On Letting Go, Pt. IX: The Big Lie

(This post was a long time coming…it was almost painful to write by the time I finally got it sorted out…at least so far…it marks another leg of my journey of self-discovery that was triggered by…well let’s just say “…an interesting series of unfortunate co-incidences.” Only you can decide for yourself if it has any bearing on your own life.)

It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me at all that I should proclaim myself as a quintessential iconoclast.

I am no True Believer in much of anything. Faith has almost no place in my world despite the fact that as an incurable Romantic, I still desperately cling to Hope.

I am not afraid of apparent contradictions.

“We all need Love, but if you can’t find it, at least sustain Hope, but even when there is no Hope, at least try to find something interesting to do.”

I sometimes feel that I may be the Master of the Obvious by virtue of many of the things that I post, but there is at least some measure of originality within them by virtue of the often bizarre interconnections that I may make between the elements that I attempt to bring together within a story or post.

I am not delusional about presenting anything entirely original, but I have been told that I possess a colorful perspective, and there are some who find it amusing, or if not enlightening in and of itself, at least entertaining.

This is also in fact another of my notes-in-a bottle thrown from the shore of my desert island I call the Villa Chez Dreamland, still waiting for the arrival of the third lifeboat, not so much a cry for help as a shout-out awaiting a nod, a wink or a glimmer of recognition from those of like mind.

I also believe that everyone has to figure their own shit out for themselves, so it is hard to rail against much of anything without sounding like I am l telling people what to think.

So let’s be very clear on one thing…my advice is not what to think, or how to think…just please THINK.

This is one reason why I am very quick to criticize or even ridicule Politics, Organized Religion, or Organized Crime….

Most of us think that Organized Crime, for instance refers to non-Anglo organizations like the Mafia (or Costa Nostra), the Yakuza, African-American, Mexican or Vietnamese gangs or the like.

I have even heard it argued that unless you visit prostitutes, gamble and run up markers, purchase or use illegal drugs, borrow money from loan sharks or engage in other similar pursuits that involve criminal activities, that you are more in danger from disorganized crime (like the asshole that broke into your car or robbed you at the ATM, etc.).

The truth is that I am opposed to just about anything that is too fucking organized at all….

I am also something of an anarchist. I love the chaos that occurs when God rolls the dice that control the universe.

As much as we are taught to embrace Stability, both Motion and Change are the two universal aspects of not only animate, but all seemingly inanimate entities as well. (We just have different perceptions of Time.)

Whether it is a matter of Religion, or Politics, my issue is that they purport to tell you how or what to think, and inevitably they manipulate people to do something that is more likely to benefit them than you.

When it comes to Organized Crime, however, I would suggest that you are far more likely to be victimized by Healthcare Insurance Administrators, Congress, the IRA, the Treasury Department, most attorneys, the court systems, the Police, the Military (or more accurately, those who profit from them…what Eisenhower himself referred to as the Military-Industrial Complex), the Insurance Industry, or Pharmaceutical Manufacturers (just to name some of the worst), which are fear-based organizations that are primarily run by privileged white-collar white people who claim to be your protector or even friend, who have become the aristocracy of America…all the while amassing record-breaking profits by claiming to protect those who cannot protect themselves?

Who will protect us from our protectors?…or from all the good people?

But in truth, even that is just the tip of the iceberg.

When it comes to The Big Lie, there is no real charlatan worse than yourself.

There are many people or organizations as seemingly benign as the PTA that try to passive-aggressively get you to conform rather than to think, but if you choose not to question virtually every aspect of your so-called civilized life then you have no one to blame but yourself if you wake up one day feeling dissatisfied and disillusioned because you realized that you were robbed of everything which you once thought was important to you.

Of course that takes diligence, thought, and perseverance on your part…it might mean giving up a few hours of reality television each week…or even a few of the friends whom you would be better off without.

Many of them are the most insidious purveyors of The Big Lie because they are everywhere. They are so pervasive that they are in fact The Norm.

Once you begin to assess your life in terms of Authenticity, the paucity of truth governing our lives is as ubiquitous as Coca-
Cola, Mickey Mouse, Christ on the cross or fly-shit on a window sill.

More than one hundred and fifty years ago Henry David Thoreau penned the expression “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation…”. (Keep in mind that, at that point in time women had virtually no power or choice in determining their own destinies at all.)

Kurt Vonnegut used a number of expression like “Foma, Wampeters and Grand Falloons” to describe the interlocking series of lies that support our conventional modern “society in its discontent” (last quote courtesy of Erica Jong).

That was a long time ago…

In the Age of Mad Men, before even Masters and Johnson and only a little while after Kinsey, but no matter how much freer or more self-determined or self-actualized we think we have become, women are still marginalized and objectified, and spouses leave each other to go from one frying pan to another in record numbers while they are all working themselves to death pursuing an increasingly conformist one-size-fits-all lifestyle of mindlessly insecure, envious, covetous consumerism until they are either too old, infirm or senile to even remember how to dream, as their children denounce them “…’til all is dust”.

It may seem difficult now, but the longer you wait to ask yourself “What do I really want?” before you act on your answers, the more likely that it will seem impossible later.

One if the most baffling methods of self-deception is the art of weaving an interlocking series of seemingly unsolvable enigmas and paradoxes whereby one professes to despise or reject some action or series of behaviors, that are somehow justified by their mandatory participation in order to maintain their lifestyle, live up to the self-imposed “code” of ethics or behaviors related to some membership within a group with whom they identify, their religion, or because of obligatory familial expectations.

These people love to talk about their problems, and appear to be asking for your advice. They do not want your advice, or any solutions.

They may ask “what should I do?” but they are quick to counter with a host of reasons why any suggestions offered can’t solve their unsolvable problems.

Who hasn’t at least tried to politely listen to:

“I hate my job, but…”

“There is no love left in our relationship, but…”

“I feel useless and unfulfilled, but…”

“I’d leave this town and never look back, but…”

“I know it’s wrong to tolerate his (or her) abuse, but…”

“My parents treat me like a child, but…”

“I just have so much love to give, but…”


“We need to talk about our problems…” (knowing full-well that if you try to counter, or address any of your issues, then the rational talk will stop and the screaming or ultimatums will begin)?

For many, their unsolvable dilemmas not only focus the attentions of everyone within their sphere of influence on themselves, but it also protects them from having to either seek effective solutions to the problems within their lives or face the Great Existential Void.

These are not in fact modern problems or questions, but the world in which we live has done a masterfully ingenious way of hypnotizing our culture as a way of disguising and marketing The Big Lie.

We keep doing the same things over and over again in the delusional belief that if we just do them differently next time, the outcome will somehow be different.

If your idea of expressing your true individuality is to buy from the “mix and match” collection from J.C. Penny (unless you are a cross-dresser and that is all you can afford) there is not much hope of self-discovery through any originality of thought.

You should never stop asking yourself “What do I really want?” or “Do I really need this?” or “What will this really cost me?” or “Just because everybody else believes it, is this really true?” or even “Are you fucking kidding me?”

You may be the one lone voice of reason in the midst of a lynch mob… (Only you can decide if it is worth the risk of doubling the number of innocent lives lost.)

Why are we so hesitant to say “I love you” (or “I don’t love you”) when we mean it most? Sexual intimacy pales in comparison to exposing your soul to another whom you love.

The other question is how much are you trying to promote a lie about yourself because you fear judgment from your peers if they only knew who you really were, or what you were really like?

It is important to know exactly how candid and frank you can be with whomever you are speaking at any particular time…I get it…no need to expose your vulnerabilities to someone who may take malicious action or judgment against you for reasons deemed necessary for their own protection….

It is tragic to think that we live in a society which is still so superstitious as to believe that the incantations of mere words or phrases can pervert or somehow kidnap our morality just by hearing them.

I am trying to address the question of being able to see yourself exactly as you are…exposing your own deepest secret fears that you have never been able to face even within yourself.

How much difference is there between your public and private life? …between who and how you wish you were and how and what you really are?

Could you summons the wherewithal to write an honest semi-autobiographical novel that used your own special knowledge of yourself candidly and without reservation? Could you portray yourself in all your unselfconsciously flawed imperfection with the same loving-kindness you so desire from others?

What do you most fear that others could learn about you that would expose you to shame, or ridicule?

Have you ever lied to your Doctor? Your Therapist or Social Counselor? Your Spouse? Your Children? Your Parents? Your Family? Your Employer? Your Peers? Your Friends? Your Lovers? Your Neighbors? The Police? Your Priest/Minister/Rabbi/Spiritual Master?

What does it take to get you to realize that you are not lying to them…that you are lying to yourself?

Who doesn’t crave the opportunity to grant amnesty for the confessions you already know you are owed by those closest to your heart, if only they would just admit their actions?

How could that not open your own heart to share the unbridled, unvarnished, unexpurgated truth about anything either of you desperately desired to unburden yourselves of, if only you knew in your heart of hearts that it would be forgiven?

And if it should be deemed unforgivable, why are you still there?

Is there a deep dark secret corner of your soul where lurks some aspect of your character, a hidden desire, a fantasy, a fear, a fetish, a phobia, an action, an addiction, an obsession, an ideation, a dream, a need, a neurosis, something you wish you could recall, or recant, or pay recompense or self-rebuke, for which you still hold guilt by virtue of its secrecy, but that nonetheless was or is regardlessly a legitimate part of your being that holds within its secrecy what constitutes your ultimate shame and humiliation?

Can you even acknowledge them to yourself?

How many people have you known in your life who thought that they were covering up some deep, dark secret which just about everyone around them already knew because it was so obvious?

It may be something as seemingly innocuous as that ridiculous comb-over, a toupée, shoe lifts, or dyed hair (in men), latent or blatant homosexuality, alcoholism, drug abuse or that poor soul who tries so hard in vain to stuff her size fourteen body into a size seven dress, or feels she needs to pad her brassiere…

The submissive, the cuckold, or the fantasizing Dominatrix who is afraid to ask for a date and has no boyfriend? Daddy/Mommy issues? Sex Addict? Gambler? Chronic Masturbator? Over-compensating tiny penis victim, or premature ejaculator? …as long as no one openly challenges their charade, they live in denial, if only to themselves.

Of course, you may think I am completely full of shit.

And you are entitled to that…at least you are thinking. The real question is if you are being honest with yourself. Only you can know that.

The Young are not afraid to lie to themselves because they have no acute awareness of the End of Days, but the closer we come to acknowledging our finite mortality the more precious each moment becomes…too precious to waste upon falsehoods, chimerae, or mirages.

Every lie that you eliminate from your world just makes room for that much more Life, Love, and Freedom.

Just keep asking for yourself. Dare to trust the truth within you.

You already know.

Stop lying to yourself.

…And trust your heart.



Chazz Vincent








7 Responses to “On Letting Go, Pt. IX: The Big Lie”

  1. Thought you might like this:

    • Great song, and a great start for the journey of self awareness. Thank you for sharing it. I never heard it before.
      It represents one of four aspects of truth, namely how the external world lies to us, how or if we allow ourselves to be deceived, how we lie and are lied to by to our significant others, and finally, how we lie to ourselves.
      You impress me as a seeker of the truth because you do not seem to fear it, and even embrace it.

  2. Questioning and reasoning can become distractions in itself for me. This was a great post Chazz.

    • They have become my principle fetishes…(not that I don’t have many).
      Several times in my life, this obsession with Truth has profoundly altered my world. It never seems to stop unfolding, and lately it has produced a simplicity of calm in a previously chaotic existence.
      I am glad you liked it.

  3. Excellent writing, Chazz. You posed questions which pricked and prodded my own consciousness. There are no coincidences and as I find myself awake very early this morn, with an unsettled spirit, I read your words. I am a seeker just as you are and the more I embrace the more I realize there is more i have yet to discover. The resistence and rejection and outright hatred that has been thrown my way, especially lately, leaves me in shock at times and in great despair. I see the corruption and the lies and the greed and I stand up for the truth only to get shot at and made to feel as if I were the criminal, not “they”. You are so right about the organized bullshit. I too have refused to conform even as a child and oh have I been hated for it. I will NOT give someone my mind willingly. My interactions with the world, people in general, are minimal again especially lately because the brainwashed rear up ugly as I speak truth or just act myself. Did I say act myself? I just rolled my eyes on that one, Chazz, because you would think again I commit atrocious crimes for being ME. I scare people and why? Because they don’t know who they are. They rely on others to tell them what to do. I relate better to my 3 year old neighbor then I do to most people. I’m enjoying this little boy now because more then likely he will grow up and submit to the brainwashing and the lies and I will loose this precious connection to just being.
    I have lately too, been finally meeting some people who “seem” to be walking truth and who are standing up saying NO to Big Pharm, NO to the system in general and who THINK. That is what is so terrifying to me the most. No one THINKS anymore. I’ve been in more situations that leave me standing stunned as I witness a “professional” acting like a dumb ass puppet doing or saying something that makes absolutely no sense and in some cases outright dangerous.
    I could go on and on. Just know your words sparked in me a process that is now in motion to bring solution to an aspect of my life now versus “someday”. Thank you, Chazz.
    Namaste, Amy

    • Thank you for the kind reply Amy.
      That post took several weeks to finish and seamed to take on a life of its own before I was done…at least for now.
      I can’t stress enough how important it is for people of like mind to encourage and nourish each other in our quest for authenticity within our own lives.
      I liked your term “seeker” because it is how most of us who share the same values must be, and it struck a familiar chord within me.
      It is a never-ending process. Thoreau once wrote “In dealing with the Truth we are immortal”.
      Replies such as yours convince me that it is all worthwhile…my “note in a bottle” was received by a kind soul who appreciated it, and return it in like manner.
      Correct Dharma-Action strengthens us all.
      Chazz Vincent

      • Chazz, this is why I cherish this means of communication so much for when I cross paths with a like minded individual, I feel like a kid in a candy shop! I don’t get this in “real life” believe me. I keep putting out to the Universe that YES I am SO grateful for these like minded people who are present in my daily walk in flesh and blood, yet … those like minded have been found here on WP. And it is here we encourage one another and talk, and listen, exchanging ideas and thoughts, with great relief that we truly are not alone. This is a never ending process for the seeker questions and pushes, and does not stop even when that one realizes that what was “thought” to be truth, no longer holds true as the world tilts and shifts and that one finds quicksand under foot instead of solid ground. Oh, yes, this journey is not for the faint of Heart, not by a long shot.
        I’ve been thinking about organizations since reading your post early this morning. In order to have “order” there has to be organization of some kind, yet one based on Love and Harmony. I keep visualizing communities where all coexist as ONE. Am I remembering another place, another realm, another “time”? I do not know. Yet seeing the prevelant darkness that has descended on this earth, when I perceive the piercing of Light I get excited and my Hope flairs as a result that it is possible for humans to coexist in Peace and Love and Harmony. I’m not even able to find that in my own personal life for I seem to rub so many wrong as I insist I keep walking in Peace and Love. I just wrote a post asking, is the reason why so many are afraid of Love is because when you Love you embrace the Light and in so doing, you must face your own inner darkness? I cannot conceive of any other way to live then to be REAL, without games, without conditions, free to BE who I was created to BE. What is the point of all these charades? Sometimes I see too much, things that people don’t see, and man, it’s ugly. Even with this, I continue to focus on Beauty knowing as I do, I reinforce and strengthen the energy called Love and weakening fear.
        Anyways … gee, I could talk to you all day. Just picturing you at my kitchen table drinking coffee with me, jabbering away, makes me smile. And this smile stays as I go about my day today, continuing my Fall cleaning. Thank you for connecting with me today, Chazz. It’s been a real JOY!!! Love, Amy ❤

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