Archive for the Love Category

Jealousy is a Three-Headed Dragon

Posted in Crazy Zen Wisdom, Letting Go, Love, Much Too Good For Children, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist on March 1, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

 

One head is Fear.

One head is Envy.

The Third is mis-directed Anger.

The teeth and claws of this monster drip with venom and the blood of its victims, whose hearts are ripped from their chests and greedily consumed.

Its voracious appetite is never slaked.

Its body is the cumulative social conditioning of Society in its discontent, Religion, selfishness, and bad advice from the truly ignorant who have no business giving it; the ones who missed the boat, and continue to create self-fulfilling prophecies while shouting from the docks, condemned to “lives of quiet desperation”, afraid to loose something even they don’t really want.

There can be no denying that witnessing desire, attraction, or even outright lust spilling from our significant others generates a maelstrom of emotions, and feelings that can overwhelm those not prepared to tame the Dragon and make it their pet.

Compersion is the sexual alchemy that can transform the most mind-numbing, soul-killing complex emotion mankind knows into  a process that will energize and embolden an individual into an adventurous and fearless seeker of the truth.

I recently heard a respected therapist state that instead of seeking the perfect mate, one should strive to be the perfect mate.

Although there is a great deal of truth to this concept, I have reservations about it generating several dangerous misconceptions.

There was a time that I believed that my salvation would come by way of enlightening my most significant other.

It wasn’t bad enough that I sought to achieve enlightenment; (something that cannot be gained through its pursuit), but I had the audacity to believe I could somehow impart this condition onto another by way of teaching by example.

It doesn’t take long before an afflicted individual recognizes the power inherent in their disfunction.

Eventually you discover they are always in pain, always unhappy and never satisfied; in fact their moodiness, anger and self-pity empowers them and enslaves those who love them because they keep trying, thinking that somehow, if they do whatever they are doing just a little differently, maybe then they can be happy together.

This is of course, true madness; they recognize that doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results are the alternate definitions of both insanity and addition, but they do not see that the basic fatal flaw is not in what they do but rather in their choice of for whom they do it.

They seek an equal, while the object of their affections seeks power.

In this way, the desire they foster within themselves for what they think is Love will condemn them to endless suffering.

Have you so little self-esteem that you would allow yourself to be manipulated in this way?

You can love them more by attempting to possess them less.

If they love you back, OK.

If they don’t, you will still be OK.

These are not simply words that you repeat to yourself until you get want you want…you have to drop your resistance to whatever your present circumstances are, so that you can feel love regardless of whether it it is returned or not.

It is so much easier to love others fearlessly if you learn to love yourself first, just as you cannot really learn to forgive others until you learn to forgive yourself.

Will you feel sorrow if they withhold love from you? Of course, but there is great beauty in sorrow, and it will deepen your appreciation of those who love you freely, unconditionally, and without reservation.

And be sure that once you liberate yourself from the neediness and addictive groveling in which you wallow as long as you are a slave to love, the inner calm and sense of self-assurance devoid of false bravado or pretense naturally attracts others who can stand eye-to-eye with you as equals.

If you experience even one day in love with your equal, “to be the idol of your own idol is to steal fire from the gods.” It is an experience of immortality in the face of death, and the quantum of ecstasy which can neither be created nor destroyed.

Because it exists independently of time, once it is known, no one can take that from you…not even them.

Everything else is just junk food for the soul.

That kind of love is not capable of jealousy, nor is it manipulated by it.

Those who would in their ignorance attempt to manipulate you with jealousy will soon either be driven by their own inner instincts to learn from you, or they will eliminate themselves from your sphere of influence, and in so doing, grant you a favor that you do not have to request to get.

It all simply comes and goes by itself.

If you can be that kind of perfect mate eventually everything that you desire will come to you, like a cat that shuns you until you start to read the newspaper.

You cannot make the perfect mate by being the perfect mate; all you can hope to do is simply be your true self here and now.

Devoid of pretense, prejudice, illusion, mythology, social conditioning or fear, Here and Now free you of any impatience.

Everything is exactly as it should be.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 

さよなら絶望先生

(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

03/01/2017

An Open Letter to all the Women in my Life who Loved me and Lived to Regret it

Posted in Acknowledgement, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Jantor To The Temple Of The Holy of Holies, Letting Go, Love on September 7, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

I hope I was the worst mistake you ever made in your life.

I say that  as both  a blessing and a sincere wish.

That means you lived through it and if it indeed was your worst mistake that means you learned from it, and your life is better now.

Even if it was for the best that we went our separate ways I sincerely believe that it is never wrong to tell someone “I love you” and you were far, far from the worst mistake I ever made.

Baraka Bashad.

Blessings Be.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei .

 

Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz Vincent

09/07/2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

Favorites #9

Posted in Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Love, Poetry on May 14, 2016 by dreamlanddancing
俳句…(Valentine Haiku for Suki)
Others come and go
but here and now we remain
I love you always.
Swimming against tides,
Tsukimono-suji please
“Nāsu Witchi” heal.
A mere foolish man,
I stand before you loving
all you are and do.
Winter storms be gone
Better comes as bitter goes
Spring brings warm soft breeze.
Many seasons pass
bamboo and pine grow in Spring
Love grows every day.

Favorite Poems #2

Posted in Love, Much Too Good For Children, Poetry on May 14, 2016 by dreamlanddancing
What have You Done with My Goddess?
Dull eyes staring back at me.
Misplaced anger
and my own misdirected self-pity….
Who was hiding
in this shell,
this empty house?
…this tired, bitter imposter?
I pray she can forgive me
for not recognizing
the face of my own widow.
A Goddess mourning
the passing of her own Hero,
forever plagued by the ghost of
Yesterday’s Greatest Love.
A minion of years….
Yesterday’s Bitter Ashes,
The sweet honey of Love and Passion
and the mixed emotions
of realized dreams,
great hopes
and
Devastating Regrets.
Come with me.
Take my hand again in Love and Faith.
Remember what was…
never forget….
Let yourself feel the anguish
and acknowledge what we have lost.
Let it inspire us again.
To live each day
as the resurrected idols
of each other’s Idols.
Rekindle the fires…
Breathe life back into each other.
Reanimate The Dream.
Yesterday we found and lost each other,
as well as ourselves….
I remember the joy we felt
the first time I gazed into your eyes
and chose to ignore the foreboding…
knowing my life
would never be the same.
Knowing that our destiny could not be ignored,
Hoping it was all a dream
from which we never would awake.
We are old souls that have lost our way,
our selves,
and each other.
Rediscover today, My Goddess.
Your Hero awaits his Idol.
Take my hand and walk with me
together into tomorrow
and…
Never Forget
Yesterday.

Yen 4Suki

Posted in Acknowledgement, Appreciation, Love, Uncategorized on May 9, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

Happy Mother’s Day

It would take the rest of the year

to properly thank you

for what you have given me.

And I will take

the rest of our lives

to show it in my actions.

You give life.

You share life.

You are the source of all creation.

Namasté
नमस्ते
Chazz

OVERCOME

Posted in Bardo Thordol, Crazy Zen Wisdom, Love, Poetry on October 19, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

Ten thousand yesterdays pass beneath the wheel.

The slightest reminder triggers

both tears of joy

and sadness.

This wonderful, blissed existence…

Vignettes of spaces and time,

like pearls on a string.

each marked by a unique ambience…

Sweet, sweat and feelings so thick you can smell them,

even taste them

in the air between us.

upon which we ride

giant waves and gentle swells

of Understanding;

thoughts, ideas

and words

passed between us

like

saliva

or even

saltier

sweetnesses

shared freely…

engulfing some

and savoring others.

Tall, open-faced waves

of Satsang

rising up from a placid, tranquil sea.

Each scene has a coming

and a going.

And make no mistake;

the goings were so

exquisitely painful

as to have made it worth

it All

just to have Known You

at all

Perfect Film Noire.

All of it; the whole

scene that my life

was engulfed

in…that night

or any other;

when we said good-by,

knowing it was the last time…

both pretending it wasn’t.

…as I sat there smiling,

with mixed emotions

watching you walk away,

still salaciously

enjoying

and musing over your form

right up to the end…

of you and me;

the end of the story,

the last chapter…

Punto Finale.

Incredible highs

crushing lows

and nowhere to hide

from myself

except

In You.

Where shall I go?

A couple thousand yesterdays pass

and it happens again;

new script

new location

different story

same ending.

I try to convince myself

that I’m OK

that I will survive.

I disconnect

and move on,

dragging this sack of tears,

afraid to breathe

for fear of

breaking it…

setting loose the grieving postponed,

but never addressed…

“Après moi, le déluge

(or so I thought…)

How do I step away from you

and not loose touch

with

who I was and what I did

when

we first met?

Were those feelings not your own?

Just as mine?

Those images of us and who we were;

what we did and how we did it.

Can’t we keep them in a special place

of each our own?

Here and Now,

they all come together,

the joy and the grief alike

as if I’d just released

a box of stars

from captivity…

juxtaposed

and balanced

against each other in

Dissonance and Harmony;

Polyrhythmic Polyphonous

Symphony combined.

Judging Nothing.

Disdaining Nothing.

Here nothing is sacred or profane

as it suddenly becomes so clear

how every single moment

was leading up to this:

Ten thousand yesterdays

balanced against

only this one moment

with the anticipation of

Ten Thousand Tomorrows

not guaranteed, but

give or take a few…

maybe just a chance

to finally get it all right

at the same time.

Please just know

that I Know

that you did the right thing….

“Water seeks it’s

own level.”

Each of our lives is

” a Movable Feast”

Graze where you will.

You at yours

and me at mine.

All things return to the one.

and

She is with me now

as we approach

Zero.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/18/2015

 

 

On Letting Go, Part VIII: Denial

Posted in Buddhism, Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Love, Much Too Good For Children, NSFW, Philosophical Sexuality, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, Zen on August 11, 2015 by dreamlanddancing

With such a plethora of psycho-babble invading even common speech it is not surprising that the term Denial is most likely to evoke images of people who cannot face some form of dysfunctionality within their lives.

It is not my intention to dismissively disregard this blind spot that has such great potential for preventing us from being fully self-actualized human beings…far from it, but there is another aspect to Denial that is the primary focus of this post today.

My concern regards the denial of Pleasure in the name of higher consciousness and spiritual development.

The Precepts of Buddhism warn of the deleterious effects of Sex, or Drugs, or strong Drink as regards achieving Enlightenment, as well as the usual admonishments against Stealing, Lying, and Killing.

I have spent quite a few years studying Buddhism in its many forms, and the longer I pursue it, the more convinced I become that I am really not a very good Buddhist at all, despite the fact that I still regard myself as a spiritual person in many ways, although I am not the least inclined toward Religion.

There seems to be almost no end in the conflicting views I have regarding spiritual matters.

For one thing, although I am an Atheist I believe in the persistence of the soul, by which I mean that mysterious twenty-one gram quantity that would appear to constitute what we refer to as the vital life force that leaves us when we die.

There seems to be some emperical data to suggest that it may persist in a somewhat cohesive and coherent form after it leaves the body.

I am inclined to believe that this essence may be passed on and recycled, but I hold no hopes for any conscious memory of past lives beyond the occasional déjà vu, intuition, “instinct”, pre-cognition or the seemingly inexplicable recognition of people, places, or events.

There is also the matter of Universal or Cosmic Conciousness, One Mind or Common Mind. Sometimes it seems as if thoughts have wings that carry them like bees from flower to flower.

But the emotional crutch of believing in Re-incarnation has no appeal to me. From my perspective, it is just another way of diverting our attention away from the reality of our inevitable mortality.

I don’t know why people keep saying things like “I want to come back as a cat…” (or anyone other than themselves for that matter). What difference does it make? I see little evidence that most people learn from their mistakes in this lifetime, let alone from some previous lifetime.

I am disinclined to feel any comfort in the belief one way or the other, and gave up all hopes of Heaven a very long time ago.

So you could say that I believe in ghosts, but not in angels…at least not the kind in which we were taught to believe in Sunday school…(the notable exception being that several times in my life, I have met women who inclined me to challenge my disbelief…sometimes even with all our clothes on).

For the time being, this is my Kharma. I accept that, and realize that it is subject to change accordingly.

My initial introduction to Buddhism, the Hindu faith, and Vedic traditions, as well as Hatha Yoga came at about fourteen years of age, and was principally centered around both Mahayana and Hīnayāna Buddhism as practiced in India.

My childlike acceptance of Christianity had become untenable and I felt compelled to search for deeper meanings and a better understanding of the nature of my existence within the universe.

Later, I was introduced to the Tao, as well as Chinese and Japanese Buddhism, although the primary focus of my studies has centered around both Korean and Tibetan Zen Buddhism.

One of my issues with religion has been the requirement to believe in some sort of Supreme Being…a God who requires worshipful devotion. It may sound ironic, but for years I prayed for my faith to return without success.

Soon enough, I will be addressing that issue, but not today…at least I hope not today. Not because of some distinct or nebulous fear of a judgmental and wrathful God…it’s just that I still have a lot of things I want to do before it’s time to pick up the check.

Even in the absence of a God, the pursuit of Enlightenment, Deeper Meanings, or possibly even a sense of Purpose and Higher Consciousness remain, shimmering like the vision of a distant oasis in a desert of existential banality.

If they too should prove to be a mirage, the realization of just what it is…what it means to be alive will be my reward.

As marginal as that may sound, it is still better than tacitly accepting second-hand fairy tales from those who would pretend to know things that they admit they cannot comprehend in order to justify throwing your life away now for a promise of Heaven tomorrow.

A central premise of Buddhism is that all Desire is followed by Suffering…OK; I get it. If you are so consumed with desires that require reciprocation to the point that your self-awareness is no different than a dog chasing his own tail, it is the same as it is with any and all attachments.

After all, in chasing your own tail, you are following an asshole.

This series of posts entitled “On Letting Go” is concerned with exactly that…our Attachments, Addictions, Illusions, Falsehoods, and other Paucities of the Truth.

The eventual goal in Buddhism is to evolve to the point where one is “like a mirror…red comes, there is red; a man comes there is a man, a woman comes, there is a woman; Life comes, there is Life; Death comes, there is Death.”

“Everything is just this…only this…just like this.”

Most forms of Buddhism have a hierarchy of beliefs, characters, patriarchs, names, mantras, and sutras with various degrees of emphasis on one feature or another.

That was what led me to Zen Buddhism. I neither seek a Buddha to worship, nor to whom I would be inclined to pray, or beg forgiveness.

It is likewise unacceptable to entertain the thought of a god that would command me to either kill or die in his name.

Also, the Tibetan Zen Buddhists are less likely to condemn  sexuality, especially the followers of the Shambhala order popularized by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

Of course Tantric, or Sacred Sex is a practice that is blessed in its own right, even amongst infidels.

But nonetheless, there is always controversy whenever any Buddhist cleric is discovered to have indulged in sexual relations, drugs, or alcohol.

Indeed, all religions seem to be infused with this preoccupation with the denial of sexuality and the suppression of Pleasure.

I don’t care why right at this moment. There has been plenty enough written on why it is believed it has to be this way.

I disagree.

My concern is for Higher Consciousness…some call it Enlightenment. How can anyone expect to comprehend or understand what it means to be alive without joyously and consciously participating in it?

As for Enlightenment, the more I seek it for myself, the more elusive it will become and evade me forever. OK…I get it. You can’t hurry the process, and you won’t find it sitting at the feet of any teacher. No matter how much you learn, you must experience life to know it.

I have learned to just be, and as enlightenment comes, accept it with loving-kindness, knowing that it is not everything…there is always more.

If a time should come when my desires for sensual and sexual pleasures should disappear, it will undoubtedly make sense if that is the right thing for me.

Although Sex and Love are separate entities…they sure do seem to make such a nice couple.

Love (or Sex) and Jealousy arise from our expectations of others. Most people love selfishly…they expect obligatory reciprocation from those whom they love, and may even come to hate those who do not return the favor in like kind, as if Love implies Ownership, as well as a form of control by virtue of obligation.

Buddhists aspire to gain enlightenment, in order to save all beings, bringing world peace through selfless love.

There is a Zen Koan: “How many people does it take to achieve World Peace?”

The short answer is one.

All existence is created within the mind. If you just learn to accept all beings with loving-kindness, in the place before thoughts or words, we are all of one mind, and there is no disagreement, like two mirrors facing each other.

Sorrow comes, we feel sorrow. Joy comes we feel joy, not just for ourselves, but for everyone. Through Dharma Action we learn as we teach. When we encounter deluded individuals who are suffering, we suffer for them; and we aspire to act in ways that will show them the way out of their suffering.

It is even said that a true Buddhist would venture into hell to save a fellow human being.

It may not be eternal and everlasting happiness, but at least there is Peace. I get it.

I have no doubt that the institution of Jealousy could have a great deal more potential for impeding Enlightenment than Pleasure could.

Jealousy is indeed an institution within our culture whose major economic concern is for generating mindless consumerism that plays upon our insecurities as well as our seemingly inbred potential for jealousy, envy, fear (especially of aging), greed, and covetousness.

And of course, the attorneys make no end of profit from it.

Ironically, Lust is the very first on the list of the Seven Deadly Sins, but Jealousy is not even a runner-up.

This is another of the points that need to be acknowleged. Jealousy is not a simple emotion, but rather a complex inter-dependent series of neurotic manifestations of fear, envy, covetousness, and insecurity.

It is a learned response that is programmed into us as a part of our culture that is in fact, not endemic to all cultures.

Anything that can be learned can be unlearned. Even the most conflicted Humanist can be taught through the right sequence of stimulus-response mediated experiences to abandon learned neurotic beliefs and behaviors.

The point being that sexual pleasure does not necessarily pre-dispose one to suffering. On the other hand, no good can come from the denial of healthy desires.

Desire may lead to suffering, but Denial is suffering. The satiation of desires is more likely to lead us to develop sufficient objectivity about our desires so that we can respond to them like any other basic need.

The Buddhists say “If you are tired, sleep; if you are thirsty, drink; if you are hungry, eat.”

To that I would humbly suggest adding “If you are lonely or depressed…love selflessly…and if you are horny…fuck like there is no tomorrow….”

(Tomorrow never comes, no matter how many times you do.)

The Past is a memory…a dream of what was, as full of regrets as it is of complacent reveries of past achievements and Glory Days long gone…or the smell of grandma’s cookies…not bad, not good, but gone; full of “the pain of remembering”.

The Future is a dream of what has not yet happened…whether a portent of joyful anticipation or fear, it is a dream of a dream.

The ever-present-never-present present moment is an illusion that is gone as soon as it appears. It is created within our minds.

I say “Govern yourself accordingly….”

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/08/2015

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🎭दो चेहरें हैं,दो लहज़े हैं मेरे...और हर सवाल के दो जवाब "एक मैं जो लिखती हूँ दूजा तुम जो जानते हो"!! 👑Queen Of My Own Thought❣ #MyBlogMyFeeling

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