I call her Goddess, She calls me Lover

I have a bone to pick with no one in particular, but if only for the sake of clarification, I think that we may be due for reclassification of some very old Pursuits of Happiness.

Recently, the BD/SM community (wouldn’t it be great if we all really lived in the same neighborhood, by the way?) has begun to address the fact that although the Old Guard believes you are either a Top, or a Bottom, a Sadist or a Masochist, and that you either Bind or are Bound and either administer or receive the Discipline, My Advisors tell me this is no longer true….

For me, that is much too rigid, inflexible and limiting. I realize some people can only function in one capacity or the other because of…who knows?…lets just leave it at Something Happened Some Time Ago, or it may still be happening, but suffice it to say, that for some, when One Door Opens, Another Closes (rather than the other way around), implying that we can’t simply run willy-nilly through the whole house, leaving all the doors open, as I am often want to do.

Until a few years ago, I was a more or less typical Alpha-Male Sub, perhaps because I made life and death decisions every shift I ever worked, and I was a control-freak professionally. I was attracted to women who were assertive, especially in regard to expressing their desires, particularly if those desires included me. I don’t claim to be shy, but I find it difficult to get started, if you will. I try to induce women to pick me up, and I love it when they pick up the check and say something too crass for a man to even think about implying, and then winking at me as if to say “…Lobster, huh?” (like it may be my last meal) “…don’t think you’re not going to earn every drop of butter-sauce…” …a nod, a wink, a knowing look…I look back as if to say “Yes, Nurse Patent-Leather…your wish is my command.” That was my niche. To look like a diamond in the rough…a find…a discovery. That was then.

It has been my finding that an assertive woman often wants to dominate, allowing her to act out all kinds of fantasies that I already knew I was having myself. For many self-realized, empowered women, the more Alpha-Male the man is, the more they want to take control.

At this point, I would like to call attention to my Bone of Contention regarding acknowledgement of a portion of the BD/SM Community that is not fairly and accurately represented…Not all people necessarily derive pleasure from receiving or inflicting either pain or humiliation. I think that the Master/Sub(servient) relationship is more about Control and Surrender. Don’t get me wrong…the right amount of painful stimulus, artfully applied, can trigger massive endorphin releases that stimulate Opium Receptor sites, resulting in a euphoria similar to heroin (…according to my “research”…) that some refer to as the Sub Zone. And few things can equal the pleasure of spanking someone you have Loved long enough to really want to spank…

But for a few of us, the real thrills come from what I have come to refer to as “Sexual Chicken”…where the Dom du Jour purposefully sets out to push the limits of their Sub/Slave to perform acts dredged up by Dumpster-Diving into both psyches looking for new and as yet undiscovered territories of what hopefully at least feel perverted or dirty…trust me on this point…if that doesn’t seem like an almost limitless territory, then you are not really using your imagination to its fullest potential.

What I have only come to realize very recently is that many Dominant Women also have a huge capacity to be dominated…as much as they crave Control and Power for themselves, they are also attracted to those who possess it. Registered Nurses are no strangers to this enigma, for instance. They frequently seek men that need to be fixed (not like a cat, of course…more like an old house, or some project) that does not threaten them, allowing them to feel superior and in control…a pet boyfriend, if you will. They are frequently generous to a fault, but regard these husbands and lovers as possessions, that they soon grow tired of, seeking an affair with a doctor or cop who makes them feel helpless. Not all men are up to the challenge of playing Master to the Dominatrix, but then again, if you are already an Alpha-Male type, it not only is within your job description professionally, but who better knows how to subjugate another being than someone who craves Domination?

As I have mentioned in other posts, we all need a “Safety Word” to prevent harm or emotional damage if we intend to sail in these convoluted and treacherous waters. This is axiomatic to the pursuit of Forbidden Pleasures danced on the Razor’s Edge. In much the same way, those of us who go both ways as either Master or Slave, may find it helpful to have a word or phrase that indicates our intentions, desires, and fantasies or more accurately, our desired Role for either the evening, or even the moment.

Either of us are well-suited to Assume the Position and when that is our desire, I call her Goddess, or she calls me Lover. Or else I call her Slave-Girl, and she calls me My Pet….

One Man’s Meat is another man’s Poison.

One Man’s Ceiling is another man’s Floor.

One Man’s Mate is another man’s Person.

One Man’s Goddess is another man’s Whore.

…I apologize in advance for the male-oriented poem. Our culture and our language have certain almost built-in prejudices, and I was trying to manipulate well-know phrases by juxtaposition. Please feel free to reply with a second verse that helps balance the scales. You get the idea, of course….

Sex allows Adults to Act out like Children…to play…to fantasize. It is the most exalted form of Theater of the Mind.

All the World is a stage we’re going through.