Secondary Dominance, Asylum, and The Rapture of Mutual Validation

Many people who engage in BD/SM/MASTER/SLAVE/DOM/SUB activities do so because their role is essential to their Nature (at least that is my understanding) and believe that they can only be a Master, or a Slave for instance, but never the other way around. Many seek the pleasures of a secret identity to provide an outlet or escape from their public images. Whatever their role, it will more likely than not be fixed, rather than fluid. These people are the trained professionals of their field. This is where they reside as Natives. It is their home turf.

For many others, the world of Dominance and Submission is the Carnival. They are Tourists on Vacation poking their heads through cutout backgrounds waiting to have their pictures taken. For these amateurs, it is a diversion to be explored without preconceived notions because it does not define who they are. It is a vacation for the long-term relationship, but the souvenirs they bring home are not just T-shirts, hats or Mickey-Mouse ears. It is a rare and exotic spice from Faraway.

If both partners are equally committed to Total Surrender, both will realize and achieve everything they desire. In committing to the Submission of your Will, you guarantee the realization of their Desire, and when the Glove goes to the Other Hand, they will guarantee your Satisfaction with equal Abandon.

In Surrender, we are afforded the opportunity to be commanded to perform acts of sufficient depravity to allow us to realize desires too dark to be voiced by ourselves, or so far outside our own paradigms as to be as yet to be conceived. In seeking satisfaction of our own desires, we are alone. In fulfilling the desires of another, symbiosis affords results greater than the sum of the two. In either case, we invoke Fulfillment and Escape by allowing others to allow ourselves what we cannot grant or demand.

In Dominance, we find an outlet for Empowerment. Who better knows how to subjugate another than one who has been subjugated?

Any Dom who does not acknowledge and respect their obligation to serve the responsibilities to their Sub is just a Selfish Prick looking for a victim.

We provide Sanctuary for those who would grant us Asylum. Escape Velocity is achieved as we approach The Rapture of Mutual Self-Hypnosis. Rational Self-Delusion between two like-minded individuals can create a world where all your Dreams and Desires go unchallenged and all your Wishes are fulfilled.

Reality is a crutch for those who lack sufficient Imagination to enjoy Fantasy as a full-time avocation.

Do not underestimate the power that even the slightest qualification or limitations can have on your partner, or on the potentially limitless mutual devotion of the relationship. Once either of you hedge your bets or hold back, it introduces the element of doubt. In an instant, the relationship can become marginalized, finite and yet unpredictable and unstable. There is no such thing as limited Unconditional Love or Devotion.

Both parties need to experience the Spirit of the Zealot, standing on the Edge of the Volcano, eager to jump, or gratefully waiting to be thrown into the Abyss. Unconditional Surrender.

My own personal favorite manifestation of the Master/Sub dynamic places minimal emphasis on Pain, or even Humiliation, but rather becomes a game of Carnal Truth or Dare, or what I have come to refer to as Sexual Chicken. The Master (or Mistress) goes Dumpster-Diving into the mutual and separate psyches of whatever lies just beyond the fringe of Depravity or Perversion, Role-Playing, or Theater of the Mind. Engaging in Exhibitionism on Command, Voyeurism, Cuckoldry, or “Hostage-Taking”, for instance will produce a higher pulse or respiratory rate and a few extra beads of sweat on the upper lip than any ass-whipping, biting, or nipple torture I have either given or taken…at least so far….

3 Responses to “Secondary Dominance, Asylum, and The Rapture of Mutual Validation”

  1. Well this time you didn’t just change gears you changed vehicles. It’s quite a departure from most of your previous subject matter. But them again “Cinnamon” & “Polyamory” are starting to show another side of you that I find intriguing. Some how your irreverent humor helps off set your decidedly intellectual approach. I feel like you’re setting me up for a series of stories about your experiences. If not please do so ASAP! I’m sure it wasn’t writing or thinking that let you to arrive at your unique perspective. I bet you have stories to tell, and I would love to hear them.

    • Interestingly enough, I spent way too many years feeling like I was banging my head against the wall as far as my personal life and Romance were concerned…after enough time and water under the bridge, I started to recognize certain patterns, including six marriages that had not gone well. As I stated in “Take back the Crush”, I consider myself a “Romancaholic”. I am no longer willing to compromise my Life just to “make peace”, and in retrospect, it would have been much kinder to the Significant Others in my life to have been clearer about identifying my needs and desires. Recently, I’ve had the good fortune to see Love and Romance return in ways that exceeded any previous expectations from the most unexpected sources, and it just keeps getting better…I’ve definitely got a few “stories” to tell that would make good reading, because they were great Tragicomic Adventures, but the best stories are yet to come, because I really am “Living the Dream”. I was fortunate enough to have those experiences, I feel compelled to share them, because I believe they are within everyone’s grasp, for the taking.

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