It has been far too long since I visited these pages…maybe you noticed, maybe you didn’t.
I’m no stranger to the Rabbit Hole…in fact, for me it is more like the Tunnel of Love, considering how much I crave to continue so far into unfamiliar territory that I completely lose track of how to return home.
I remember when I first read Lewis Carroll’s stories. As a child, the idea terrified me…to never be able to find one’s way back, but eventually it became a fixation.
I complete the Rabbit Hole…the Rabbit Hole completes me.
The Rabbit Hole is supposed to trap fools like me with nowhere else better to go.
Who knew Rabbit Holes could turn into Worm Holes?
So if you were one of the ones who noticed my extended hiatus from this site, all I can say is that it was secondary to what I call BBD 101 (Basic Buddhist Doctrine: [the survey course]):
⦁ If you are Hungry, eat.
⦁ If you are Thirsty, drink.
⦁ If you are tired, rest.
⦁ Even Cause and Effect are coincidental.
⦁ If you do not think that your own mind can produce The Poison Thought that can completely unravel your present concept of sanity, then you are not exploring it to your fullest potential.
⦁ Do not fear The Madness; that kind of fearful thinking will just make you crazy.
(OK. OK. OK…I added the last three, based on a series of possibly incorrect interpretations of Quantum Theory, and several long-standing preoccupations.)
So if you find yourself thinking that…“I’m not sure we’re Quantum Physics kind of people around here”…or: “As a recovering Lutheran, I’m not sure that this is going to be any kind of help or consolation”, all I can say is that first of all, we all are, even if we don’t know it, and yes, it won’t be….
I am currently formulating a series of internal dialogues focused upon doing things that either negate or sufficiently distract myself from anything I’d rather not be doing, but nevertheless find myself mired for no real good reason save my desire to live indoors and not eat out of dumpsters.
My plan is not retirement, but more of a lateral move that would allow me to freelance in order to provide sufficient funds to be able to live in the manner I would prefer.
To do that, one has to separate what is necessary from what is not; what is preferred to what would ideally be eschewed; to decide what I really want beyond what I need.
My “Cabin in the Woods” is lavishly opulent compared to Thoreau’s overgrown tool shed On Walden Pond, but all things taken on balance, I probably lack either his dedication, strength of character, or principles, although I have always vowed to escape the “lives of quiet desperation” led by most of my associates.
As always, it is the journey, not the destination that matters most; after all, none of us are going to get out of this alive…so if the pursuit of happiness becomes oppressive, obsessive, or overwhelming, then the chances are you are either on the wrong path, using the wrong methods, or pursuing something other than happiness.
And so it goes that upon reading a post regarding taking action within one’s life, after re-blogging it, I set upon a goal of re-establishing a personal relationship with my first and best muse, which is Music.
She has inspired me, buoyed my spirits, provoked me to thought and action, and protected me like armor against the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune” and given me the courage to carry on.
She can be a cool and gentle confidante, a passionately consuming lover, or a cruel mistress, but no matter how far I go or how long I turn my back on her, she gives me what no one else can.
Just one note can captivate my attention no matter how hard I try to pretend not to be distracted. Two notes can transport me beyond this physical plane. The right series of notes, properly phrased and resolved into an unexpected chord or change of key can do things that no drug has ever accomplished for me.
(And believe me, I’ve tried….)
Moreover, the right song, the right lyrics, the right harmonies with the right instruments, and the right singer at just the right time can be as good as the best sex with a long-lost lover that you just met again once in a life time, especially if I am one of the performing musicians in this orgy of sound.
Of late I have found it comforting to surround myself with a circle of protection within a set of earbuds powered by an old i-phone. I currently have almost three days of continuous music of my choice. No matter whether I am at work, in the grocery store, or driving, she is on my shoulder, and in my ears, brain, and soul.
The rabbit hole was Zen. The worm hole was Quantum Theory. Music painted a picture for my ears that showed me my one true face, then took me by the hand to lead me back to my original home.
Zen posed questions with no answers. Quantum Theory teaches us that to even observe the outcome of any possible number of possible phenomena may alter their results; that in a multiverse, all manner of possible outcomes may be occurring at the same time in parallel dimensions.
Somehow, both the paradigms of Zen and Quantum Theory fold back upon each other reinforcing both sentient and logical belief systems while Music alone nurtures my emotional needs in ways that even enhance my ability to love and be loved.
Eventually, anything can happen….
Atoms are as empty and void as deep space, and Dark Matter balances an equation that was nonetheless by necessity unbalanced during the first nanoseconds of the Big Bang; otherwise the whole event would have been an infinitesimally short hiccup of existence cancelled by itself.
No one even knows if in fact just that sort of hiccup may have happened many, many times until the necessary imbalance occurred between matter and dark matter that allowed our universe to unfold and expand.
And it would also seem, that indeed we are each at the center of the universe, no matter where we are or where we go.
Our entire existence was an outcome of infinite improbability, but we had all the time that did not exist before that moment for it to occur, so it was inevitable….
Eventually, in about four trillion years (our time), we will again cease to exist, but there will be no sorrow over it, with no one left to mourn our passing.
“No Matter…No Matter.”
Even absolute nothingness is a very unstable state however, so eventually, something will inevitably come out of it.
(Quantum Theory tells me so.)
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is…”
Oh, and BTW: I am currently balls-deep in research for a new novel entitled: “Once Upon a Blue Agave Moon.” As usual, you will see it here first, chapter by chapter as the narrative unfolds.
(And still for free, just like “Dancing in Dreamland”, or “The Home for Wayward Souls and The Talking Monkeys”, due to my inertia regarding electronic publishing.)
It is a story of what I call “Self Determinism”. It will undoubtedly have some sexy parts, but who knows?
In the spirit of “Enhanced and Fortified Non-Fiction” there will be some resemblances to events or activities that may or may not have in fact been either witnessed or participated in or by the author, in the spirit of authentic participatory journalism, but balanced by local, state, and federal statutes, jurisprudence, jurisdictions, and a deep and abiding desire to avoid incarceration while still providing vicarious involvement devoid of risk to the readers as “Entertainment as well as intellectual and philosophical education for and by consenting adults…” (or some such crap).
(Great…Just when most of the statutes of limitations regarding many of the events and activities described in “Dancing in Dreamland” were about to run out….)
I’ve been a bit obsessed most of my life with pushing the envelope regarding Art, Music, Philosophy, Spirituality, Sexuality and Human Behavioral Norms, as well as Civil Rights and Liberties; somewhere between an Anarchist and a Libertarian, I dance on The Razor’s Edge, Between Nothingness and Eternity.
This next novel will be no exception.
Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent
PS: I am deeply indebted to Dr. Lawrence Krauss, Douglas Adams, Lewis Carroll and Henry David Thoreau for the wisdom and inspiration they have provided me. I highly recommend reading all of them.
Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent
01/31/2016
dreamlanddancing 