five poems for submission: 2018

(#1)

I Can See Your House from Here

Time and Time again,

those who sought in vain

to capture my attention

were those who tried to

talk me down from off

the ledge.

 

It never worked.

It never will.

understanding not

what it is that brings me

to this lofty perch.

Observing what goes

unexamined by

those all too preoccupied

by thoughts beyond control

within lives run by

thinking constantly…

Minds chattering so loudly

they cannot hear their feelings

even if their souls should speak,

…I can see your house from here.

 

Out on this ledge

thin as Here and Now

The Music is so very loud

you cannot hear your thinking mind;

feeling is all that

you can do.

 

I did not come up here to jump,

for I am here to dance

out on this high edge.

Do not try to talk me down

from off my ledge.

Come up and join me

in my special place

where my Music never ends.

We can dance here day and night

keeping warm in Winter,

dry us after rains of Spring,

naked jaybirds if we please

tans celebrating Summer sun,

we can dance until the Fall.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

05/27/201

 

 

(#2)

Tears of Sorrow, Tears of Joy…

(I just can’t stop crying).

Ten Thousand days and nights;

the best of luck

and worst of judgement

compounding

exhilarating risks,

great moments of defeat

and success alike

all much too real,

my soul too tender

to allow

them close enough

to either wound,

or fill me up

with too much pride,

I anesthetized myself

with jaded sarcasm,

cynical perspectives

and aggressive intimidations

fueled by

unrealistic expectations

within a life so privileged

as to be blind

to the misfortune

born to others

or to

those caused to others

by my own selfish means

by which I achieved

almost everything that I desired.

 

Dead friends, dead lovers,

dead family members,

dead spouses

and dead pets alike;

broken promises,

hearts and dreams…

accolades, applause, abuse,

admiration and awards as well,

early on I realized

that if I opened up that door

of emotion…

to feel

for just the briefest

interval of Planck time,

that like Pandora’s Box

once opened,

would make no difference if

left opened wide or closed,

I would never be the same

and so began

my willing exile…

my disconnect from any emotions.

 

It would be easier to put the smoke

back into the cigarette

than to forget

what I had felt and seen

or in some cases,

even where or who I was

when I had been….

whatever it was

that I had been….

Endless rituals.

no matter whether

hero or villan,

felon, friend,

or fiend,

the method of my madness

played out

upon whatever stage

it was that I was going through…

Until the End.

 

Another ten thousand days and nights ago

(yet at the very same time)

I started down another path

that would lead me to

what was called

The Bodhisattva Way.

When what had seemed

to be parallel lines

did finally cross,

both Joy and Sorrow

Desire and Disappointment,

Lust and Despair

were everywhere,

no matter where I looked.

Devoid of blinders, filters, masks or muzzles,

the brilliance of the simplest of pleasures,

joys, or indulgences

were as blindingly, brilliantly intense

as new vision

to one who has never seen.

Ignorance, greed, and hatred

once taken for granted

as “part of doing business”

now made me gasp

as if to take my breath away.

Vices that had once been

my stock and trade

were now reviled

and regretted

when recognized in others…

as tears of shame

fall to the earth,

that bleeds

with every step I take.

 

I had lived in the camp of the enemy

and learned his methods,

but could no longer make

his ways as mine.

 

There was a time when

no matter how much I got,

nothing was ever good enough…

Now almost nothing

is plenty.

 

No longer fettered and blinded by privilege

or jaded by remorseless greed

and narcissistic self-indulgence,

the simplest of kindnesses or joys

now give me pause, as if to choke

as I am overcome

by pure and simple Compassion,

Lovingkindness

and Empathy,

once overlooked,

now the most precious

of experiences,

as Love is on the lips

of every blade of grass

that sings

to the Song of the Wind

as it blows through the trees

drowning out the voices

of all the teachers,

Bodhisattvas and Buddhas alike.

 

Tears of Joy,

Tears of Sorrow…

Are they different

or

are they the same?

 

In the ever-present

never-present,

present moment,

we ride the three-hundred

mile an hour train,

where only your mind is moving

and before thoughts,

before words,

you already know.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

Friday, the Thirteenth

of October, 2017

 

 

(# 3)

Just One Thought

Just One Thought

Can spoil a lifetime

of Present Moments;

One Mind,

One Thought,

One Moment

Can drown out

All the voices

of all the

Bodhisattvas,

बोधिसत्त्व

All of the

Patriarch’s,

पत्रिअर्च्ह्स्

and

All the Buddhas.

Bउद्धस्

 

It can obfuscate

all Wisdom

all Instinct

both felt and known

(rather than

postulated,

elucidated,

and pronounced)

within

a mind obsessed

with

narrations,

utterances,

labels,

and schemes

designed to seduce

your attentions

away

from

what is obvious

only

to those

who possess

Mu-Shin

unclouded by

Duality,

Fear,

or

Suffering.

 

One Thought

destroys

the Present Moment,

which neither leaves

nor arrives;

in so doing

it destroys

everything.

 

One thought,

conspicuous in its absence,

and

obvious

in its utterance;

creating something

out of nothing

when Nothing was

all that was needed

in the absence

of

a Witness

silently observing

a witness…

bearing witness to

the truths

that cannot be spoken

or comprehended

by the mind.

 

One Thought

Within

One Mind

for One

Moment 

is

all it takes

to create

All

the suffering

in all the World

in the

Here and Now

which is

all there is,

ever has been,

or will be

…forever….

 

Namaste

नमस्ते

(I bow to the divine within you.)

Chazz Vincent

02/04/2017

 

 

(# 4)

11/11

 

You have seen me many times before…

before there ever was a You and Me,

born on wings of love

like a night bird

flying low and fast;

a bird of prey,

a flash of light

on the horizon

or peeking around

into the corner of your eye.

 

I was with you

when you first kissed

that all too familiar stranger

so long ago, so far away…

dusk creeping in

as sunlight tiptoed out

through an open window,

sweat beaded on your upper lip;

a second-floor room

in Cape May,

back when you thought

me dangerous…

or at the Chrysanthemum

in Key West

on our seventy-two hour

honeymoon

where we recruited

our willing hostages.

 

Who am I?

I am I

I am You

I am We

I am everywhere

I am nothing

I am nowhere in particular

but Here and Now.

I will still be there

long after there is any You and Me

just as I am here right now.

في مكان حيث أن الكلمات لا معنى لها

(In a place where words have no meaning,)

 

All things return unto the One,

And when the One

at last returns to Zero

there will be no more suffering,

with no one left

to mourn

our passing.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

November 11th, 2017

 

 

(# 5)

Sayonara Tsukimono Suji No Kimi…. さようなら私の最愛の白い魔女

 

No more “I love you”…?

No more bickering.

No more ultimatums.

No more angry words.

No more expectations.

No more disappointments.

 

The look in your eyes

betrays what you cannot

bring yourself

to say…

to pull the trigger

and end the suffering

between us,

yet you’ll never respect me

unless I do

what you cannot.

 

Its one thing to love

yet quite another to be in love.

As deeply as I am wounded,

I thank you for that.

I was born

to write torch songs

and you shall be my

most cherished inspiration.

 

That’s why they call it a

CRUSH…

When you meet,

it takes your breath

away,

the same as it does

when it’s over.

Nothing else

makes me feel more alive,

or more aware…

from the first anticipation

to the last anguish

of the horse latitudes

and doldrums

that slowly

led us here.

After all,

what good is all this loneliness

without the angst of solitude?

 

Nothing awakens

our survival instincts

like the feel

of

Death’s hot breath

upon our necks

and nothing

spawns entropy, decay and oblivion

like the stench

of complacency.

 

With nowhere else to go

for either of us,

the prison we have built

of our disillusionment

is

as real as our inability

to walk away.

With no where else to go,

our love

has turned into an ocean

of poisonous disappointment

in which we drown

each day.

 

I feel compassion for

your anger,

resentments,

and sorrow,

but I can no longer

join you in them.

 

When one door closes,

another opens,

which is how it will stay…

I’ll even leave the light on…

if it is meant to be

you will thank me

for that

one day.

 

No more “I love you’s?”

Hardly…

I will love and keep you

in my heart forever,

but I refuse to always be the first one

to say the words…

It’s just too much

like shouting

down a well.

 

So kiss me goodbye.

Just pretend

I’m not here…

someone

that you don’t love at all

so you won’t have to resent

that we are both still here.

 

We have learned

to treat strangers and pets

with more kindness

than we allow each other

and it is our shared expectations

unfulfilled

that has brought about

this despair in ourselves,

who are the only ones

whom we can blame

now that I

can no longer

bring myself

to sing the songs

that only make me cry….

Sayonara Tsukimono Suji No kimi….

さようなら私の最愛の白い魔女

(Goodbye My Beloved White Witch)

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

09/18/2016

Tears of Sorrow, Tears of Joy…(I just can’t stop crying).

Ten Thousand days and nights;

the best of luck

and worst of judgement

compounding

exhilarating risks,

great moments of defeat

and success alike

all much too real,

my soul too tender

to allow

them close enough

to either wound,

or fill me up

with too much pride,

I anesthetized myself

with jaded sarcasm,

cynical perspectives

and aggressive intimidations

fueled by

unrealistic expectations

(…and the very best of drugs)

that money could buy

within a life so privileged

as to be blind

to the misfortune

born to others

or to

those caused to others

by my own selfish means

by which I achieved

almost everything that I desired.

Dead friends, dead lovers,

dead family members,

dead spouses

and dead pets alike;

broken promises,

hearts and dreams…

accolades, applause, abuse,

admiration and awards alike,

early on I realized

that if I opened up that door

of emotion

for just the briefest

interval of Planck time,

that like Pandora’s Box

once opened,

would make no difference if

left opened wide or closed,

I would never be the same.

It would be easier to put the smoke

back in the cigarette

than to forget

what I had done and seen

or in some cases,

even where or who I was

when I had been….

whatever it was

that I had been….

Endless rituals

of stimulants,

narcotics,

and anesthetics

of every flavor and stripe

depending upon my

position on the wave

I rode

while surfing my bi-polar seas,

no matter whether

hero or villan,

felon, friend,

or fiend,

the method of my madness

played out

upon whatever stage

it was that I was going through…

Until the End.

Another ten thousand days and nights ago

(yet at the very same time)

I started down another path

that would lead me to

what was called

The Bodhisattva Way.

When what had seemed

to be parallel lines

did finally cross,

both Joy and Sorrow

Desire and Disappointment,

Lust and Despair

were everywhere,

no matter where I looked.

Devoid of blinders, filters, masks or muzzles,

the brilliance of the simplest of pleasures,

joys, or indulgences

were as blindingly, brilliantly intense

as new vision

to one who has never seen.

While the ignorance, greed, and hatred

once taken for granted

as “part of doing business”

now made me gasp

as if to take my breath away.

Vices that had once been

my stock and trade

were now reviled

and regretted

when recognized in others…

I had lived in the camp of the enemy

and learned his methods,

but could no longer make

his ways as mine.

There was a time when

no matter how much I got,

nothing was ever good enough…

Now almost nothing

is plenty.

No longer fettered and blinded by privilege

or jaded by unremorseful greed

and narcissistic self-indulgence,

the simplest of kindnesses or joys

now give me pause, as if to choke

as I am overcome

by pure and simple Compassion

and Empathy,

once overlooked,

now the most precious

of experiences,

as Love is on the lips

of every blade of grass

that sings

to the Song of the Wind

as it blows through the trees

drowning out the voices

of all the teachers,

Bodhisattvas and Buddhas alike.

Tears of Joy,

Tears of Sorrow…

Are they different

or are they the same?

In the ever-present

never-present,

present moment,

we ride the three-hundred

mile an hour train,

where only your mind is moving

and before thoughts,

before words,

you already know.

Namasté

नमस्ते

 

 

 

Chazz Vincent

Friday, the Thirteenth

of October, 2017

When Will You Stop Hurting Yourself?

 

 

 

You still don’t understand…

Happiness is a choice.

 

 

 

Stop and think about it…

Do you know anyone

who gets offended

or takes exception

to your actions or words

or interprets your thoughts

with the malice

you find in others?

Do you think it works

any better for them?

 

 

 

No wonder

you defend yourself

first

before you listen.

 

 

 

If you believed that you were worthy

of Love

You would find it easier

to believe

in the Love

others extend to you.

 

 

 

Forgive yourself first.

A generous heart

beats within you,

awaiting only

your permission

to love yourself.

 

 

You have to befriend yourself

to recognize a friend.

You cannot

reject others

to prevent

the pain of rejection.

 

 

 

Oblivion

does not prevent

Loneliness;

one must  prime the pump

with good faith

to drink from the well

of happiness.

 

 

 

If you fear heartbreak

You cannot love deeply.

If you love fearlessly

and your heart

is broken,

as it opens

and you lean into the pain,

your capacity to love

increases,

as well as your appreciation

and gratitude.

 

 

 

A broken heart re-forged

in the heat of fearless love

grows stronger still.

A tiny heart of glass,

once broken

can only cut

and leave you bleeding,

afraid to love again.

 

 

 

Just because you are afraid

to open your eyes

does not mean you are blind,

but until you choose

to open them

you will never know the difference.

 

 

 

If you do not choose

happiness

you not only hurt yourself;

you break the connection

between yourself

and the entire Universe.

 

 

 

That which diminishes

the life

of any of us

injures and limits

the lives of everyone.

 

 

 

You can either choose

to love fearlessly

and joyously

embrace the suffering

inherent

to living

your life,

or live in fear

of being hurt,

which is to say

to hurt not only yourself

but also

all those

whom you deny.

 

 

 

The choice is yours.

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/22/2017

Change is not Hard. Change is not Easy. Change is not Slow. Change is not Fast.

If you swim against the tide

you will drown.

So also,

if you try to force your will

in resisting what is,

you will fail.

You alone

are no match

for the entire universe.

It takes Wisdom to see

the ebb and flow of

what is and what

will be.

You cannot even slow

the force

of a single ocean wave

though your ego and pride

may be as large

as all the seas

combined,

but if you surf,

neither you nor the wave

are Master;

in surfing

you become one.

Change is not slow.

When your heart resists

what your thinking mind

convinces you

must be,

no change will come.

Put it down.

Put down all resistance.

Change

comes

with enlightenment,

like lightning…

Who can rush either?

Acceptance of what is

Here and Now

will show you

your Dharma action

from Nowhere

to Now Here

as we ride

the Three-Hundred

Mile-an Hour Train

that never leaves

and never arrives

because it is already

Here.

Inside the train

only your mind is moving.

If you stop fighting your mind,

in that one clear, thin moment

where all existence

dwells

in empty space

as thick as molasses,

Infinity

folds back upon itself

and all things

having returned

to the One

now

return

to

Zero.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

05/02/2017

But Now I Just Don’t Know

Despite my efforts

to stop

this eternally

chattering mind,

in understanding

that to open my mouth

to speak,

I was already wrong,

I still clung to the idea

that somehow

just the right words

might make things right,

or somehow

change the world

to better suit my visions or desires.

Foolish notions

creating opposites.

Egotistical desires

spawning arguments.

Wasted efforts

creating

too much noise

to let you hear

the Truth

all by yourself.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

05/31/2017

I Can See Your House from Here (Haiku)

Time and Time again,

those who sought in vain

to capture my attention

were those who tried to

talk me down from off

the ledge in my hour of need.

xoxox

It never worked.

It never will.

Understanding not

what it is that brings me here

to this lofty perch.

xoxox

Observing what goes

unexamined by

those all too preoccupied

by thoughts beyond their control

within lives run by

thinking constantly.

Minds chattering so loudly

they cannot hear their feelings

even if their souls should speak,

I can see your house from here.

xoxox

Out on this ledge

thin as Here and Now

Music is so very loud

you can’t hear your thinking mind;

Feeling is all you can do.

xoxox

I did not come here to jump

I am here to dance

out on this high edge.

Do not try to talk me down

from off of my ledge.

Come up and join me

in my special place

where my Music never ends.

xoxox

We can dance here day and night

naked jaybirds if we please

keeping us warm in Winter,

drying us after Spring rains,

tans celebrate Summer sun,

we can dance until the Fall.

xoxox

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

05/27/2017

Sayonara Tsukimono Suji No Kimi…. さようなら私の最愛の白い魔女 (or 780 hugs and kisses)

 

No more I love you’s…?

No more bickering.

No more ultimatums.

No more angry words.

No more expectations.

No more disappointments.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The look in your eyes

betrays what you cannot

bring yourself

to say…

to pull the trigger

and end the suffering

between us,

yet you’ll never respect me

unless I do

what you cannot.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Its one thing to love

yet quite another to be in love.

As deeply as I am wounded,

I thank you for that.

I was born

to write torch songs

and you shall be my

most cherished inspiration.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

That’s why they call it a

CRUSH…

When you meet,

it takes your breath

away,

the same as it does

when it’s over.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxox

Nothing else

makes me feel more alive,

or more aware…

from the first gasp

of anticipation

to the anguish

of

the death rattle

of the horse latitudes

and doldrums

that slowly

led us here.

After all,

what good is all this loneliness

without the angst of solitude?

It awakens

our survival instincts

like the feel

of

Death’s hot breath

upon our necks

and nothing

spawns entropy, decay and oblivion

like the stench

of complacency.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

With nowhere else to go

for either of us,

this prison we have built

of our disillusionment

is

as real as our inability

to walk away.

With no where else to go,

our love

has turned into an ocean

of poisonous disappointment

in which we drown

each day.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I feel compassion for

your anger,

resentments,

and sorrow,

but I can no longer

join you in them.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

When one door closes,

another opens,

which is how it will stay…

I’ll even leave the light on…

if it is meant to be

you will thank me

for that

one day.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

No more “I love you’s?”

Hardly…

I will love and keep you

in my heart forever,

but I refuse to always be the first one

to say the words…

It’s just too much

like shouting

down a well.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxo

So kiss me goodbye

as I wish you well;

let’s see how we feel

in a week or two

of our

trial divorce,

Our Banishment.

Just pretend

I’m not here…

someone

that you don’t have to love at all

so you won’t have to resent

that we are both still here.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

We have learned

to treat strangers and pets

with more kindness

than we allow each other

and it is our shared expectations

unfulfilled

that has brought about

this despair in ourselves,

who are the only ones

whom we can blame

now that I

can no longer

bring myself

to sing the songs

that only make me cry….

Sayonara Tsukimono Suji No kimi….

さようなら私の最愛の白い魔女

(Goodbye My Beloved White Witch)

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei,

さよなら ぜつぼう せんせい

(Goodbye Master of Despair)

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

09/18/2016

(As you can see by the date, I have re-written this so many times that I’ve lost count, and yet…I seem to be unable to post it, lest the true meaning be misunderstood. It is one thing to write torch songs, and quite another to live one; one thing to understand suffering as a source of inspiration, and another to be addicted to it.)

If we hold our tongues just to keep the peace, what we end up with will not be worth keeping.

Because I believe in Love I believe in you. Because I believe in you, I believe in You and Me.