Gratitude: I shit in water that is cleaner than most people drink

Gratitude

I shit in water that is cleaner than most of the world drinks

I have been working for three weeks, off and on, to find a way to open up this post. I believe gratitude is one of the most fundamental necessities for enhancing your perception of the quality of your life.

Every morning, first thing I contemplate my gratitude, which is easily accomplished in the privacy of the bathroom.

By many people’s standards, I live like a homeless person indoors. The house I rent is squalid and run-down, and the landlord refuses to fix it. Although I keep it clean, for instance the tiles in the shower are falling off the walls, and if I want it fixed, I will have to do it myself, and the rest of the house is much the same.

For now, it is the least of my problems, and at worst a temporary state of affairs that has been going on for about six years. Don’t ask why…it is simply not that important.

So it would be quite easy to convert my toilet into a pity-pot as well, but it would be for no good purpose or end.

This morning, while meditating and contemplating my gratitude, I was struck by the irony of how the most privileged are the most likely to suffer from depression. We take clean water for granted while languishing in luxury.

If you had to carry every drop of water a half-mile from a single faucet that your entire village used, you might not be so inclined to feel sad that you can’t afford all the premium channels on cable TV.

If you had to deal with the health problems associated with the dirty, infected, unclean water that so much of the world is forced to drink, you wouldn’t have enough time or energy to focus on how your children’s personal choices about their lives don’t quite live up to your expectations.

If your fear of soldiers, bandits, or war lords is only surpassed by your fear of the police, you might not find yourself coveting your neighbor’s new car.

If you had to work for twelve cents an hour for twelve hours a day in a factory under unsafe conditions where your children also worked, just to put bread on the table (and bread in this case is not a metaphor…you can’t buy much meat on $1.44 per day), then you wouldn’t get all depressed and weepy that your job doesn’t really fulfill your emotional needs or live up to your career goals.

Chemical imbalances aside, most depression and self-pity is borne of unrealistic expectations in privileged surroundings.

And speaking of water, how many other cultures enjoy a steamy, hot, thirty-minute shower just by opening the faucet?

Find your gratitude for what you have. Nurture it with Love, and send it out to everyone you meet every chance you get. It will come back to you. The world has more than enough money, sex, drugs and possessions for everybody. If you want more, try giving more. If you want action, you gotta give action.

The first important action is to find and express your gratitude.

THFWS: The Four and the Three

The Four and the Three

Ash answered the door wearing the beach towel he had abandoned earlier the night before. Fortunately, it was too early for the light to hurt his eyes. He was cheerful and upbeat, but clearly exhausted.

“I was afraid we would be too early…should we come back later?” Darcy blurted out. “I was afraid we would wake you.”

“That’s OK…I had to get up to answer the door anyhow…” quipped Ash with a slight smirk and a chuckle. “No seriously…come on in. We really want to talk with the four of you…but how did you know?”

“Charles and Suki called about an hour ago” said Mark and Darcy almost in unison.

“Oh really?” Merle was now standing behind Ash dressed in his robe. Darcy’s eyes were wide and expressive, but since her gaze met Merle’s as she scanned upwards from the “tent” Merle had pitched under his robe, she suddenly blushed furiously.

Charles interjected “We saw the same thing you did, only in our mirror…the Bandaloop Dance…we had watched her do it a couple days ago, and both of us remarked how uplifting it was to see her do it…except in the vision, she was surrounded by chimps and bonobos and they were all doing this dance.”

“First, we saw you guys on the porch with the Macaw, but then, it was like the mirror zoomed in on the image of Darcy…we experienced the same kind of blindness…from the flash of light, and she faded in as our vision returned; then as it zoomed back out, we saw the whole image of Darcy, but without you three. There were hundreds of Chimps and Bonobos all around her dancing, following her every move like she was their Queen or something…it was quite moving, whatever the vision meant….”

“Boys! Boys! Wherever are your manners? Invite our guests inside, don’t keep them waiting in the doorway…Come inside…are you hungry? Would you like something to eat? We have so much to discuss…and figure out, but please do come in and make yourself comfortable.” Kali proclaimed in an exaggerated ante bellum Scarlet O’Hara sort of voice that dripped of Southern hospitality, Magnolia and Jasmine. She had gone to the bedroom and put on a colorful short sheer robe that clung to her curves like a formula one racer at Le Mans…it didn’t really hide much of anything, but Kali was neither shy nor modest in the least, and they were among friends…soon to be much closer friends.

Chairs were assembled around the dining room table. Kali fixed eggs and brought out bread to go with the fruit and fish. Coffee and tea were brewed, and everyone pitched in while they noshed and made small talk, mostly.

Once they got settled in and comfortable, they started to discuss their strategy. Ash was the first to speak.

“I’d be lying if I tried to tell you we really know what we are doing, or what to expect. You know we have been trying to make contact with The Ancient Ones, but we don’t even know what that really means. Since earliest times, they were regarded as gods or beings from another dimension.”

“They possess great power and have wisdom, insight and knowledge that we believe to be very valuable in our pursuit of our personal evolution. They all have different names, and various customs and rituals surround each of the cultures built around them, but there also is so much replication, or repetition and similarities in the way that they are summonsed, as well as differences in their ‘worshippers’ expectations of the results.”

“We are of the opinion that if we can find a way to cross over, or to attract them to us, that whatever ‘dimension’ or state of mind, or being upon which we meet, may well be shared by all the Ancient Ones…that there may be a common thread that allows us…well, Communion, if you will.”

Mark looked the most puzzled. “I’m not sure I understand….

“It’s like you can surf Melbourne, Coco Beach, Cape May…or Maui, but it’s still surfing…you have to know how to surf…it’s a technique.”  Charles and Mark had been friends for years, and he had a very deferential, almost fatherly way of interacting with Mark. He put his hand on Mark’s shoulder as he spoke. “We are all attempting different ways to make contact.”

Merle took up the next part of the discussion.

“I have discovered a drug that not only possesses so-called “psychedelic” properties, but it also may enable a sort of bridge between Man and The Gods. I originally called it ‘The Knowledge of Good and Evil’…

“The Fruit of the Tree?…that got Adam and Eve kicked out of the garden?” interjected Mark.

“Well…that’s the Christian Bible version of it…there’s a bit more to it according to a number of biblical scholars, but…” Ash tried to interject, but Merle took over.

“I have decided to call it ‘Kali’…Chemical Kali…I guess for obvious reasons…otherwise, no one would know if we were referring to our Earth Mother, or the vehicle we use to try to contact her and her friends.”

Now it was Kali’s turn to interrupt.

“As flattered as I am…I’d like to suggest an alternate name…and an explanation for my motives. When I was born, I was christened ‘Calliope.’ It’s a Greek name…the Goddess of Epic Poetry…Homer’s muse…the source of inspiration for the Odyssey…they pronounced it ‘Kal Ee Oh Pee’ but at school, the kids called me ‘Ka Lie Oh Pee’, like on a carousel…I hated the name, and the sound of the instrument, so when I left home, I changed it legally to ‘Kali’ for ‘The Dark Mother’ and Wife of Shiva…so for the sake of avoiding confusion…how about if we call it ‘The Carousel’? I’ve already had my share of confusion regarding my name…people won’t know if your mean me, or the drug…I’m honored by your dedication and we are the only ones who really need to know the origin of the name…please?”

“Hey, why not just shorten ‘The Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil’…to just ‘The Fruit’? Our Kali is Kali…our very own ‘Dark Mother’…and a carousel goes around in circles, but never goes anywhere. One of the Zen Patriarchs once said that to even say the name of the Buddha was like pouring a bucket of shit on his head…I know I am very new to the group, but it’s just a thought…” Darcy suddenly got shy and blushed…”I mean…well….”

“Check out the big brain on Darcy!” quipped Mark as he winked and gave her buttocks an affectionate and familiar squeeze. “I agree”.

“Well thanks for the flowers, big guy… (an expression with which both of them were surprisingly comfortable, despite about six inches disparity between her height and Mark’s)…but I’d prefer to be known for my big heart.” She winked right back, and everyone agreed.

Ash took over the conversation again. “So far, we believe that to ‘cross over’ we need to enlist the four winds, the four seasons, the four cardinal points of the compass that correspond to the four directions in Indian medicine, the four corners of the earth (also your head)…Kali and I are in the Sacred Circle, and Merle will be The North, Darcy will be the South, Charles will be the East, and Suki the West…”

“…uh, excuse me, but there are seven of us here…where do I fit in?” Mark was understandably  anxious about where the discussion seemed to be heading.

“…Mark…we haven’t sorted out all the details of this yet…you have been a very special part of our group for too long to just be set aside or ignored like an old shoe…whatever we learn from all this will be shared by everyone. Trust me…you do trust me, don’t you Mark?…Haven’t we always welcomed you into our home…and bed?” Kali looked into Mark’s eyes, and winked provocatively as she rubbed the inside of her right knee against his inner thigh, stroking it lightly.

Kali had him on that…he could never resist her charm and beauty. He and Kali had been intimate more than a few times. They both genuinely cared for each other, and it was no accident that Mark had not been in a serious relationship for several years, until he met Darcy.

He once told Kali he would “…walk straight into the gates of Hell for her”…be careful what you wish for, Mark.

The Church of Reason

The Church of Reason

What is it?

The diametric opposition of

circumstances beyond our control,

that one should live

so another may die?

One may eat

so another

may find new meanings in the Last Supper?

(Guess who’s coming to dinner?)

You.

(Guess what’s for dinner?)

You.

What is it?

Truth?

Go eat your Truth

some hungry morning.

The Lords of the Church of Reason

all too often

find themselves

Smart,

So others may be found Ignorant.

We claim to love the Truth.

The Church of Reason only teaches facts,

and although

it espouses Thought Unconsummated,

Memory is the well-worn lessor concubine,

paramour

to a Queen,

the familiar and obvious

eclipsing the radiant unknown.

Is not The Way.

It does not teach The Way.

It does not love The Way.

The Church of Reason is a prison of addictions

from which you must free yourself

to be worthy,

yet still wise.

Love and Logic

Romance and Reason

A midnight marriage

The Ritual Dance

The Ways of Majic

Science gives us what we think we need to think.

Religion gives us what we need to think we want.

Knowledge surpasses all.

Knowledge of facts a tool,

Knowledge of Experience the means

justifying the end.

Data

is not Information.

Information

is not Knowledge.

Knowledge

is not Truth.

Truth

is not Wisdom.

Wisdom

is not Beauty.

Beauty

is not Love.

Love

is not Music.

Music

is not Data.

Enlightenment

is not The Everlasting Kiss.

Spring Dream

Spring rolls in like mist on a lake.

Dawn belongs to the Spring.

The renewal of Life

to awake from long hibernation.

It’s all a dream

of waking from a dream

where sleeping is all that we knew.

Spring is a cat stalking the first robin of the season.

Spring is skinny-dipping on a Nooner.

Impulse impaled on a ritual

electric, yet primeval,

Romance confounding all Reason.

Vibrant intensity balancing cool hues of pastel

Caution giving way to Compulsion,

Heaven infiltrating Hell.

It’s all a dream…it’s only a dream

that smart lives forbid us to tell.

Spring is as moist as the forbidden honey of a passionate tryst

consummated going home from a funeral…

A cry of joyous outrage

railing against tedious Death.

Spring is the most recent

loss of Innocence,

naughty, and yet still naïve.

Stolen kisses on a warm afternoon.

The days we most love to remember.

It’s all a dream.

The lewdest of dreams

                           from which we do not wish to be awoken.

We spring to action

and come to Life.

The fountain of life is but a spring.

The clock would stop

but for its ever-taught spring, and

Hope springs defiantly eternal

as a song springs to our lips.

Spring isn’t as much a season

as it is new eyes

with which we view

our same old wintry lives.

It’s all a dream of dream within a dream.

If you’re lucky you’ll never awaken.

Sculpture (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Double Dream of Spring (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Mouse Eats Cat-Food, But the Cat-Bowl is Broken

The Mouse Eats Cat-Food, but the Cat-Bowl is Broken

(Inspired by the words of Seung Sahn)

A street-peddler shouts,

announcing his arrival.

Inside the house

a child cries.

His mother hears them both,

and gathers coins.

She calls out to the peddler.

Money becomes Candy.

Candy becomes Money.

The child’s tears were Salty,

But the Candy is Sweet.

A quarter is still twenty-five cents.

 

ADDICTION

Addiction

A voice spoke to me from out of a dream.

“She is your Salvation.

She is your Redemption.

If you can show her the True Path

you will find Happiness.”

Because I believed I needed

Redemption,

I desired the Knowledge

to find the True Path.

Because I sought to attain

Salvation,

I struggled to attain

Enlightenment.

And because I desired

her love,

I found myself forever

seeking her Approval

and Favor in vain.

Without Sin,

there is no need for

Salvation.

Without Guilt,

no need for

Redemption.

Free of the bondage that has made prisoners of us both.

If I seek Approval and Favor,

I empower her rejections.

In so doing, I enslave her

to her own desires for Power.

She loves me,

She loves me not.

The dog runs after the bone

long after the arrow has passed downtown.

Do not try to hit the Moon with a stick.

In the Spring,

when the Rains come,

the grass grows everywhere

all by itself.

What is Love?

Already you know.

It is just like this.

 

 

 

NOTHING

Nothing

Knowing how to teach by not speaking,

sometimes non-actions speak louder

than no words at all.

Sometimes silence is mightier than the pen.

A frog jumps into a still pond.

The sound drowns out the words of all the Bodhisattvas

and all the Buddhas.

Full to the top with emptiness,

Words are a mustache on the Buddha.

If you find yourself trying to conduct a chorus of pigs,

walk away.

The pigs may never thank you for it,

But they will be happier,

And so will you.

Goodbye?…I’ll Leave the light On….

Unfinished Business

Goodbye?…I’ll Leave the light On….

If we should never meet or speak again,

I would not sadly think

of days and nights

unspent together,

but rather fondly reminisce

Who we Were

and what we meant

to each other.

And how we felt

 when souls first touch,

long before our lips or bodies met,

and everything was new and fresh.

We searched for understanding,

acknowledgement, and appreciation,

finding it

in each other’s eyes.

We came together

in Innocence.

We started as friends.

We ended as lovers.

If we must go our separate ways,

Take comfort in what we knew and who we were.

It is yours alone

to keep.

No one can take that from you,

Not even me.

THFWS: They Became What They Beheld… (More strong sexual themes and images)…Hey Kids: This is not for you…get the fuck out…

The Home for Wayward Souls and the Talking Monkeys

They Became What They Beheld… (More strong sexual themes and images…Hey Kids: This is not for you…get the fuck out…next time I will have to remember to put Vaseline on the doorknob)

“When they returned to the paneled living room, they noticed the eyes and the vaginas were already winking at them. One of the things they found most interesting was the congruency of their images and visions. They were all having the same simultaneous experience. This is an extremely rare occurrence in occult drug experimentation. Although I have witnessed some of the phenomena occurring here tonight, most of it seems to be a ‘group experience’ for Kali, Ash, and Merle…for a while, I thought it was just ‘mass hysteria’, but there is an intangible quality to all of this that intrigues my imagination and prompts me to continue my observations…oh what the fuck…who am I kidding?…as a journalist and reporter my objectivity flew out the window hours ago. I could (and have, in the past) watched them fuck for hours on end…my wife says it’s a sickness, and calls me a ‘peeping frog’…voyeurism is a relatively mild kink, all things considered, especially compared to these three acrobats…is there such a thing as a ‘sexual athlete’? If so, they belong in the Olympics…I mean….”

(Raul, our reporter for Galactic Geographic has really begun to babble…but interestingly enough, Sharma and Sobe the ushers, find themselves quite busy once again. Apparently new guests are starting to arrive en masse.)

Kali had once remarked that “Even if I could unhinge my jaw like a snake, I’d have to stop waxing my mustache just to hide the stretch marks…just to get it in my mouth.”…and don’t even fantasize about ‘deepthroat’” because sex with Merle necessitated extraordinary adaptive skills due to his sheer largesse. Fortunately, Merle had also developed preternatural intuition and empathic skills, which meant he was patient and gentle to a fault; in fact, he often had to be encouraged to become more vigorous before he would even approach giving it his all (which never happened). (Btw: Kali’s parents  were Greek and Turkish, although collectively, most of the races got some representation in her gene pool, so Kali waxed “everything but my eyebrows and head.”

Her skin was exquisitely smooth and fine-pored and a caramel-mocha color that resembled porcelain, or a properly smoked meerschaum pipe that lightened and darkened with the high and low surfaces of her voluptuously oversculptured body.

Her flexibility and athleticism were well balanced by the fact that she also played several instruments, painted, sang beautifully and spoke more languages than she was inclined to admit. Ash and Merle both adored her and sometimes jokingly referred to her as their “home entertainment center”. Somewhere between a classical geisha and a “Renaissance Woman”; (if such a thing were actually recognized, she would be the archetype).

Kali’s favorite “cumpulsion” was DP. She got a great deal of practice at it, and because Ash and Merle were equally inventive, athletic and broad-minded, they became very good at it. Because of the height disparities, this usually necessitated Merle having to lie on his back. Kali would then straddle him, with her feet flat on the floor so as to squat onto Merle, since the distance from her knees to her hips was not sufficient to allow her to kneel, at least initially.

Ash and Kali especially enjoyed anal when Merle was home, because they had more conventional congress when he was away. Ash was quite amply endowed, but anal with Merle was “almost” out of the question (a discussion for another time and place), so their simultaneous coital congress usually followed the above paradigm more often than not. Even reverse cowgirl DP involved placing Ash’s buttocks in Merle’s face, which did little to enhance the experience for either of the men. (It’s not like they got much chance to get bored, all things considered.)

Depending on how long it had been since Kali and Merle had been intimate with each other, it would take an accordingly sufficient time for Kali to be able to accommodate Merle’s prodigious size, which eventually would result in Kali’s inner labia becoming enormously swollen and distended. Despite what many men may proclaim in public however, it was Kali’s experience that almost all the men with whom she kept company or entertained were most appreciative of her condition and it was an extreme turn-on (fortunately) for both Ash and Merle.

And so it was that by approximately three AM after Friday the Thirteenth of Eternity, they were once again conjoined, reveling, nay wallowing in rut when the Ancient Ones began to make their presence known again.

The wooden paneling now produced tongues and phalluses (how often do you see that word written in the plural?) in addition to the eyes and vaginas. The tongues and phalluses writhed as the ocular and vulvar manifestations continued to bat and flutter approvingly. So intense was their desire that although they noticed the occurrences, they were not especially distracted by them in the heat of the moment.

This time, when the trumpeting began, they did not stop, but rather redoubled the intensity of their ferocious conjugation. They became more vocal themselves as the shuddering, groaning, shrieking earthquake around them erupted…into stone cold silence. Talk about being conspicuous in its absence, the deathly quiet of the room actually gave them momentary pause in time to witness a neon blue-violet conquistador step out from the walls in absolute silence.

He and the horse were in full vestments and armor as they both surveyed the room. After a moment, he waved the go-ahead signal used since earliest military times to signal an advance. With that, as they proceeded through the room, they were followed by a multitude of figures of every description as the walls morphed into what resembled a Mayan Amphitheater where Sharma and Sobe were escorting these paranormal dignitaries to their seats.

Vendors appeared, dispensing all manner of exotic delicacies (most of which looked bizarre to the trio) as if they were “Red Hots.”

“Welcome my friends, to the show that never ends;

we’re so glad you could attend.

Step inside, step inside.”

When Kali shrieked in ecstasy, a maelstrom of voices emerged. As Merle groaned and bellowed it was as if an elephant was trumpeting while Ash growled like a grizzly bear in rut.

The audience began to clap and chant in tongues unknown to them, which they seemed to understand intuitively.

The drumming became louder as more and more percussion instruments were added to the mix. An orchestra of aliens played a symphony of obscure instruments that appeared to be conducted by Lord Krishna himself. Los Guerreros and all the Orichás were in attendance. Rati was costumed as a cheerleader performing on the floor of the amphitheater, doing handstands and backflips with no panties. Familiar, recognizable figures of historical religious note came and went. Lost Souls of every type and description flew, zapped and zigzagged hither and yon, sometimes zooming in close and personal, even fondling, stroking, sniffing and licking the trio. The amphitheater shook until it seemed it would  crumble and collapse upon them all, but they did not stop. They seemed to possess superhuman strength and stamina as the frenzy reached its crescendo to the cheering of the assembled multitude.

They awoke at dawn to the sound of a rooster crowing to announce the arrival of the sun.

Charles, Suki, Darcy and Mark were also knocking on their door.

 

The Home for Wayward Souls: The East and the West.

The East and The West

Kali, Ash, and Merle were stunned. The choice of Darcy to be the South to Merle’s North was perfect. She was young, and playful, and her Bandaloop Dance seemed to possess some real power of some sort, and her effect on the chimps and bonobos at the Habitat was already legendary.

They were still at a loss to divine the identities of the East and the West an hour later, no matter what Kali tried. They were very much under the influence of the drug, but were starting to get hungry and thirsty, and decided to take a break for awhile, and truth be told, they still wanted to take up where they left off when the spirits came out to play. They even thought that perhaps if they resumed the show that the spirits might return, so they thought they would go back to the dining room to fuel up. They also were feeling like they needed to sit for a spell, so to speak, after kneeling for so long around the cauldron.

Ash sat down at the far end of the table, and Kali sat on his left. Merle sat opposite Kali, on Ash’s right. They noshed and sipped and mostly made small talk until Ash suddenly realized that the mirror they had placed behind the altar faced another mirror several feet behind his head, and it had created a series of reflections that extended back in both directions as far as he could see, producing an almost infinite cascade of increasingly smaller and smaller reflections of the same image, which he brought to Kali and Merle’s attentions, who were quick to point out that if they looked backward at the other mirror, they saw another series of the back of Ashe’s head as well, which he could not see, of course, but after he turned around to face the mirror behind him, when they looked back at the mirror behind the alter, what they saw couldn’t have shocked them more.

Instead of their faces reflected back at them, they instead saw the faces of Charles and Suki, but their reflection showed a curious series of concentric fractures around a bullet hole in the center of the mirror that was not present in their mirror. Charles and Suki had told Ash about the experiences with their mirror, and they had shared their experiences with other members of the parish. Charles and Suki believed they had created a portal for spirits to jump into their world, and had already had some very interesting encounters since the portal had been created. As stunned as the trio was, Kali was the first to regain her indomitable sense of humor and waved at the reflections of Charles and Suki, who waved back….

It was now obvious to everyone as to who would be West and East. They tried to call Charles and Suki, but got a beep-through on their call-waiting, which turned out to be them. As excited as they all were about their discovery, they agreed to table the more complicated subject of their roles as East and West until Saturday.

The rest of the evening was spent in the pursuit of joyful licentiousness and enlightened gratitude, making a great deal of Joyful Noises to anyone who cared to listen, but Raul, Sharma, and Sobe were not the only ones to be their witnesses….