Archive for October, 2015

OVERCOME

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Love, Poetry on October 19, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

Ten thousand yesterdays pass beneath the wheel.

The slightest reminder triggers

both tears of joy

and sadness.

This wonderful, blissed existence…

Vignettes of spaces and time,

like pearls on a string.

each marked by a unique ambience…

Sweet, sweat and feelings so thick you can smell them,

even taste them

in the air between us.

upon which we ride

giant waves and gentle swells

of Understanding;

thoughts, ideas

and words

passed between us

like

saliva

or even

saltier

sweetnesses

shared freely…

engulfing some

and savoring others.

Tall, open-faced waves

of Satsang

rising up from a placid, tranquil sea.

Each scene has a coming

and a going.

And make no mistake;

the goings were so

exquisitely painful

as to have made it worth

it All

just to have Known You

at all

Perfect Film Noire.

All of it; the whole

scene that my life

was engulfed

in…that night

or any other;

when we said good-by,

knowing it was the last time…

both pretending it wasn’t.

…as I sat there smiling,

with mixed emotions

watching you walk away,

still salaciously

enjoying

and musing over your form

right up to the end…

of you and me;

the end of the story,

the last chapter…

Punto Finale.

Incredible highs

crushing lows

and nowhere to hide

from myself

except

In You.

Where shall I go?

A couple thousand yesterdays pass

and it happens again;

new script

new location

different story

same ending.

I try to convince myself

that I’m OK

that I will survive.

I disconnect

and move on,

dragging this sack of tears,

afraid to breathe

for fear of

breaking it…

setting loose the grieving postponed,

but never addressed…

“Après moi, le déluge

(or so I thought…)

How do I step away from you

and not loose touch

with

who I was and what I did

when

we first met?

Were those feelings not your own?

Just as mine?

Those images of us and who we were;

what we did and how we did it.

Can’t we keep them in a special place

of each our own?

Here and Now,

they all come together,

the joy and the grief alike

as if I’d just released

a box of stars

from captivity…

juxtaposed

and balanced

against each other in

Dissonance and Harmony;

Polyrhythmic Polyphonous

Symphony combined.

Judging Nothing.

Disdaining Nothing.

Here nothing is sacred or profane

as it suddenly becomes so clear

how every single moment

was leading up to this:

Ten thousand yesterdays

balanced against

only this one moment

with the anticipation of

Ten Thousand Tomorrows

not guaranteed, but

give or take a few…

maybe just a chance

to finally get it all right

at the same time.

Please just know

that I Know

that you did the right thing….

“Water seeks it’s

own level.”

Each of our lives is

” a Movable Feast”

Graze where you will.

You at yours

and me at mine.

All things return to the one.

and

She is with me now

as we approach

Zero.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/18/2015

 

 

If Only We Knew…

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Crossing the Abyss, Much Too Good For Children, The Liberation Through Hearing on October 18, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

If you had another ten thousand tomorrows,

what would you like to do?

What would you hope to have?

What will you need?

How do you hope you will feel?

Do you have any idea

how you are going

to accomplish this?

Suppose…

it was only a thousand more days….

What would you finish?

What would you start?

I hope you already know.

You may need to know soon….

(You will need to eventually.)

…or maybe not….

We have no idea.

We could be in the path

of a collision course

with an on-coming

frieght train…

or maybe not.

I have no more idea

than you do.

…probably.

How would you live

if you only had

one day?

How would you live if you thought you

would never die?

So here is my semi-rhetoical question:

In reconsideration of

the above-listed

rhetorical questions…

What are you going to do today?

How do you feel about it?

Do you believe

it is already

out of your control?

Why?

What?

How?

Do you think

you need to decide

what to do about it?

Do you believe

that you are powerless?

Even the Submissive

can exploit the

Ways of Power

and Majick.

Find your way.

Do what you love to do

first.

The rest will at least

seem

to come

a great deal easier

that way.

All by itself.

Like the spring rains

and the fish that swim

in and out of the lagoon

with the tide.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/18/2015

 

How do I Feel? (revisited)

Posted in Buddhism, Confessions of a Mad Philosopher, Escape Velocity, Post-Neo Dharma Bum, The Liberation Through Hearing, this thing we do with words, Zen, Zen on October 14, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

How do I Feel about my World Today?

Who is Asking the Question?

Today’s Mantra.

Before I get in touch with My Gratitude, I feel the need to assess my current condition in terms that better lend themselves to self awareness as a way of exercising the Ever Questioning Mind.

Something to gnaw on while doing T’ai-Chi Ch’uan perhaps.

Once you see the illusion of life as well as its impermanence as we experience the Folly of it all, it is easier to choose which path to take at any given moment, as one might a hat or a pair of shoes.

This is not to rule out emotional considerations. They are a part of the equation, just not all of it.

I just ran across an old quote by Kurt Vonnegut. He was giving advice on how to write and called the semi-colon(s) “Transexual Hermaphrodites”. …as if that was something bad…at least that’s the way most of the critics of the day viewed it; however, only one source I found noted that his next statement was that in case no one knew if he was kidding, “…from now on, I’ll tell you when I am kidding.”

There is excitement in illusion, in intrigue and in the commission of The Act (whatever it is).

Kurt would not like my works, I think. Most of his advice goes completely against the way I write. OK, I get that.

I think I like the semi-colon more than ever, viewing it in the light Vonnegut suggests; and I also disagree that one cannot fragment and creatively use words in the fashion that John Coltrane or Pablo Picasso might with notes or paint. James Joyce already did that in Finnegan’s Wake, after all.

I want the reader to feel like they fell down the rabbit hole. (That’s where all the good [fun] stuff is).

By the time they reach the bottom they will have everything they need to know to figure it out for themselves…of course, they already do… even if they don’t know they know it yet.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/14/2015

 

 

 

How do I Feel?

Posted in Buddhism, Crossing the Abyss, inspiration, Post-Neo Dharma Bum, Zen on October 14, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

How do I Feel about my World Today?

Then ask Why? seven times….

(Kaizen.)

Who is Asking these Questions?

And who answers?

Today’s Mantra…maybe.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/14/2915

 

 

 

On Letting Go, Part XI: Blame and Excuses

Posted in adversity, Letting Go, LONGREAD, Sapience, Sentience with tags on October 10, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our intentions.

How many people do you know who would describe themselves as satisfied in terms of their lives?

The paradigm that seems to drive many people’s lives is “One’s grasp should exceed their reach.”

I am no stranger to the concept, but I have seriously marred some of the best stages or phases of my life due to my inability to remember to smell the roses while I am still in the garden.

No matter what I am in the midst of doing or trying to achieve, I am infused with this sense of Angst and Frustration because I find it very difficult to enjoy the satisfaction of a job well done…because it will never be quite perfectly executed….and because there’s always more….

I have a way of focusing too much attention on some real or perceived hidden flaw or imperfection in my work, or the tapestry of my life as a film noire.

For as long as I can remember, it has been my artistic expressions, whether in Music, Art. Photography, Film, Video, Multi-Media, or Writing that have been the driving force in my life, my purpose…my raison d’être.

 

To me, the activities of daily living are more like watching the Dead doing the St. Vitus Dance to waves of endorphins and polypeptides.

My Love and Sex lives reflect the same preoccupation with artistic, philosophical and creative expression…(needless to say, often to the chagrin of those who aspire to love and understand me).

My attention seems forever drawn to what could be somewhere over the next hill.

Yet years later it will seem like a grand romantic adventure to which I wish I could return…so why am I so unhappy?

Many years ago, a very dear lifetime friend said “I sometimes think that even on the clearest and most perfect days, your attention will be drawn to a dark cloud off on the horizon, saying ‘…eventually, we are going to have to deal with that…’ “.

At the time, I took it as a compliment to my foresight and vision.

It wasn’t until years later that I realized that she was lamenting on how I could ruin a moment of bliss with pessimism and negativity.

I have known her almost all of my adult life. We started as lovers but her lifelong friendship is unique to my life experiences with the exception of my wife. Only one other female relationship (or marriage) has ever lasted for more than six years.

She is the most successful person I know, and seems to possess a quiet satisfaction that I envy, despite the fact that she is no stranger to tragedy or disappointment.

…But back to the original point.

Several decades ago, I found myself proclaiming that I felt that it was time to get serious about my life and make something of myself, and perhaps achieve the satisfaction of artistic and financial success, a vow I seem to be compelled to renew every few years.

Money comes, money goes; jobs come and jobs go, but the work of one’s life remains. For me, my Art is my Life.

With the exception of my current compulsion for writing, my creative life has been in a flat spiral ever since I became preoccupied by some measure of financial security (which was almost completely fear-based). It has left me broke and nearly despondent at times.

(Just as it seems as if the digressions will never end, the snake bites its own tail…the Uroburos returns….)

Although I have been frequently led astray by others, and distracted from my real or imagined goals and dreams, their part in the failed processes was minor, compared to my own incredibly bad judgment.

There is a word for sound judgment, and it is referred to as Sapience. It is the cognate from which the term homo sapiens is derived.

Without it, we are just a bunch of Talking Monkeys, and I am their spokesperson.

Whenever I find myself beset by “…a sea of troubles…” and contemplating how to “…put an end to them…”, I meditate.

This last time around, my focus was on “Who am I?…”Who is asking this question?”

I am the one who is tired of singing only torch songs.

I am the one who is tired of settling for less.

I am the one who is tired of doing things I do not love to do.

I am the one who is tired of withholding my candor to simply keep the peace I never seem to find anyway.

I am the one who is tired of not being myself, or not trusting the results of my own actions to take me where they will. Better to die gloriously in battle, roaring like a lion than to be led whimpering like a lamb to slaughter.

I am the one who vows to embrace the results.

If I blame anyone else for the dissatisfaction I feel, I am once again relinquishing control over my life. It is only in accepting responsibility for my present condition that I can exercise some degree of self-determination.

Excuse-mongering and blame are like a co-dependent dysfunctional couple who never seem to be able to stop making excuses for themselves and blaming each other for their own misery.

Next time you feel defensive and find yourself declaring that something was not your fault, better think again….

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, charted by unrealistic expectations and lined with lame excuses.

The I in Failure comes well before the U.

Of course it is always your own fault ultimately, whether it be a failed marriage, a career, or your dreams, but there are so many factors (aside from poor judgment) beyond your control from which there is No Escape that we might as well learn as early as possible to view our lives with enough Loving-Kindness and Acceptance to learn from our mistakes and move on to make new mistakes as we learn to forgive so we can forgive to learn.

However…when I was a rescue paramedic, more than once I heard statements like:

“There I was, just standing there minding my own business (in a bar, or on a street corner in Ft. Lauderdale or Key West)…and from out of nowhere, this guy comes up and….”

or:

“I was trying to reach the top shelf, but the chair wasn’t quite high enough, so I stacked a couple telephone books on top of each other and suddenly…”

or:

“No I dont want to press charges…he was just drunk…I know he loves me and he’s the father of two of my children, and I got no place else to go…it was my fault for nagging him about losing his job…” (for being drunk) “…and I don’t work…because…and….”

Who hasn’t heard: “I just have so much love to give…I can’t understand why I am so alone.”

(Much of it is not beyond our control.)

I’ve heard it said that at least seventy-five per cent of what happens to us is random; whether you were born a Kennedy or an orphan in Calcutta is beyond your control, but it is what you do with the other twenty-five per cent that determines what will become of each of us.

I have a strong suspicion that it is our past and present Karma that determines the first seventy-five per cent. We just don’t recognize the connection.

The dog chases the bone.

It is said that the elephant is the only animal that can remember all of his past lives, and stands alone contemplating his Karma.

There are no good excuses, and blame is what distracts us from that realization. It is the difference between fault-finding and trouble-shooting.

The sooner you learn to forgive yourself, the easier it is to forgive others and accept responsibility for your life and your condition.

You don’t have to be kind, but you don’t have to be cruel either.

Just be real.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/09/2015

 

 

 

 

UNLIMBITED TREE SERVICE, INC.

Unlimbited Tree Service was started with one goal in mind: To enhance the beauty and value of residential and commercial properties while ensuring the safety of their occupants. With Unlimbited, you know that you're getting the very best.

Book 'Em, Jan O

Ghosts, Tall Tales & Witty Haiku!

nita0216blog

NITA'S WORLD OF INSPIRATION

$o Close But Yet So Far Away

Passion,Dreams,Singing,Love

Open Thought Vortex

Literary Magazine for Open Hearts and Minds

simple Ula

I want to be rich. Rich in love, rich in health, rich in laughter, rich in adventure and rich in knowledge. You?

NSP GoStranger

~ Poems,Novels and Life Events..

❣Emotional Queen👑

🎭दो चेहरें हैं,दो लहज़े हैं मेरे...और हर सवाल के दो जवाब "एक मैं जो लिखती हूँ दूजा तुम जो जानते हो"!! 👑Queen Of My Own Thought❣ #MyBlogMyFeeling

Analbarbie.

Meine Lust am Leben!

Death, The Life Story

Tracing a life through stories of death. Sometimes funny, sometimes not.

Chaotic Shapes

Art and Lifestyle by Brandon Knoll

Masturbation Monday

Where getting off is half the fun...

Lyfes Poetry

BLog Hard Or Go Home

stormy musings

Whatever, whenever

Nature Art

Photography, Creative Writing & Art by SAJIA AFRIN

Broken roads of Destiny

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” — Maya Angelou

An Obvious Oblivion Blog

🍃 Fully Living The Unfinished Things Of Life Through Writings. 🍃

Living to help other disabled people, and people in need, Change the sign!! And Earth

I been online since 1994. I seen the internet at its finest. Then the World joined and fucked it up

Blog Femme & Infos

"La mode sans vulgarité"

latinagrrl177

daily life in a family of 8.....

Felicity Johns

This site is rated for MA audiences only.

Peri şair karanfilli

Nefesime,hayatıma,aklıma esen her şeye dair.

Too much Too soon

Live rat race

cakeordeathsite

What would you choose?

The Over The Line Show / Podcast 42

The OTL Podcasting Network

CinnamonAndSparkles

If I had a power color, it would be sparkle. Landon Brinkley

Diary of a Married Woman

Power Exchange and Letting Go........

A Boy and Her Dog

Traversing the Border between Butch and Transgender

freeing excalibur

He who holds the sword, owns my heart

Analbarbie.de - meine Blogfavoriten!

Analbarbie - Bei diesen Blogs lese ich gerne mit!

Meine Musik^^.

Ich liebe Musik ... kann ohne nicht sein! Hier gibts alles über meine Favoriten.

Ingwerlatte reloaded. Leben und leben lassen!

(Vive et vivere sine)² - Leben und leben lassen!

The Chrysanthemum and The Sword

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” “Even a sheet of paper has two sides.”

Molly's Daily Kiss

A Kiss is Just a Kiss -

olivia submits

...the journey continues

toraprincess

a married woman's journey into D/s

Christina Strigas

You can't break up with a soul mate

The Art Of Fearless Living

Being afraid is human, but staying afraid is a choice.

Milenanik3's Blog

Just another WordPress.com weblog

vinnieh

Movie reviews and anything else that comes to mind