Once in a Blue Agave Moon: The Knowledge of Good and Evil


Chiana had been listening intently to what Jed had been saying, trying to keep an open mind. She gave Elliott the occasional knowing look, and both of them tried not to break Jed’s train of thought.

Amy, Rebecca, and Leigh-Ann had already excused themselves to go outside to unpack, walk the dog, or wash down the bikes, although it was more of a ruse to allow Jed, Chiana, and Elliott to speak without interruption than anything else.

Once he was finished, she cradled Jed’s open palm that held the blue capsules as she also extended her other hand to grasp Elliott’s. As she spoke, she continually shifted her gaze from Jed to Elliott.

Chiana: “You need to know that I have a basic aversion to psychedelic drugs. I don’t want to see anything that isn’t there. That isn’t enjoyable, in fact, it terrifies me. I am too afraid of flipping out and not being able to handle it.”

“Elliott, as you know is quite at home in that sort of setting, although to the best of my knowledge, it has been a very long time since he has used any really strong psychotropic drugs. I now that you guys used to trip together from time to time back when you were close. I won’t attempt to speak for him on this, but my real question is Why? What is there to be gained from hallucinations?

Jed took a deep breath before he replied. “If we were talking about your garden variety LSD or even Psilocybin, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. As much as I have enjoyed using them, they are not even in the same league as The Knowledge”.

“Merlin, the chemist who invented it, was working for Merrick Pharmaceuticals on a next-generation anti-depressant. He suddenly realized that an analog isomer of one of the bi-products of the drug had some very interesting and unexpected properties which had the potential to re-write the table of contents in the brain in a way that meant that you not only would never forget anything you ever learned, but it encouraged the development of corollary associative neuron pathways that made connections between stored engrams which may not have seemed related in a way that could be useful in discovering answers that you already knew, but did not know that you knew.”

“What followed after that involved tweaking a few more side chain molecules and other changes in the chemical structure that even Merle did not initially anticipate, although continued use of the drug expanded his own comprehension and cognitive powers to an extent that lead him even further along.”

“He also soon realized that it could impart telepathic abilities that were even more enhanced when both parties were under the influence of the drug at the same time, although it was also quite successful in reading the minds of anyone you encountered.”

“But the real breakthroughs came when they gave it to Frederick, a Chimp/Bonobo hybrid who was technically a test animal and the property of Merrick. He was already capable of communicating in American Sign Language, but he began to exhibit cognitive abilities normally only attributed to humans.”

“When they gave it to him, it enabled them to bridge the gap between Reason and Instinct by virtue of what he could teach them…I don’t want to get too lost in describing something that will be instantly clear, once you take it…if you do choose to do so.”

“But it also allowed them to communicate with beings that exist in other dimensions, or parallel universes, if you like. These are beings that are here…everywhere, right now, that we can’t see because of gaps in our perception that become exceedingly clear, once you’ve had the experience.”

“Unlike most drugs, where the ‘thrill factor’ is the sole motivation, this is the most definitive, concrete way I know of to expand your consciousness, your perception, and your understanding of everything you see, everywhere you look. Suddenly, it all makes sense; and you can figure it out for yourself.”

“I won’t try to tell you that it isn’t exciting, or that you won’t want to do it again and again, at least for a while, because it is, in my experience the most exciting thing I have ever done.”

“It is as if everything you see or think about becomes connected, not only in a spiritual way, but physically, even scientifically, if you will.”

“It’s as if you can suddenly perceive the connections and reasons or causes of seemingly random phenomena.”

“Most people refer to something they call ‘insight’ regarding themselves, and their relationships with other people. It’s like being able to observe yourself from outside yourself.”

“Also, the effects tend to be cumulative in such a way that you not only require less and less of the drug to achieve threshold dosing, but eventually, the effects last longer each time.

“At this point, for instance, neither Merlin, nor Ash or Kali, as well as several members of their congregation take it except for very special occasions, like the initiation of a new member.”

“We have all taken it twice before together, and I can tell you we are all changed in a very positive and enriching way that goes so far beyond my abilities to describe it that I could never do it justice.”

“I don’t know anyone else in this world that I…well, that we would rather share this with than you two. This isn’t just some drug…it is a sacrament that transcends religion or any beliefs you may hold about the nature of the universe and our place within it.”

“They call it ‘The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’ because Ash, the spiritual  of The Home of Wayward Souls compares it to whatever Adam and Eve experienced when they got ejected from the Garden of Eden, but that’s another story in itself.”

“Chiana, I don’t know if you are at all religious, but I do know that Elliott certainly wasn’t when we were last in contact, and I have no desire to join some church and drink the Kool-Aid (or vice-versa), but this will give you a glimpse of something so real, tangible, and finite, as well as something that transcends anything I can put into words that I could not pretend to be your friend and withhold it from either of you.”

“This is truly the most valuable thing I have ever possessed, even though I can get as much as I want of it anytime I want, as long as I am willing to go back down there to get more.”

Chiana did not speak for what seemed the longest of times. She kept looking back and forth between Elliott and Jed. One look at Elliott’s face and she knew his answer. She also knew that is was very easy to keep looking at Jed, even though it had nothing to do with trying to make a decision about whether or not to take the drug…or did it?

There are many times in any, even the best of relationships when a certain paucity of the absolute, unvarnished truth may seem necessary, and we may spend a lifetime trying to rationalize and justify it, even to the point of claiming that kindness, or love somehow motivates our actions.

Many people find it possible to avoid having to address those “necessary” falsehoods via any number of interlocking patterns of denial and obfuscations for an entire lifetime.

But in a lifelong relationship, it can also result in displaced anger, aggression, divorce, murder…maybe even cancer.

Chiana and Elliott loved each other deeply and truly, but not entirely, absolutely honestly…how many couples can claim otherwise?

Chiana knew Elliott had aways encouraged her to be honest and straightforward, without regard for his feelings, and that he believed that even painful realizations should be embraced fearlessly.

She also knew that there were times when Elliott volunteered more information than she cared to know, and she was quick to tell him so, although she sometimes wondered if that had been such a good idea.

Chiana, Elliott, and Jed all knew what was developing, and China knew that The Knowledge would soon make it impossible to ignore. She was fascinated by the concept of taking the drug, based on what Jed was saying, and also knew that it might just make it possible to embrace all of it with honesty and love.

There are no guarantees of anything in this world, but this was beginning to look like a very attractive possibility.

Chiana then surprised them all, (including herself) when she suddenly blurted out “How does it affect your sex life?”

For what seemed the longest time, no one spoke. Finally Jed broke into a grin so wide that were he a cat, the entire canary could have been hidden in his mouth.

“Speaking strictly for myself, and as a man I would say ‘Wonderfully’, …the same as it has everything else I have described so far.”

“But if you want to know how it affects women, I would suggest you ask The Three Winds. I am sure they would be more than happy to tell you, but I am also sure they will tell you to take it and find out for yourself…with them.”


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