The Talking Monkeys: Management

You will read the term “Management” numerous times in the course of this story. Although it is somewhat purposely vague, as a concept, it is more important to understand what it represents, rather than specifically whom it is, as the identities are less important than the functions they perform, or why.

First comes Middle Mangement, the “Collaborators” of all work place functions. The term “Collaborator” was originally a World War Two invention used initially in France to describe the recently defeated citizens (mostly women), who were willing to suck Nazi Cock and/or perform “…any and all other tasks and assignments…as deemed necessary by Management…” for chocolate, nylons, cigarettes and other favors, usually at the expense of the rest of the others who weren’t. In France, it got your head shaved, while here it gets you a corner cubby, a badge, and other favors. In either case, it represents a person who is willing to sell out their own kind for personal benefit. If this seems like an unfair or harsh pronouncement, keep in mind that most Upper Management has read The Art of War, while Middle Management attempts to find new and imaginative ways to spin The Secret or The Power to their subordinates.

Management knows who their enemies are, and conducts their operations like Warfare, while the Employees are encouraged to think positive thoughts to bring positive results by being contented with whatever falls from Management’s Table. This is not to imply that The Secret, or The Power are not perceptive and valuable texts, but it is only after recognizing the subjugation and victimization practices in Management’s Warfare against their Workers, that one starts to look elsewhere to find out how to draw upon their own power by using positivity to affect their own lives.

Ironically, it would seem best to not Wage War against Management, but to rather redirect your own positive energies to your own devices. Middle management wants to have you believe than you can use positive thoughts to get better leads on a computer-programmed dialer that has pre-set parameters called “skill sets” to get better calls, rather than to use it to find better work…preferably something you love that rewards you rather than someone else. If the analogy of Middle Management prostituting itself to The Enemy seems extreme, then either you have never actually worked in either Upper or Middle Management, or you are sufficiently numb as to not even feel it any more when it is being done to you.

Upper Management can mean a lot of different things, since some corporations have vice presidents in charge of specific functions, who spend their time supervising that operation when they are not creating the perception of a need and justifying their own positions and salaries, often at the expense of the actual operation itself. Once called Efficiency Experts, Capitating Coordinators, or the like, they have to pay their salaries with the money saved by cuts and reductions in the production staff. More like Decapitation, it’s a corporate version of Three-Card Monty since Management is not likely to pay someone to spend more money without justifying it by taking it from someone else, and somehow Management prefers the idea of taking it away from the production staff so they can give it to some corporate cocksucker with an agenda, further evidence of the contempt Management has for their own staff, as if one Privileged Executive Life is supposed to equal three hundred rank-and-file workers.

This lowest strata of Upper Management are the Snake-Oil Salesmen of their realm, a sort of semi-legitimate version of the Long Con. They are generally contracted, rather than hired per se, and as such are often not company employees, but consultants. These are the guys that can sell a salesman a pipedream. They do not stay much of anywhere very long, and are about as useful as a Remora is to a Great White…at least as long as the Shark thinks so.

Then comes so-called Upper Management, most of whom can’t make a decision to take a crap without having “Legal” “look over it” first. Most of them spend the vast majority of their time and efforts just trying to keep their jobs. While they may be felons on any number of levels, they are not true Gangsters. Gangsters in upper management have all the swagger of a Made Man who has somehow leveraged his way into “Legitimate Business.” But even if he is a CEO, he still answers to a higher authority, one way or another.

Then comes The Government, part of which is also controlled by Wiseguys, rather than Wise Men. One day, The Wrong Dickhead from the Department of…, or the Bureau of…, “…and they just want to go over a few things…”. They are the Privateers of the business world…just doing the King’s business with Government Sanction…(These guys are also the intermediaries who may get used to manipulate an executive, or an entire corporation on behalf of Someone to whom allusions are made, but names are never spoken.)

Bigger corporations often own smaller corporations, and are not above wrecking one company just to benefit the other company, or to simply liquidate an acquisition as a method of securing capital. Bigger corporations are not above manipulating the government, its people, or their laws for as much as they can for as long as they can get away with it. If you get caught, no big deal…pay a ten million dollar fine for stealing five billion, and it’s no more than “the cost of doing business”

Government is just as likely to manipulate business as well, since even businesses that do not do government contracts know better than to just say no.

For these, and many other reasons, even when a business does something that looks too stupid for explanation, the chances are that it was done for other reasons not so easy to understand, by someone with no concern for the operation itself. Try to imagine a marionette being manipulated by another marionette, who is being controlled by a puppet master.

So when you read that Management has made some decision, keep in mind, that could be anyone, from a CEO’s wife to The President. Whoever pulls the strings.

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