Archive for the Bardo Thordol Category

“for those who think, Life is a comedy…for those who feel, Life is a tragedy”

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Uncategorized on April 4, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

Someone close to someone very close to me was found dead on Easter morning. A suicide by gunshot to the head.

This past month has been a bit hellish, but ultimately, very life-affirming.

Only just now have I allowed myself to let my emotions be recognized.

So far, it looks like a three-headed dragon.

This is the first post I have ever made directly to this site without composing on ms. word…I didn’t want to over-think it.

I just needed to acknowledge this.

More to come.

Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent

 

 

 

Punto Finale

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Buddhism, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Poetry on November 28, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

When we all are gone…

When the Universe

returns

to

The Void,

and the One

returns to Zero,

there will be no sadness,

with no one to mourn

our passing

or celebrate

our existence.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

11/27/2015

 

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Crossing the Abyss, Jantor To The Temple Of The Holy of Holies, Poetry on November 14, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

Nothing Lasts Forever.

No Thing Lasts for Ever.

That which we call Nothing…

The Void

yielded an entire universe

in one Big Bang.

The Bone of Space passes

through

Empty Space as thick as molasses.

Even this will not last forever.

What looks solid is empty

eventually we shall pass back into the void again

until a similar set of random circumstances

spits out another universe.

Things pop in and out

of existence

at the rate of

ten to the negative twenty-second

nanoseconds,

but

Nothing Lasts Forever.

No Thing Lasts for Ever.

But only Nothing(ness)

Lasts

Forever.

Just This.

Only This.

The void between

Nothingness and Eternity.

It has all the time that doesn’t exist

in all the universes

that ever have or ever will be

born.

“First there is a Mountain

then there is no Mountain,

Then there Is.”

I alone sit motionless

in its center

as the entire universe

hurtles through

something more…

something outside of itself…

something else

that is Nothing

that is less than Nothing.

Pure Yin,

the vagina of

pure existence

from which Everything

springs out of Nothing

that does not need a man

to complete it.

When we all are gone

there will be no sadness,

with no one to morn

our passing.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

11/11/2015

 

OVERCOME

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Love, Poetry on October 19, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

Ten thousand yesterdays pass beneath the wheel.

The slightest reminder triggers

both tears of joy

and sadness.

This wonderful, blissed existence…

Vignettes of spaces and time,

like pearls on a string.

each marked by a unique ambience…

Sweet, sweat and feelings so thick you can smell them,

even taste them

in the air between us.

upon which we ride

giant waves and gentle swells

of Understanding;

thoughts, ideas

and words

passed between us

like

saliva

or even

saltier

sweetnesses

shared freely…

engulfing some

and savoring others.

Tall, open-faced waves

of Satsang

rising up from a placid, tranquil sea.

Each scene has a coming

and a going.

And make no mistake;

the goings were so

exquisitely painful

as to have made it worth

it All

just to have Known You

at all

Perfect Film Noire.

All of it; the whole

scene that my life

was engulfed

in…that night

or any other;

when we said good-by,

knowing it was the last time…

both pretending it wasn’t.

…as I sat there smiling,

with mixed emotions

watching you walk away,

still salaciously

enjoying

and musing over your form

right up to the end…

of you and me;

the end of the story,

the last chapter…

Punto Finale.

Incredible highs

crushing lows

and nowhere to hide

from myself

except

In You.

Where shall I go?

A couple thousand yesterdays pass

and it happens again;

new script

new location

different story

same ending.

I try to convince myself

that I’m OK

that I will survive.

I disconnect

and move on,

dragging this sack of tears,

afraid to breathe

for fear of

breaking it…

setting loose the grieving postponed,

but never addressed…

“Après moi, le déluge

(or so I thought…)

How do I step away from you

and not loose touch

with

who I was and what I did

when

we first met?

Were those feelings not your own?

Just as mine?

Those images of us and who we were;

what we did and how we did it.

Can’t we keep them in a special place

of each our own?

Here and Now,

they all come together,

the joy and the grief alike

as if I’d just released

a box of stars

from captivity…

juxtaposed

and balanced

against each other in

Dissonance and Harmony;

Polyrhythmic Polyphonous

Symphony combined.

Judging Nothing.

Disdaining Nothing.

Here nothing is sacred or profane

as it suddenly becomes so clear

how every single moment

was leading up to this:

Ten thousand yesterdays

balanced against

only this one moment

with the anticipation of

Ten Thousand Tomorrows

not guaranteed, but

give or take a few…

maybe just a chance

to finally get it all right

at the same time.

Please just know

that I Know

that you did the right thing….

“Water seeks it’s

own level.”

Each of our lives is

” a Movable Feast”

Graze where you will.

You at yours

and me at mine.

All things return to the one.

and

She is with me now

as we approach

Zero.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/18/2015

 

 

If Only We Knew…

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Crossing the Abyss, Much Too Good For Children, The Liberation Through Hearing on October 18, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

If you had another ten thousand tomorrows,

what would you like to do?

What would you hope to have?

What will you need?

How do you hope you will feel?

Do you have any idea

how you are going

to accomplish this?

Suppose…

it was only a thousand more days….

What would you finish?

What would you start?

I hope you already know.

You may need to know soon….

(You will need to eventually.)

…or maybe not….

We have no idea.

We could be in the path

of a collision course

with an on-coming

frieght train…

or maybe not.

I have no more idea

than you do.

…probably.

How would you live

if you only had

one day?

How would you live if you thought you

would never die?

So here is my semi-rhetoical question:

In reconsideration of

the above-listed

rhetorical questions…

What are you going to do today?

How do you feel about it?

Do you believe

it is already

out of your control?

Why?

What?

How?

Do you think

you need to decide

what to do about it?

Do you believe

that you are powerless?

Even the Submissive

can exploit the

Ways of Power

and Majick.

Find your way.

Do what you love to do

first.

The rest will at least

seem

to come

a great deal easier

that way.

All by itself.

Like the spring rains

and the fish that swim

in and out of the lagoon

with the tide.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/18/2015

 

I still get Hungry…

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crossing the Abyss, Love, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, NSFW, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, Post-Neo Dharma Bum on May 31, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

bodhisattva Cundi7

I still get Hungry…
I enjoy being Hungry…
because
I also enjoy being Satiated…
…to consume….
…to be consumed….
I love Anticipation.
But most of all,
I want
for you to want me.
The question remains
“How much Drama
will this Dharma cost?”
“How much must we pay to play?”
I understand
that suffering follows
all desires.
But as long as
I know the price
and still desire to
Joyously
pursue Joy,
as even the arrow
pursues the intention
one cannot willfully
eschue
pleasure before it is sated.
Only then can you step aside
of your desires.
It is only then
that we proclaim
our noblest of intentions
nonetheless
inspired by an altogether otherwise
sort of fire
now alight in our chests
which once smoldered
in our nether-most regions.

I like also to feel
the rumble in my stomach
as hunger
overwhelms
all other desires
or intentions,
and I become the Hunter
and the Hunted
by choice of will, or passion,
or instinct
and strength.
I choose to live.
I choose to love…
not easy fairy-tale
puppy-love
as fragile
as a wood-nymph’s wing,
No…
this is tough and leather-clad
Love
astride
our engines of pleasure
sparked by impulse,
horsepower fueled by desire
compelled by instinct
injecting lust
supercharged with anticipation
undaunted by fear.
Poised and ready
for a
high-speed run
along the beach at night,
every lamp on high beam
penetrating the darkness
and the smell of Ocean in our hair.

As long as I still
enjoy the twenty-story
elevator shaft drop
just as much as
that accelerating ascent
that always preceedes it,
I’ll surf the waves
as best I can.
Until then…
until serenity
surplants enthusiasm,
…perhaps
some other time,
perhaps then….
when I no longer
enjoy being hungry.

As five hundred
lifetimes
come and go
in the batting of an eyelash,
we’ll meet again,
and if we don’t turn out
to be just as ignorant
and foolish
as we are now
it will be a miracle
to be celebrated
Here and Now
just as if we already had.
Let’s face it…
we both desearve it
just by wanting it
enough to pay the price.
Bound by Desire
a prisonser of Passion,
Every Hungry Woman
dreams
of the whipping-post.
Every Slave
loves
the collar.
Tomorrow’s Bodhisattva,
बोधिसत्त्व
is
Today’s
Post-Neo Dharma-Bum.

Namasté
नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent
05/30/2015

Who Am I? (revisited)

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Letting Go, Polyamory, The Knowledge of Good and Evil, Zen on May 23, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

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Who Am I? (revisited)
I am I.
I am You.
I am One.
I am All.
I am Nothing.
All is Impermanence.
All is Folly.
Even the coming and goings
are an illusion
created within the mind.
No inside.
No outside.
No mind.
Before ideas,
before thoughts,
before words
there is only this.
Just this.
Only this.

Just like this.

Who am I?

What is the Truth?
Twice daily
water flows
in and out of the lagoon
where fish swim.
Is this the only truth?
You already know.
Before thoughts,
before words,
put everything down.
The comings and goings,
Inside and outside,
All is illusion,
All is Impermanence.
Dancing in a dream of the past.
Dancing in a dream of the future.
I ride the three-hundred-mile-per-hour train
in the ever-present
never-present
present moment.
I look outside and all is a blur
but inside the car only I move.
I am I.
I am You.
I am One.
I am All.
I am Nothing.

What is my one true face
before my parents were born?
I am the truth of one mind.
Of clear mind
Of no mind.
So simple and perfect
staring back at you
as you gaze into the mirror,
yet if you
speak one word
to describe it
you shatter the stillness
that drowns out all the words and wisdom
of all the great teachers.
Already you know.

The truth is on the tongues of every blade of grass
singing harmonies
to the wind in the pines
and waterfalls,
the sounds of lovers
or the din of traffic
and industrial motor noise alike.
More eloquent than words,
more profound than all wisdom.
Seeking the truth or enlightenment
through thoughts or words
is like trying to hit the moon with a stick,
like a dog that chases its own tail,
that wouldn’t know what to do with it.
even if it should catch it.
If you open your mouth to speak
you are only another talking monkey.

Who am I?
I am I.
I am You.
I am One.
I am All.
I am Nothing.

What is the true way?
North
South
East
or West,
all paths come back upon themselves
if only you travel far enough.
If all things return to the One
where does the One return?
Zero.
The sound of the wind in the pines
and the crashing of the waves
upon the shore
are singing
a song of Selfless Love
as shadows grow longer
while the sun moves westward.
See your one true face in mine.

Who am I?
I am I.
I am You.
I am All.
I am One.
I am Nothing.
The sound of frogs
singing at night
comes in through my window.
So simple.
So true.
How did I not hear it
for so long?
Listen.
Smile.
Give.
Love.

All the wisdom
of all possible worlds
is within you now
if you will but listen.
Everything you need
you already have.
Everything you need to be
you already are.
I am I.
I am You.
I am One.
I am All.
I am Nothing.
Be here now.
Be nowhere.
Be now here.

Birds swim through oceans of fire,
while stone angels fly
and
fish dance
to songs
sung by
the rocks
as mansions of sand
crumble in the sky.
Just this.
Only this.
Just like this.

Who are We?
I am I
You are You.
I am You.
You are Me.
We are One.
We are All.
We Are Nothing.
Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent
05/22/2015

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