Archive for March, 2017

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: All Things Return to the One

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Liason Between Parties, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon on March 31, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

Chapter Thirteen, Part Four

Rebecca was the real wild card of the trio. She was unknown to Jed, Elliott, or either Amy or Leigh-Anne back when they all knew each other, and at first, Elliott was unnerved by her sudden reappearance. He could think of no obvious explanation as to her connection to them and her presence within the group initially seemed contrived, until he finally put the pieces of the puzzle together.

Most everyone who knew her well called her “Rebel”, but her real name (or at least one of them) was Jeanette Rogers.

Although she and Amy shared the same surname, they could not have possibly been less likely to be related. She had used almost a dozen different aliases over the years, (including her screen name) but she had confided to Elliott that Rogers was her genuine birth name.

She grew up dirt-poor in rural Virginia and had almost no formal education, but loved to read just about anything that caught her surprisingly wide range of interests, although she refused to lose her trademark Southern drawl or her country pride and roots.

Elliott had befriended her at a time when no one else would; when he had no idea that she was in fact slightly rich and formerly famous. She was even more mystified that he made no effort to try to fuck her.

Unfortunately everyone else in her life at that time wanted something from her and drugs, sex and money seemed to be the only way she knew to get people to take her seriously or pay attention to her.

Not that he didn’t want to; he just was in no hurry and at least initially didn’t think he should take advantage of her misfortune and vulnerability.

Besides, he could sense her cynicism and suspicion and knew well enough that that if he didn’t live down to her lowest expectations, she would undoubtedly consider it a challenge.

He was right, of course.

Elliott really had no idea about how famous Rebel really had been, until weeks later, while he was at a video rental store that also maintained an “adult” section in the back when he asked the owner if he had ever heard of her.

It turned out that she had developed such a following (including the store owner) that after she left the business, another actress started using her screen name, despite the fact that they bore absolutely no resemblance to each other.

It turned that she had not only been featured in over two dozen films in which she had starred, but she had also done many appearances with most of the biggest names (and cocks) in the business.

If you cross-referenced her screen name during the time that she was using it, she came up in over one hundred titles.

She later told Elliott that she considered him one of the few real friends she had and the only one whom she trusted.

She had made and lost quite a fortune and reputation in the Adult Film Industry before she walked out on all of it. Ironically, it was Rebel who was the most modest about anyone seeing her nude body, although she was rightly proud of the beautiful single-needle Cholo-style monochrome Tree of Life tattoo that covered her entire back.

Unfortunately, she had undergone one too many breast augmentation procedures, and the surgeries had resulted in irregularities of the surface of her skin that were not as unattractive as she thought they were, but considering she was used to being adored…more accurately, she got paid just to pretend that she so desperately needed to be adored, when in fact, what she did need was recognition, validation, support and encouragement.

Now she airbrushed original artwork on custom motorcycles, had her own tattoo parlor in Fort Lauderdale and raised champion pit bull dogs that provided her more than enough money to be able to live off of after she had wisely invested in a home that was paid for while working as a Porn Star.

All of this, was of course before the Armageddon Virus destroyed the World Banking System.

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: All Things Return to the One, chapter thirteen

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Imp Of The Perverse, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 31, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

Part Three

 

Jed was playing with Rebecca’s dog when Leigh-Anne called to him to come over to meet Chiana.

Mordecai was a mixture of Staffordshire Terrier, Blue Tick Hound, Mastiff, and American Pit Bull. He was at a stable weight of seventy six  pounds, and looked like he had been sculpted from sandstone.

Hanging by his jaws to a very thick piece of hawser, Jed hoisted Mordecai while he performed a series of perfect bicep curls, one after another as the dog growled ferociously and shook his  entire body like a fish being hoisted from the water.

Jed then began to slowly spin on a fixed axis as he steadily increased the speed of his spin as Mordecai, still orbiting around Jed held on even more stubbornly until the dog’s legs left the ground, thrown by centrifugal force upwards until he was parallel to the ground.

Hearing his name, he quickly slowed down to hear what  Leigh-Anne had to say, as both of them were already taking bold strides forward in Leigh-Anne’s direction as soon as the dog’s feet touched the ground.

Not waiting to have Leigh-Anne introduce them, Jed make a distinct point of being the first one to extend his hand to Chiana as his said: ‘Hello Chiana, my name is Jed. It is indeed a pleasure to finally meet you. Leigh-Anne says that you two knew each other, from years ago years after…well, let’s just say when people used to say…”back in the day”… and well, just  let it go at that….?”

His voice trailed off as he found himself staring into Chiana’s dark eyes while the faintest hint of a glint, or near a glimmer of a gleem began between them as it flashed on both of their faces, and it progressed from smile to grin that just ever so slightly relaxed as they both recognized what was passing between them, acknowledged its existence, and then lovingly pulled back, just to acknowledge their honorable intentions, and let it go.

They both pulled back as they shifted their weight sightly behind themselves until almost all of their entire weight rested on their right foot, resting on the ball, as if to feign some degree of suspicion, each turning their heads to an almost unnoticeable shift of the angle of their faces, like a dog watching television, puzzled.

And speaking  of dogs, it was about at that point when Mordecai jumped between them, but if they hadn’t known better, Jed and Chiana would have both sworn that it was in defense of Chiana, not Jed.

He even turned his back on Jed, as he very politely sat down and offered his paw to Chiana, tail wagging enthusiastically.

 

Chazz Vincent

03/30/2017

 

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: All Things Return to the One

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Liason Between Parties, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 31, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

Chapter Thirteen, Part Two

Leigh-Anne was a nursing student when she and Elliott met. They were incredibly close for several years and were really crazy for each other, but oddly, neither one ever referred to the other as a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”.

Recently divorced, she was still struggling with balancing her new-found independence vs. companionship and affection. Although they were well-matched in intellect, disposition, and sexual appetites, they always seemed to pair off with someone else from their circle of friends and lovers, only to eventually find themselves back in each other’s arms…or bed.

They both seemed afraid to become a “couple” because they never wanted to have to break up. Years later, Elliott admitted he was slightly intimidated by her.

He knew he had a tendency to engage in outrageous behaviors that usually would drive women out of his life, and it was clear that Leigh-Anne was not willing to be a victim again. More than once she had used Elliott as a “booty-call” if she suddenly found herself alone too late to call anyone else, and he was only too happy to oblige her.

She was bolder and more fearless than most at a time when Elliott had considered the adjective “shameless” to be a genuine compliment, but she seemed immune to infatuation and its concomitant crush, so they developed a deep a abiding friendship (with benefits) long before the term became en vogue, and neither of their significant others acknowledged or understood it.

Elliott knew she would not put up with the kind of bullshit to which he regularly subjected a number of the women in his life, (including Amy) and because he was afraid of loosing her, he could never “seal the deal” and commit, so one day she just walked back into and out of his life like a cool breeze.

Amy had already left Miami for parts unknown, and Leigh-Anne had just come back from an extended vacation. She dropped by, but suddenly apologized that she had only come by to see if she could in fact remain faithful to one man; since Elliott was her “litmus test”, she announced that she was going back out west to get married.

On a certain level, he was flattered, but he was far from pleased.

A few weeks later, he decided to go on the road with a reggae band and didn’t come back for almost eighteen months.

This was about six months after Jed had gotten married; Leigh-Anne was not invited to either the wedding or the reception, even though Elliott was, despite Patty’s objections.

Apparently, Jed put his foot down about inviting Elliott, his best friend, but at the expense of not inviting Leigh-Anne because Jed had made the mistake of admitting to his fiancée that he had “once” slept with her (which was a gross understatement, unless he meant “once upon a time”).

Elliott always believed she would be back someday. Now, years after he had given up on such a hopelessly romantic fantasy, it looked like they might at least have the chance to get some kind of closure…or….?

They lost touch with each other for several years, but he always thought…(perhaps hoped was a better word), that somehow they would get the chance to resolve this unfinished business between them.

Over the years, when they did meet, he learned that she had not only gotten her MSN, but had become quite successful, married well, and had raised her children.

Elliott sensed that the honeymoon was definitely over, but beyond that, he had no clue. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her husband; it was more a matter of being able to see beyond  being someone else’s ideal of the perfect wife, and NO ONE was going to tell her what she could or could not do, including visit “old boyfriends”.

Once her children were gone, she began to travel farther and farther from home for longer times more and more frequently…until the money disappeared.

She could have chosen to sequester herself in their desert home, which was paid for and very well appointed and supplied. She was already prepared for that.

She had experienced a few apocalyptic visions years before, when she and Elliott were close, and they had discussed “what if” almost as if they already knew that something would eventually happen, one way or another.

But when it did, and with a vengeance, safety and security no longer occupied her top priorities. Instead she saw it as an opportunity to experience something dangerous firsthand, as if the world was new again, and it was all happening for the first time.

She had witnessed some of the most dark nights of the soul that Elliott had ever experienced, but wasn’t that surprised hearing that Elliott seemed to have wrangled his way back into the catbird’s seat but had no idea what to expect when she got there.

Elliott had welcomed the leveling effect that the Armageddon Virus had on the world in many ways, and he believed that Leigh-Ann somehow had found a way to leave her comfort zone in style, with sense of class, and with power.

For the first time in over a decade however, he knew he would not feel like a bum when he was around her. They would be on level ground, eye-to-eye, but most importantly, neither one of them would be encumbered by any prohibitions by their significant others as to how far they would choose to take their familiarity and curiosity.

For the first time…ever.

Elliott figured it was probably best to assume that she would not be interested, act accordingly and let her take it to the next step, if that was what she wanted.

After all, that was essentially how it had worked between them from the start. And it would be a win/win no matter what the outcome.

Now that self-sufficiency was more valuable than money, she was self-empowered. But most importantly of all, he trusted her…he always had.

They were never a couple, never broke up per se and yet he knew he still felt more than a little sentimental about whatever it was that they had shared.

Elliott had always tried to be close with at least one nurse or doctor who for whatever reason, chose to take the less-traveled road thereby making themselves accessible to him when he might need them.

From injections to bullet wounds, the ones who weren’t afraid to break, or at least bend the rules seemed to gravitate to Elliott, who was regarded as a something of a fixer who could make things either appear, or disappear when needed, whose only regard for the laws of men was to not get caught.

Some people might be inclined to regard Elliott as opportunistic, but with his reckless judgement, he needed all the help he could get.

He used to consider the company of attorneys in much the same light, but ever since this New-Age Apocalypse had effectively rendered all laws null and void, attorneys were of little use, except as part of the food chain, or blood sport, unless they had somehow managed to leverage some sort of power, or something of perceived value, since few of them were especially adept at the sort of survival skills that determined REAL POWER in a world where wealth and privilege had evaporated overnight.

 

Chazz Vincent

03/30/2017

 

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: All Things Return to the One

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 31, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

Chapter Thirteen, part one

Our perception of Time, as invented by the Mind, completely distorts how we regard our world, and these inventions of our minds have enslaved us to both Regret and its corollary, Fear, but without  getting lost in the explanation, consider how pliant and variable it would have seemed in this situation.

While waiting in anticipation for the arrival of Jedidiah and his companions, Time seemed to be almost at a standstill, and yet if he had the luxury of a week to prepare himself he could not have possibly anticipated what he would see or the results of their arrival.

Einstein had correctly postulated that both Time and Space are curved, and the effects of Gravity and Velocity further distort what the Mind has led us to believe is fixed and constant, but that is a matter for another time and place if you will pardon the expression; it is mentioned here only as a prelude.

Twenty years is in most cases, is more or less one quarter of a human lifetime, barring the effects of stress, trauma, toxins, proper nutrition and maintenance, (or the lack thereof), yet it seems to pass in the twinkling of an eye.

Yet in terms of the evolution of Life on this planet, Man’s entire sentient existence of approximately fifty thousand years is minuscule, compared to the one hundred and seventy-five million years that dinosaurs ruled the earth, which is further dwarfed by the geological age of the Earth, which is much shorter than the age of Mars, or Jupiter, etc…by Ahhh! how I do digress….

They rode up on four very large, fully customized motorcycles and one sidecar with a dog in it.

The sound was deafening; with scavenger exhausts and no mufflers, by the time they finally shut down their engines the silence seemed to scream in protest.

As they got off their bikes, they all just stood there for more than a minute, as they surveyed each other. It really had been a long time, but as they stood there assessing each other, looking for the glimmers of recognition of each other, they all began to grin, shake their heads, and began to laugh before they rushed in on each other in an impromptu group hug.

They took turns hugging and kissing each other, laughing until they thought they would cry.

There was something about the way each of them looked to each other, having carried around a mental snapshot of each other that was twenty years old, what they now saw seemed to tell a story about each of them, crow’s feet, character lines, a few grey hairs and all.

Amy was the first to speak.

“Well, boss, you always said we would meet up again someday, and frankly, I thought you were full of shit, but by God, here we are again, and I’m damn glad you were right….”

Leigh-Anne broke in. “All it took was a complete melt-down of the entire world’s culture and infrastructure to do it…tell the truth, did you have anything to do with it, just to get us back in touch?”

Jed suddenly blurted out “Well, if I had known that was all it took, I probably would have done it myself.”

Rebel finally got off her bike and unleashed her dog in time to say “So what’s up, Doc?” She had accidentally given him the nickname “Doc” one day when they were getting very high together after he had finished a night shift in the ER.

She just blurted it out before she thought about Buggs Bunny’s signature phrase, and they had suddenly broken into hysterical laughter at the incongruity of it, which probably was not as funny as it seemed at the time, but the intravenous Demerol made it seem funny as fuck, and she decided right then and there that “Doc” would be her nickname for him because she hated the name Elliott and told him that the first time she met him.

Not to be outdone, whenever she called him Doc, he called her Lola, after Bugs Bunny’s girlfriend. Everybody else thought it was a reference to the Kink’s song by the same title, except him and her.

And yes, you really did have to be there to appreciate it…but that was the beauty of it…they both were there at the time, and it was  moment that transcended attempts to explain or re-create it later, but like a secret handshake or a password spoken between covert agents, that moment was their’s and their’s alone.

Amy was a little bit gaunt, and very tan. She had quite large, pendulous breasts that looked that much more impressive on her slender frame, despite her rather wide and squared shoulders. She looked like she had become something of an exercise queen because her skin was quite taught and her muscles rippled as she moved.

Then Elliot noticed the tattoos that covered most of Amy’s arms, that hinted at the fact that there were probably more elsewhere…and then it hit him like a slap to the face as Rebel walked up and put her arms around Amy’s waist…

That’s the connection! The tattoos! It was obvious that Amy was the link between Rebel and the rest of the group. He also sensed that they were very close friends, which, as he thought about it, made sense.

“Nice ink! Where did you get it done?”

“My shop.” Rebel said as she pulled Amy a little bit closer, and Amy winked at Elliott.

“We got to talking about crazy motherfuckers we had known…”  Rebel continued “…and loved…” interjected Amy “…  “…and guess who’s name came up?” They finished the sentence together, and broke into laughter.

Rebel went on in her slow, seductive drawl that seemed sometimes as if she would never finish her sentences. “We began to realize that we had a lot more in common than just tattoos…and your cock…” “…and Jed…” Amy added.

They were beginning to finish each other’s sentences, like Popeye’s nephews. Elliott realized that it was incredibly erotic just to imagine…they had shared more than a few women together over the years, and Amy sometimes used Elliott as bait to  “turn” a woman that hadn’t realized her bisexual urges…yet.

Amy was the prototype of the “genius waitress”. She spoke at least three languages fluently, held degrees in art history and anthropology, and while she was working on her degree in psychology, she either worked as a bartender or a waitress. She could, and often did just about anything that came her way as long as it paid well enough to let her follow her own star and dance to her own tune.

She originally came from a very affluent upper-middle-class family in North Miami Beach but became the black sheep about the time that she and Elliott fell in love and ran off together.

“My parents are probably turning over in their graves right now.” Amy confided. “…and not just about the tattoos, but then again, I never really wanted to be buried in a Jewish cemetery anyway.”

“Oh yeah…and that quote that I always thought was yours…” Rebel added.

“If I had it to do all over again, I’d do it all over you!” (This time, in unison, as they put their foreheads together and rubbed noses.)

Amy had not lost her gift for theatrics. She knew that Elliott would be unable to resist the two of them. It had been a characteristic defining feature of their relationship most of the time that the were dating or living together.

But Elliott had learned a thing or three over the years….

He was intensely aware of Chiana’s presence as she stood apart from the group, analyzing and assimilating the Gestalt of it. He knew that she would be determined not to be jealous or judgmental if she could help it, but he also knew that ignoring her the minute another woman…let alone two women wiggled their “charms” under his nose like a frog swimming in front of a bass would be monumentally insensitive and stupid, even by his standards.

“Look, Honey…remember Leigh-Anne? She came to visit us shortly after we moved to Lauderhill…Where are my manners? How are you?…I mean, considering the whole world nearly went down the drain two years ago…You look well…how long has it been since the last time the three of us were together?…”

Elliott was not immune to babbling like a fool when he felt awkward or stressed, and Chiana actually felt a little sorry for him, because she knew what he was trying to do because he cared deeply for her; because he was determined not to give her any excuses for feeling jealous or threatened, even though she already knew how hard it would be to not get overwhelmed by Amy and Rebel’s seductively strong tractor beam.

Leigh-Anne was less inclined to engage in theatrics of any kind, and infinitely more subtle in the process. Her strength was in her lack of pretense, and discretion. She had managed to enjoy a deeply passionate relationship with Elliott at times when both of them were (more or less) exclusively involved with other people.

She also recognized the fact that Elliott had matured more than even he realized, and appreciated that he didn’t just let Amy and Rebel steal the show before the curtain even opened, and she was genuinely glad to see that Elliott and Chiana were still together, and still in love.

She liked Chiana and had a feeling that they would probably bond in a way that would not create tension or discord between them. She was a very savvy businesswoman, and recognized that if this business venture was to succeed, they could not afford to let their first five minutes together turn into the “Hey Look at Me Show.”

Leigh-Anne had a mannerism that Elliott had found charming the first time he saw her do it. She would shift her weight from one foot to the other whether she was walking or standing still, and she would lead with her head as she did it, usually grinning and rolling her eyes.

Elliott was convinced she was not aware of it, because it at least appeared to be totally un-self consciously self-conscious.

As she sauntered up to Chiana she winked at her in a way that conveyed her understanding and empathy, almost ignoring Elliott in the process.

“Good to see you again, Chiana. Looks like you managed to figure out how to keep him happy and out of trouble. That’s certainly no easy task, and I’m glad to see that he finally realized that he needed somebody much better than himself to do it. You look well…is he behaving himself?”

 

“Most of the time…he wouldn’t be Elliott if he didn’t push the envelope, and then I would probably get bored if he got too predictable, although we both know that there is not much danger in that happening. I can’t tell you how glad I am to see that you are a part of this…whatever it is….”

“We’ll  talk later, after the children have gone to bed…I will tell you what my take on this is, and you can judge for yourself, but between Jed and Elliott’s talents and resources, I think that we can make this work.”

“I’ve never met Jed….”

“Well we need to correct that immediately! Jedidiah! Come over here and meet the only woman that could put up with the likes of Elliott for all these years.”

 

Chazz Vincent

03/30/2017

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: Daisy-Chain Ouroboros

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 29, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

Chapter Twelve

Each of the riders had different reasons for both craving and dreading this meeting.

Each had their own histories, much of which was muddled up in the midst of each other’s early stories…and make no mistake, there had been a certain degree of competitiveness between them as well, and yet they had remained friends.

Not “best friends forever”, at least not yet, although there was a time when they thought they would be; they just came and went as they  pleased, but they always came back…for awhile….

No real hard feelings…wild desires, lots of regrets, and some equally heart-warming and heart-breaking memories, but overall it seemed that destiny was busy proving that they belonged together again.

But the question remained as to why?….

One of the things that they all had shared was an appreciation for the beauty of tragedy in its most poignant aspects. They knew all too well that everything comes and goes according to its nature and season, and had witnessed it in each other’s lives as well as their own.

If ever there were three self-proclaimed “Alpha-Bitches” capable of maintaining their own integrity who could also co-operate and work as a team, it was Amy, Leigh-Ann, and Rebecca.

Jed and Elliott already knew that neither of them could imagine the other one betraying their friendship, despite the fact that Jed was now (at least probably) sleeping with one (or more) of Elliott’s former lovers.

Elliott was genuinely relieved that it was Jed who had brought them there, because without some sort of male escort, Elliott’s wife Chiana would have been unlikely to welcome them into their home…their world…the only world they knew of that was worth defending and maintaining.

It was also Jed who was the mastermind of this unlikely liaison and Elliott was at a loss to anticipate its explanation.

Elliott and Chiana  were openly polyamorous, and amazingly well-adjusted in terms of their sexuality, but it would be hard for Chiana to not feel at least a little insecure, considering she already knew how significant these people had been in a life he had lived long before they had ever met.

Jed could be intimidating just by his sheer charisma, and like Willie Loman, it seemed like all women wanted to fuck him and men just wanted to shake his hand and be his friend.

Leigh-Anne was the only woman who had slept with both of them “back in the day…”, but she had a way of seeming almost nonchalant about her relationship with either of them; that air of independence that she projected despite the fact that she loved them both made it all seem perfectly natural.

They had managed to keep any competitiveness  out of their friendship… had scrupulously avoided it, but Elliott didn’t even know why they had suddenly decided to arrive en masse at The Colony.

Of course, it wasn’t like they could call ahead for reservations….

Chiana realized that any opportunity for networking with people Elliott felt could be trusted was worth examining and reserved the option to express her displeasure if she got uncomfortable at any point in their meeting.

As they rode, and as he and Chiana waited at The Colony the tension grew higher and higher as each of them could feel the excitement coursing through their veins…it seemed like an eternity for such a short ride, and they were all becoming impatient, if not more than a little bit anxious.

Each of them wondered “…for how long this time?” 

“Maybe our time has come for all of us.”

They had each learned to embrace a certain degree of fatalism, and yet, these women had  liked Jed’s plan, (still unknown to Elliot) despite the fact that it had been so long ago when they had been a real part of each other’s lives.

Because of the most recent turn of events over the last two years, when Jed recruited them, they openly discussed the fact that this was not about romantic love; it is an extremely rare occurrence to abandon romantic love and still have something left after you go your separate ways, but they all had that in common.

When romantic love dies, one experiences the same sort of grieving that is experienced when someone close to you physically dies, but whenever Love comes into the picture, most people seem to have to engage in character assassination until they finally are able to let go, like the fox in the fabled “sour grapes.”

(And in some cases, they would probably prefer that their former Eternal Beloved  had in fact physically died….)

Through experience and acceptance of their present circumstances, they had been able to see Elliott and each other more objectively.

They had watched him suffer as one by one, his other love interests came and went, usually with vindictive and acrimonious results. They also were no strangers to disappointment and disillusionment themselves.

They were relieved to hear that Elliott had finally managed to maintain a stable relationship with anyone, let alone a twenty-year marriage and grown children.

It seemed that Elliott had become a bit more notorious than he realized, and undoubtedly more famous than he would have desired, but when Jed had heard stories about Elliott and the Fourteenth Colony he saw a way to bring them all back together that he hoped would work to everyone’s benefit.

They alone were able to love him as he was and accept who or what he wasn’t, and in so doing they had each allowed a very small crack to open in the door that protected their hearts, and like a bright ray of sunshine bursting into a room kept closed and dark for too long, it just seemed right.

Hope and Faith are what we believe in the absence of empirical evidence.

 

Chazz Vincent

03/29/2017

Labels can be Dangerous, but…

Posted in Appreciation, Jantor To The Temple Of The Holy of Holies, Random Observations on March 28, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

No woman

should ever be made to think

she is too old to be called a Girl,

or too young

to be treated like a Lady.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

03/27/2017

Time Zoned Out

Posted in Humor, Just For Fun, Random Observations, Sapience, Synchronicity on March 18, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

Last Sunday after I poured myself a cup of coffee, I sat down to wait for the drugs to take effect.

I remembered we were supposed to set the clocks ahead one hour last night to adjust for daylight savings time, which officially changed at three AM.

For no real reason other than synchronicity, I suddenly imagined a test question not unlike many we have struggled with over the years, except that it tests a different sort of knowledge than SAT’s or ASVAB’s.

Although the math is elementary, it is a very tricky question (unless you have ever lived in Terre Haute, for instance).

For what it is worth, here is the conundrum:

A man who lives in Terre Haute, Indiana decides to travel to Chicago for the weekend.

He leaves at five PM Eastern Standard time.

The trip from door to door takes approximately four hours. His watch reads Friday, nine PM when he arrives.

Because the “Illiana’” border is the dividing line between the Eastern and Central time zones, he notices that local time is an hour earlier than his watch indicates.

Because he will be there all weekend, he decides to set his watch to Central Standard time.

On Saturday, at eleven o’clock PM Central Standard time, he departs Chicago to go back to Terre Haute.

After the crosses the border, he remembers to re-set his watch ahead one hour to adjust back to Eastern Standard time.

On the way home he listens to WGN, Chicago.

At three AM Central Standard time, the announcer reminds his listeners to set their clocks ahead one hour, as this is the official  time for changes from Standard to Daylight savings.

When he left Terre Haute on Friday, he was on Eastern Standard time.

When he arrived in Chicago, he adjusted his watch back one hour to adjust for Central Standard time.

On the way home, at approximately one AM Central Standard time, he remembered to set his watch ahead one hour to adjust back to Eastern Standard time, but two hours later, he was reminded to adjust his time ahead one hour to adjust for Daylight Savings time, which he does.

(This is were it starts to get tricky.)

When he arrives back in Terre Haute, his watch now reads five AM.

He stops to get breakfast at a truck stop just off Highway 41, and discovers that the clock above the grill reads four AM.

He assumes that the establishment has just neglected to set the clock to adjust for Daylight Savings time, but he is wrong; the official time in Terre Haute is in fact four AM.

The announcer in Chicago correctly announced at three AM Central time to adjust for Daylight Savings.

Granted, at three AM Central Standard time, it was in fact two AM Eastern Standard time, but that factor would not affect the eventual outcome of the time in either zone.

(After all, most people set their clocks ahead  an hour before they go to bed, but even if you waited until you got up, the worst thing that would happen might be that you missed church, which may be why they do it on Sunday.)

This is what we know:

The return trip took four hours, just like it did on Friday.

He had correctly remembered to re-set his watch ahead one hour shortly after he re-entered the Eastern time zone, and later followed the radio announcer’s correct instructions to move the time ahead an hour to adjust for Daylight Savings time.

Why was he wrong?

What was his error?

What is that awful smell?

Now I realize that it is highly unlikely that even one hundred people might read this post, but if you just did, and can figure out this problem, please respond.

Thanks.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

03/17/2017

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