Chapter 58

It was only natural that Mordecai would ‘sleep’ with them. Guardian of the Gateway or not, he had taken on the form of the most lovable and affectionate dog one could ever meet…as long as you behaved yourself.

Throughout the night, Jed, Rebel, Aimée, and Leigh-Anne had reflected on moments when he had simply used his considerable talent for intimidation (or even combat) as well as charm in their defense.

(“Did anyone else happen to be eavesdropping on what just took place?”)

The sound of Mordecai’s voice was incredibly resonant, and soothing within their minds. 

The general consensus was yes. Elliott and Chianna were the newcomers, or novices as far as telepathic communications or even use of The Knowledge, for that matter.

(“I don’t want to cause you three any embarrassment; I just wanted to call attention to the transparency between us all now. Most people think that they would love to be able to read someone, or anyone else’s mind, but probably not at the expense of what they believe to be their privacy, which is largely an illusion anyway.”)

(“I’ll tell you why it’s an illusion, or rather, give you some examples…if you are having an affair with a co-worker and you think that it’s a secret, you’re probably only fooling yourself, even if you’re never forced to deny it.”)

(“…Same thing with comb-overs, wigs, lifts in your shoes, a sock in your jockey-shorts, or padded brassieres. Most of the time, the only person that you are fooling is yourself by believing that you are fooling anybody else.”)

(“Of course, those are just the obvious examples…what about our personality, your demeanor, your image…how people perceive your character?”)

(“In one way or another, often people lie to themselves in the form of rationalizations, because they believe that somehow, their actions are not really who they are. For instance, if you steal, does that make you a thief?”)

(“You might as well get used to it, because this is your ‘new normal.’ There’s no going back, either…it would be easier to put the smoke back in the cigarette than to unlearn what you have experienced so far, and there is so much more than you can even anticipate waiting  for you.”)

(“The ways in which your world has changed was inevitable, and you are on the brink of discovering how to control your world in ways you never thought possible, and were not even accessible to you before.”)

(“Elliott, you have by far, the most unresolved karma than anyone else in this group. That does not make you less of a person, but because all of these people are tied to you by that karma, you are blessed as much as you are challenged by it.”)

(“Rebecca and Aimée…from your shared surnames to your common history with Elliott, although years apart…do you think that much co-incidence is just that, and nothing more?”)

(“Jed…your talents, and your history literally make this venture possible in a way that additionally ‘closes the circle’ more than a little tighter, by providing a market for Elliott’s talents.”)

(“Which brings us to Leigh-Anne, whose objectivity and considerable knowledge and talents in the field of Medicine, as well as a wealth of compassion not seen in most mortal beings. Your mutual love of Elliott and Jedidiah, again is no accident…not by ‘God’s Will,’ but by opportunities that are the result of probabilities that border on inevitability.”)

(“Chianna’s part was something none of you could anticipate, even though you already thought you knew. Eventually she will teach you as much as she will learn, plus balance, perspective, and serendipity beyond your imagination.”)

(“And April provides your link to the other side.”)

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

copyright  ©  March 11th, 2021  

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

*ALL REFERENCES TO ANY PERSONS CONFIRMED STILL LIVING IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL…AND THE DEAD ARE TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT US TO CARE.

Chapter 54

Leigh-Anne  had never spent an entire night with Elliott except for one weekend that they had gone to Key West together. At home, her children and mother expected her to be there when they got up, but there was always an easy familiarity between them right up until she went out west to get married.

Likewise, Elliott had only once slept over at Rebel’s house, only because he was too high to drive, and nothing between them ever had any air of domesticity. They did not share their intimacy with anyone else as far as Elliott knew, and it was usually initiated by her as if out of thin air, and totally unexpected by Elliott.

In fact, it wasn’t until Jedidiah and The Three Winds came to visit that she had ever acknowledged their intimacy at all, except to Aimée, it would appear.

As much as Elliott was already anticipating future visits from April, (at least he hoped) she would appear again when the took The Knowledge, he realized that they would never be ‘playing house’ again.

But here, there was plenty of room for houseguests, but if this became a long-term residence, they would need to have their own quarters, but given Chianna’s reaction to Jed, who knows who would be sleeping where in the days to come?

Since Elliott was almost always the only one to cook for them, Chianna had no real inclination to work in the kitchen to help, and although she rarely even offered, she was only too happy to see to it that the other guests were entertained and delivered everything that came from the kitchen to their table.

And although Chianna did not exclude anyone else from her attention, the attraction, the fascination, indeed the infatuation that she was experiencing over Jed was impossible to ignore, but graciously acknowledged by everyone without judgement or rancor, although it did not escape a few knowing glances between Leigh-Anne, Rebel or even Jedidiah.

In the kitchen, a genuine feeling of relief passed between Elliott and Aimée almost as soon as they started the breakfast preparations.

True to form, when Elliott entertained, he had a tendency to go more than a little bit overboard, bordering on the grandiose. From the time that he learned of their impending arrival, his brain began to go on overload, and whenever he was performing…(anything)…he had to check himself from time to time and remember to take a big breath, and just relax, because if he was already doing anything creative..anything that he really loved, he had to remember to savor the pleasure, the enjoyment of being in the moment doing whatever he loved. 

And yet, right then, right there with Aimée helping him, he realized how easy it had been between them, just the two of them without  agendas, or interference, or interlopers. 

Not that either of them tried to push the envelope…in fact they were a little cautious, almost shy even, and it just made them even more adorable to each other; nothing predatory and in the absence of pretense.

“It really has been a long time…brings back some memories, doesn’t it?” Aimée cautiously observed.

It was exquisite just enjoying each other’s company.

And for once…Elliott managed to keep his mouth shut. Not entirely, but every little word or expression did not launch him into some kind of diatribe or rant.

Just a few very small, short, focused exchanges about preparation, seasoning, temperatures and the like between two people of one mind.

Turns out, she had become something of a regional celebrity regarding food, and had written several books on the subject of cooking.

Even Elliott knew to speak less and listen more. He suddenly felt lighter than air. Most of anything that he could do to impress her was to shut up and let her take the lead…she not only noticed it, but she suddenly saw him more in the light of how she had described how she hoped to envision him years later.

Subtlety and understatement was very, very attractive on Elliott.

He tried to simply follow her lead, and just help her navigate their larder and kitchen. And they both enjoyed it. A word of two here, ask her opinion about anything, and don’t try to control everything he touched. 

This was entirely new ground for Elliott, but she made it easy.

They both seemed to be rationing their direct eye contact, perhaps for fear that they might both be overcome by it, and yet, they were both the only audience that either of them needed,  or even wanted.

There were no discussions about their future plans, no heavy or lofty subjects at all, but the expressions on their faces, albeit more than a little guarded, spoke volumes with which neither one was inclined to argue.

They were just glad to be together, almost alone, once again.

At one point, they both reached for the Tamarind seeds at the same time. Their hands touched, and almost recoiled away, but Elliott placed his hand over hers, very gently, although somehow Aimée did not think he would release it instantly, so he just placed his hand over hers, like he was covering it, protecting or shading it, Very gently, as he stared up toward her face, waiting for her to look up, eye to eye.

For one thin moment, they exchanged the most beatific look, before Aimée raised two fingers to Elliott’s lips.

Long, long ago, they probably would have passionately embraced, and undoubtedly have made love right there in the kitchen, on the table, the floor, a chair, or right on top of the one hundred pound bag of rice in the corner of the pantry, or maybe even all four, and after all, for once no one was interested in “catching’ them anyway.

Long ago, swept away by a torrent of passions, amid entire volumes of testaments to Drama, and often supercharged with cocaine, Romance beguiled Reason as Love seduced Logic without regard for anything except the moment, and it was good…for awhile.

But now, the same winds of change finally catapult them out of the doldrums and horse latitudes of complacency, but in a far subtler, yet maddeningly more beautiful magnificence of Truth, and Authenticity without pretense or agenda into more still, clear, and deep waters so as to create the impression of yet another singularity of time and space to be reborn again within our own spheres of influence.

The Great Peace, and the Great Love…Big Love; those moments of realization via even the tiniest sliver of illumination presents the paradox of just how immense the passion of those realizations are, as if the subtler  of the conditions can only be appreciated after the violent passions have been sated. 

As Amy’s fingers touched Elliott’s lips, they suddenly felt galvanized, so strong was the current that flowed between them.

Another feature of the knowledge is the ability to send and receive tactile sensations from one to the other, back and forth, like alternating current transmitting their Dharma in a visible as well as palpable form.

A split second in Eternity. 

Thoughts, states of mind, and emotions transmitted via touch.

Indeed, as the Buddha said: “I transmit my Dharma to you” please note: he did not say: “I transmit THE Dharma to you.”

Under normal circumstances, one cannot transmit a state of mind, or even a belief system of what is true or untrue by mere touch, or telepathy, which is itself not a normal capability of humans.

Unless perhaps you are a bodhisattva…

But these were once again, extraordinary people under extraordinary circumstances in extraordinary times.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

copyright  ©  March 11th, 2021  

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

*ALL REFERENCES TO ANY PERSONS CONFIRMED STILL LIVING IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL…AND THE DEAD ARE TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT US TO CARE.

Once in a Blue Agave Moon, chapter 51

Don’t pretend You Didn’t See this Coming

CHAPTER 51

With the dawn, came a new twist.

“April…” (Aimée and Rebel were speaking in unison again.)

“We’ve got a favor to ask…we’ve been thinking…we think it’s Elliott’s turn.”

“Haha! Do you know that I’ve never ‘jumped in’ on a man in a sexual setting? You may be surprised to hear this, but the only contemporary cultures that use sex as a vehicle for uniting with the spirit world are Caribbean and African Santeria and Voodoo.” April’s freestanding image was becoming clearer and more distinct, less translucent, almost as if it were solid.

“Don’t get me wrong…I would love to be inside Elliott while he was inside either of you. I think we are in agreement about being curious about what it’s like to have a cock.” the glow surrounding April began to pulse.

April remembered her experiences at The Home for Wayward Souls, the South-Florida new-age religious cult, and their explorations into Universal Mind and Cosmic Consciousness, or One Mind.

“Hey, I’ve got an idea…How about while you and Elliott are screwing Aimée if I pegged you two?” Rebel suggested.

“What?!?!” Elliott’s reaction was predictably shocked. 

Aimée and April just giggled and shook their heads. 

“Look, Doc…we all know that you’re quite the stud, even with a few extra miles on you…but nobody has to know…it’s not like we’re going to tell anyone, and besides…ain’t you just a little bit curious…about what it’s like?” Rebel seemed for a moment to enjoy Elliott’s discomfort.

“I promise I’ll be real gentle, and slow…at least at first.” Rebel purred seductively.

Aimée and April were besides themselves, both of them also enjoying Elliott’s alarm and awkward discomfort.

“What’s wrong, Doc? Doncha’ trust me? I let you do it to me…I thought turn-about was fair play….” Rebel showed a sly smirk, playing the provocateur, as she dragged her fingernails from his neck up to his face.

She had the deepest, darkest eyes that you could just fall into and never escape. She smiled coyly. Few people ever saw either the tenderness, or the depth she possessed within her, but most people never looked.

It is doubtful that most of the men that had ever fucked her even knew the color of her eyes, or cared what she thought or felt.

Then again, she did a lot to discourage them.

“Well, Boss…do you want to share anything with us?” (Aimée seemed to be leading the witness.) “…Or should I?”

“Come on…El…you’ve got nothing to hide from us, from the sound of it…” April chimed in. “Why not let Rebel in on it…she’s obviously not going to judge you…even though you never told me about Aimée…”

“So I guess I’m the only one who hasn’t…is that right Doc? Have you been holding out on me? And Aimée? You never mentioned it….” Rebel pretended to pout, and stuck out her bottom lip.

“Well, first off, you never asked, or tried…I’m very shy in that regard…I don’t just ‘volunteer’ or suggest it unless…well, in fact, come to think of it, we really never got around to the subject…and besides, I didn’t want you to think of me as a ‘sissy’….” Elliott’s embarrassment was obvious; it bordered on abject shame.

  “Really? Darlin,’ let me tell you something…I don’t think that anyone in this room would question the fact that I have had more experience with men than everyone else in this entire room…and probably with a couple extra rooms thrown in for good measure.”

“And I can tell you for an absolute fact that even the biggest, baddest, most notorious so-called studs in the industry…or the bikers I have known have got all kinds of embarrassing secrets much worse than that.”

“You poor Men and your fragile egos!” Rebel rarely exposed her sensitive side, or empathy, and was in no danger of being thought of as ‘deep’ or philosophical.

And yet, in that moment, she recognized something within herself that she had never realized before…never allowed herself to acknowledge, about her own pain and fears, and it left her so visibly effected that it was like a mask had been lifted from her face and she was forever changed by it.

Her dark, sultry, and hardened demeanor was replaced by a radiance, a glow of lovingkindness and sweetness of character that was most noticeable in her beautiful eyes and mouth.

The Knowledge of Good and Evil had enabled her to lose her fear of her own vulnerability, and it produced an effect not unlike watching a time-lapse recording of a flower blossoming that would continue for the rest of her life.

This profound realization was suddenly shared by all of them, wordlessly as each one of them took it to heart.

“Oh…my…God! And to think that in my smug complacency I thought that by ‘crossing the Abyss’ that the secrets of the universe had all been revealed to me!

As April spoke, beneath the glowing, pulsations coming from her, she appeared almost solid, and the radiance she emitted caused Elliott to feel like he was standing on the edge of an Event Horizon.

Like two perpendicular halos, or accretion discs, everyone could feel her drawing them in, like a gravitational force, in spirit.

“It’s time…” She said.

“…to talk of many things…of shoes and ships and sealing wax…and cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot…and whether pigs have wings…”

Elliott’s attempt at humor, although totally inappropriate at that precise moment, nonetheless elicited a faint smile from April, and a nostalgic chuckle from Aimée.

‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’ as well as just about everything by Lewis Carroll had been a favorite of Elliott’s, but this was clearly not the time for that.

“…to reunite with our fellow travelers.” April needed to bring the subjectmatter back to earth for a moment.

“You need food and hydration, and there is much to discuss amongst yourselves.”

“After that, you can re-boot ‘The Knowledge’ and, as they say ‘Begin Again.”

“Besides, LeighAnn and Mordecai are headed this way.”

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

copyright  ©  March 11th, 2021  

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

*ALL REFERENCES TO ANY PERSONS CONFIRMED STILL LIVING IS PURELY CO-INCIDENTAL…AND THE DEAD ARE TOO BUSY LAUGHING AT US TO CARE.

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Awakenings: I Found a New Drug

 

As fond as I am of self-medication in the pursuit of Enlightenment, Ecstasy, Pleasure and/or Sexual Frenzy, I have to credit my physician for recommending what’s proving to be the Magick Bullet, or Missing Link… the last missing piece of the puzzle; this enigma that will lead me back to my one true home…eventually.

I do not say that in arrogance, but rather with a feeling of eventual certainty, a feeling more than a belief, although like quantum theory, an infinite series of repetitions will eventually introduce a mutation that will trigger a different result….

Yes, I know that I could also be describing the definition of Insanity (…like that’s such a bad thing, but if you don’t already know, it’’s not all that it’s cracked up to be), but the truth is that because of a change in a legal maintenance prescription medication, I was able to “Observe the Observer” long enough to recognize a serious error in my behaviors triggered by feelings that were altering my judgement, based on misperceptions that have existed as far back as I can recall.

I had finally repeated the error often enough to recognize the hidden flaw.

And surprisingly, it’s not a psych med, although it does seem to make just about everything work better.

(It’s also not an amphetamine.)

I just finished my third week.

And even if I am no longer able to take it somewhere down the road, or the effect wears off, the Insight that it has provided will remain, but do you remember a movie entitled “Awakenings”?

What I don’t know is whether or not I will still have the enthusiasm that triggers real Dharma Action.

There is something about uncertainty…a kind of edginess that I have learned to crave once again.

To be willing to Jump into the Fire…or the volcano, if the situation dictates it.

(And I didn’t have to fall in Love, Infatuation, or even a Crush.)

Go figure.

But the Proof of the Pudding is in the eating of the pudding….

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 

さよなら絶望先生

(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

Namasté

नमस्ते

Sukhino Bhava

सुखिनोऽभव)

Chazz Vincent

03/31/2020

 

Sayonara Y’all!

Awakenings

 

Life springs ahead.

Too much meditation,

not enough Dharma Action.

Time to awaken from this Dream

of Death

to enter

The Lucid Dream

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

03/31/2020

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

 

 

The Ten-Thousand Things

 

 

Each Day

As I face

The Ten Thousand Things,

that would either

impede or obviate

my pursuit

of The One,

it occurs to me

that

as I move in any single

aspect or angle

in the pursuit

of The One,

if I should

merely persevere long enough,

that eventually

I will become

one with

The One.

 

 

 

Wu!

Wu-Wei

Wu-Wei-Wu.

 

 

 

Matte Kudesai

Patience Please.

 

 

 

If I should

pursue

The One,

for the rest of

what is left of

my life,

I will never

Arrive.

 

 

The dog does not chase the deer

because he deer runs;

The deer runs

because the dog chases it;

 

 

 Wu!

Wu-Wei

Wu-wei-Wu.

 

 

 

Matte Kudesai

Patience Please.

 

 

 

The more passionate

the methods used

in the course of 

any pursuit,

the more surely

that

desire

will succumb

to

confusion.

 

 

 

Wu!

Wu-Wei

Wu-wei-Wu.

 

 

 

Matte Kudesai

Patience Please.

 

 

 

Each Day

As I face

The Ten Thousand Things,

I realize

that

No matter

which way I go,

all things return to The One.

 

Some directions

will be longer

or shorter

or faster

or more secure,

but the path we choose

will determine

both our Methods

as well as our intentions

and whether we know it or not,

instead of 

seeking

the attainment of anything

somewhere in the future,

if I embrace

my present circumstances

with joyous resolve,

compassion

and Grace,

fully engaged

in the ever-present

never-present

present moment,

there will be no time for

dreadful speculation,

the result of wallowing

in fearful rumination

instead of being completely

 in the Here and Now.

 

Acceptance, rather than Denial

allows us to focus on

what our life really is, 

rather than

what we wish it was.

 

If you are unhappy now,

what makes you think

you will be happy

sometime later

in a future

that will never come?

 

 

 

Wu!

Wu-Wei

Wu-wei-Wu.

 

 

 

Matte Kudesai

Patience Please.

 

 

Thanks.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/29/2019

 

Return to Nothing

 

 

Knowing Nothing. Doing Nothing.

Wu-wei

 

No.

Wu!

Nothing

 

Everything associated with the Mind is subject 

to duality, 

impermanence and illusion.

 

Yes.

 

Our thinking minds

create all the suffering in the world

as they inject fear into the future

generated by ruminating about the past, 

leading us to believe

we cannot live without our minds.

 

Perhaps.

 

Our minds, like spoiled toddlers

having a tantrum in public.

 

We’ll see what we can do.

 

In loosing our minds,

the air and the water become still 

and everything becomes completely clear.

 

For a moment.

 

Everything you need, you already have.

Everything you need to know, you already know.

Everything you need to be, you already are.

 

Always.

 

The return of Nothing Special.

 

Everyday Zen.

Wu-wei wu

(One less thing to neglect.)

 

Planck time is the ever-present never-present

present moment

Between Nothingness and Eternity.

 

Everything is.

Was.

and

Will be.

Right here.

Right now.

 

 

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/27/19

 

One Thought

One Mind…
Universal Mind.
Clear Mind.
Mind like Mirror.
“Mind like Water…”
Mu-Shin
Know Mind…
No Mind,
No Matter.
No Time,
Just This.
Just Now.
في مكان حيث أن الكلمات لا معنى لها،
(In a place where words have no meaning,)

Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent
01/05/2017

I’m back

This is only the second time I have posted spontaneously since I started this blog.

Due to a back injury, I was incapacitated for nearly two months now, and am preparing to go back to work and resume normal activities of daily living.

Trust me, if I am in too much pain to post…all I could do was meditate, medicate, and try to leave my body; sometimes putting pen to paper to scratch out an idea that I did not want to forget.

I am most grateful for the experience. I frequently write on or around the subject of emotional pain, and I am no stranger to physical trauma, but I had lost touch with how pain can eventually create a sort of “slingshot effect” some call the “sub zone”. It was enlightening.

For me, it sent me to escape velocity spiritually.

Today I suddenly picked up a beautiful Fender Stratocaster that was given to me out of the gratitude a very dear friend felt for a favor that Suki and I had done out of love in her moment of need.

I sketched out the bare bones of a song I suddenly heard in my head that I slowly replicated on my instrument. It has been a very long time since that muse has whispered in my ear. I wrote some notations to make sure I don’t loose that moment, or those voicings and harmonies.

Suffice it to say, I am back; all around me, energies are flowing and Kaizen is in the air. All around me, what I had lost is slowly returning.

Some of it is material, and was badly needed, but the really important ethereal and occult and emotional/spiritual/transcendental blessings seemingly came out of the universe itself.

I became a paramedic to try to do penance for some of my previous actions; one day, I realized that just not being a bad person doesn’t necessarily make you a very good person. I had a lot of Karmic debts to pay. What followed nearly killed me and cost me my relative sanity more than once. I am not complaining; again I say I am NOW filled with gratitude for all of it.

I’m back.

Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent

07/12/2016

 

 

Nothing Lasts Forever.

Nothing Lasts Forever.

No Thing Lasts for Ever.

That which we call Nothing…

The Void

yielded an entire universe

in one Big Bang.

The Bone of Space passes

through

Empty Space as thick as molasses.

Even this will not last forever.

What looks solid is empty

eventually we shall pass back into the void again

until a similar set of random circumstances

spits out another universe.

Things pop in and out

of existence

at the rate of

ten to the negative twenty-second

nanoseconds,

but

Nothing Lasts Forever.

No Thing Lasts for Ever.

But only Nothing(ness)

Lasts

Forever.

Just This.

Only This.

The void between

Nothingness and Eternity.

It has all the time that doesn’t exist

in all the universes

that ever have or ever will be

born.

“First there is a Mountain

then there is no Mountain,

Then there Is.”

I alone sit motionless

in its center

as the entire universe

hurtles through

something more…

something outside of itself…

something else

that is Nothing

that is less than Nothing.

Pure Yin,

the vagina of

pure existence

from which Everything

springs out of Nothing

that does not need a man

to complete it.

When we all are gone

there will be no sadness,

with no one to morn

our passing.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

11/11/2015