Archive for July, 2017

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: The Knowledge of Good and Evil

Posted in Drug Experience, Enhanced and Fortified non-fiction, Novel, Once in a Blue Agave Moon on July 28, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

Chiana had been listening intently to what Jed had been saying, trying to keep an open mind. She gave Elliott the occasional knowing look, and both of them tried not to break Jed’s train of thought.

Amy, Rebecca, and Leigh-Ann had already excused themselves to go outside to unpack, walk the dog, or wash down the bikes, although it was more of a ruse to allow Jed, Chiana, and Elliott to speak without interruption than anything else.

Once he was finished, she cradled Jed’s open palm that held the blue capsules as she also extended her other hand to grasp Elliott’s. As she spoke, she continually shifted her gaze from Jed to Elliott.

Chiana: “You need to know that I have a basic aversion to psychedelic drugs. I don’t want to see anything that isn’t there. That isn’t enjoyable, in fact, it terrifies me. I am too afraid of flipping out and not being able to handle it.”

“Elliott, as you know is quite at home in that sort of setting, although to the best of my knowledge, it has been a very long time since he has used any really strong psychotropic drugs. I now that you guys used to trip together from time to time back when you were close. I won’t attempt to speak for him on this, but my real question is Why? What is there to be gained from hallucinations?

Jed took a deep breath before he replied. “If we were talking about your garden variety LSD or even Psilocybin, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. As much as I have enjoyed using them, they are not even in the same league as The Knowledge”.

“Merlin, the chemist who invented it, was working for Merrick Pharmaceuticals on a next-generation anti-depressant. He suddenly realized that an analog isomer of one of the bi-products of the drug had some very interesting and unexpected properties which had the potential to re-write the table of contents in the brain in a way that meant that you not only would never forget anything you ever learned, but it encouraged the development of corollary associative neuron pathways that made connections between stored engrams which may not have seemed related in a way that could be useful in discovering answers that you already knew, but did not know that you knew.”

“What followed after that involved tweaking a few more side chain molecules and other changes in the chemical structure that even Merle did not initially anticipate, although continued use of the drug expanded his own comprehension and cognitive powers to an extent that lead him even further along.”

“He also soon realized that it could impart telepathic abilities that were even more enhanced when both parties were under the influence of the drug at the same time, although it was also quite successful in reading the minds of anyone you encountered.”

“But the real breakthroughs came when they gave it to Frederick, a Chimp/Bonobo hybrid who was technically a test animal and the property of Merrick. He was already capable of communicating in American Sign Language, but he began to exhibit cognitive abilities normally only attributed to humans.”

“When they gave it to him, it enabled them to bridge the gap between Reason and Instinct by virtue of what he could teach them…I don’t want to get too lost in describing something that will be instantly clear, once you take it…if you do choose to do so.”

“But it also allowed them to communicate with beings that exist in other dimensions, or parallel universes, if you like. These are beings that are here…everywhere, right now, that we can’t see because of gaps in our perception that become exceedingly clear, once you’ve had the experience.”

“Unlike most drugs, where the ‘thrill factor’ is the sole motivation, this is the most definitive, concrete way I know of to expand your consciousness, your perception, and your understanding of everything you see, everywhere you look. Suddenly, it all makes sense; and you can figure it out for yourself.”

“I won’t try to tell you that it isn’t exciting, or that you won’t want to do it again and again, at least for a while, because it is, in my experience the most exciting thing I have ever done.”

“It is as if everything you see or think about becomes connected, not only in a spiritual way, but physically, even scientifically, if you will.”

“It’s as if you can suddenly perceive the connections and reasons or causes of seemingly random phenomena.”

“Most people refer to something they call ‘insight’ regarding themselves, and their relationships with other people. It’s like being able to observe yourself from outside yourself.”

“Also, the effects tend to be cumulative in such a way that you not only require less and less of the drug to achieve threshold dosing, but eventually, the effects last longer each time.

“At this point, for instance, neither Merlin, nor Ash or Kali, as well as several members of their congregation take it except for very special occasions, like the initiation of a new member.”

“We have all taken it twice before together, and I can tell you we are all changed in a very positive and enriching way that goes so far beyond my abilities to describe it that I could never do it justice.”

“I don’t know anyone else in this world that I…well, that we would rather share this with than you two. This isn’t just some drug…it is a sacrament that transcends religion or any beliefs you may hold about the nature of the universe and our place within it.”

“They call it ‘The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’ because Ash, the spiritual  of The Home of Wayward Souls compares it to whatever Adam and Eve experienced when they got ejected from the Garden of Eden, but that’s another story in itself.”

“Chiana, I don’t know if you are at all religious, but I do know that Elliott certainly wasn’t when we were last in contact, and I have no desire to join some church and drink the Kool-Aid (or vice-versa), but this will give you a glimpse of something so real, tangible, and finite, as well as something that transcends anything I can put into words that I could not pretend to be your friend and withhold it from either of you.”

“This is truly the most valuable thing I have ever possessed, even though I can get as much as I want of it anytime I want, as long as I am willing to go back down there to get more.”

Chiana did not speak for what seemed the longest of times. She kept looking back and forth between Elliott and Jed. One look at Elliott’s face and she knew his answer. She also knew that is was very easy to keep looking at Jed, even though it had nothing to do with trying to make a decision about whether or not to take the drug…or did it?

There are many times in any, even the best of relationships when a certain paucity of the absolute, unvarnished truth may seem necessary, and we may spend a lifetime trying to rationalize and justify it, even to the point of claiming that kindness, or love somehow motivates our actions.

Many people find it possible to avoid having to address those “necessary” falsehoods via any number of interlocking patterns of denial and obfuscations for an entire lifetime.

But in a lifelong relationship, it can also result in displaced anger, aggression, divorce, murder…maybe even cancer.

Chiana and Elliott loved each other deeply and truly, but not entirely, absolutely honestly…how many couples can claim otherwise?

Chiana knew Elliott had aways encouraged her to be honest and straightforward, without regard for his feelings, and that he believed that even painful realizations should be embraced fearlessly.

She also knew that there were times when Elliott volunteered more information than she cared to know, and she was quick to tell him so, although she sometimes wondered if that had been such a good idea.

Chiana, Elliott, and Jed all knew what was developing, and China knew that The Knowledge would soon make it impossible to ignore. She was fascinated by the concept of taking the drug, based on what Jed was saying, and also knew that it might just make it possible to embrace all of it with honesty and love.

There are no guarantees of anything in this world, but this was beginning to look like a very attractive possibility.

Chiana then surprised them all, (including herself) when she suddenly blurted out “How does it affect your sex life?”

For what seemed the longest time, no one spoke. Finally Jed broke into a grin so wide that were he a cat, the entire canary could have been hidden in his mouth.

“Speaking strictly for myself, and as a man I would say ‘Wonderfully’, …the same as it has everything else I have described so far.”

“But if you want to know how it affects women, I would suggest you ask The Three Winds. I am sure they would be more than happy to tell you, but I am also sure they will tell you to take it and find out for yourself…with them.”

 

When Will You Stop Hurting Yourself?

Posted in Crazy Zen Wisdom, Love, N o Escape, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist, Poetry on July 22, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

 

 

You still don’t understand…

Happiness is a choice.

 

 

 

Stop and think about it…

Do you know anyone

who gets offended

or takes exception

to your actions or words

or interprets your thoughts

with the malice

you find in others?

Do you think it works

any better for them?

 

 

 

No wonder

you defend yourself

first

before you listen.

 

 

 

If you believed that you were worthy

of Love

You would find it easier

to believe

in the Love

others extend to you.

 

 

 

Forgive yourself first.

A generous heart

beats within you,

awaiting only

your permission

to love yourself.

 

 

You have to befriend yourself

to recognize a friend.

You cannot

reject others

to prevent

the pain of rejection.

 

 

 

Oblivion

does not prevent

Loneliness;

one must  prime the pump

with good faith

to drink from the well

of happiness.

 

 

 

If you fear heartbreak

You cannot love deeply.

If you love fearlessly

and your heart

is broken,

as it opens

and you lean into the pain,

your capacity to love

increases,

as well as your appreciation

and gratitude.

 

 

 

A broken heart re-forged

in the heat of fearless love

grows stronger still.

A tiny heart of glass,

once broken

can only cut

and leave you bleeding,

afraid to love again.

 

 

 

Just because you are afraid

to open your eyes

does not mean you are blind,

but until you choose

to open them

you will never know the difference.

 

 

 

If you do not choose

happiness

you not only hurt yourself;

you break the connection

between yourself

and the entire Universe.

 

 

 

That which diminishes

the life

of any of us

injures and limits

the lives of everyone.

 

 

 

You can either choose

to love fearlessly

and joyously

embrace the suffering

inherent

to living

your life,

or live in fear

of being hurt,

which is to say

to hurt not only yourself

but also

all those

whom you deny.

 

 

 

The choice is yours.

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/22/2017

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: The Spirit World (out-of sequence; chapter tbd)

Posted in Novel, Once in a Blue Agave Moon on July 22, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

The aboriginal name of the Aztec people of Mexico was the Nahuatl.

The Agave is a succulent, often referred to as the Maguey, that belongs to a botanical genus of its own, the agavaceae, which is not a cactus but is in fact more closely related to the lily.

The legend surrounding the origin of the Agave is rich in romance and adventure, although somewhat varied, depending upon the source.

Mayahuel, the goddess of fertility, was being held hostage by her grand-mother, Tzintzimitl, an evil goddess who devoured light and kept the people of the earth in darkness, requiring human sacrifices in order to get even the most meager amount of light.

Quetzalcoatl, the “Feathered Serpent,” was the the god of redemption and giver of life.

He felt compassion for the people of earth, and believed in honor, so he ascended to the sky to fight the evil goddess Tzintzimitl to set them free of her cruel treatment of them.

Instead of finding Tzintzimitl, he met Mayahuel, and instantly fell in love with her.

Quetzalcoatl, unable to find and kill Tzintzimitl, decided to rescue Mayahuel and brought her back to earth to live with him.

Upon learning this, Tzintzimitl flew into a rage and went to earth to look for them. No matter where they went, they only stayed barely out of her reach, and growing weary of constantly running from her, decided to disguise themselves as two plants growing so close that when the wind blew, their branches rubbed together.

Tzintzimitl sent demons to scour the earth to look everywhere for them, and eventually, when she discovered their disguise, chopped Mayahuel into tiny pieces, killing her.

Quetzalcoatl, devastated by the loss of Mayahuel, killed Tzintzimitl. Unable to restore the life of his lover, he gathered the pieces and buried her in a special place, where he wept day and night for a very long time, until the Agave grew from her body, nurtured by his tears.

The gods felt pity for Quetzalcoatl, and imparted special powers to the Agave to ease the suffering he felt for his lost love.

By drinking the fermented sap, which was called Pulque, Quetzalcoatl’s broken heart was soothed.

That is what the Nahuatl believed to be the origin of the Agave and how it was given its magical properties to comfort the souls of those who have lost someone dear to their hearts.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/22/2017

 

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