Archive for the Possibly Dangerous to Everyone Category

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: Indeterminacy

Posted in Enhanced and Fortified non-fiction, Much Too Good For Children, Novel, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on January 14, 2019 by dreamlanddancing

Chapter 29

 

“Wait! Where are you going in such a hurry Chiana’?” Jed asked.

He continued “Let’s let everybody else get a bite to eat while we take The Knowledge. It will still take about forty minutes to take effect.”

“Sure. Sorry, that was a bit thoughtless of me.” 

It was rare that Chiana ever blushed, but she suddenly realized just how obvious she was about pursuing something of which she realized everyone else was all too aware.

“Hey, I don’t blame you for wantin’ to just jump right in…We’ve all been right where you are right now darlin’…” 

Rebel had been slowly approaching Chiana with that same languid pace that was so characteristic of her speech. There was a softness and affectionate tenderness in her eyes, as well as a countenance that few people anywhere ever saw.

She reached out, touching Chiana’s left arm with her right hand as she brushed the hair from Chiana’s face with her left to gently stroke her face, smiling.

She tilted her head slightly to her right and looked into Chiana’s eyes as she smiled with a compassion so unlike the face she showed to most of the rest of the world that you could have fallen into those dark brown eyes for an eternity and never reach bottom.

“We’re all here together, and as much as it was business that set Jed on y’alls trail, once we realized who we were lookin’ for…it became a mission…an obsession, really.”

“Trust me, Darlin’ …after all these years, well…Amy and I have still had more than a few…naughty thoughts about Elliott and the two of us…after all, we knew him years ago, but didn’t both know him at the same time. I’m sure you have picked up on the fact that Amy and me are very close ever since she came to work for me, but it wasn’t until Jed came into the shop that most of the pieces of the puzzle sort of fell together.”

“I had never met Jed before, and Amy hadn’t seen him in years. Now OK, OK, OK…I know I’m probably takin’ way too long to get to the point, if you haven’t already figured where I’m headin’ with all this….”

“Well, I’m not exactly sure. It seems I may have already assumed too much.” It was clear that Chiana was feeling at least a little defensive.

Rebel took a moment to take a long breath before she continued.

“I really want for all of us to be friends, and we already agreed that it was important to respect your space before anybody did anything…just to make sure it was ok with you because there is so much at stake here for all of us.”

“So after all this time, and this long-ass trip to get here, even if we weren’t tryin’ to set up a business proposition that will put all of us in the cat-bird’s seat by networkin’ all of our collective talents AND maybe give the four of us a place to land that’s about as close to the Garden of Eden as I could have ever imagined…none of this will ever fly unless you’re on board with us.”

 “And that’s where Jed fits into all this in a way I sure hadn’t stopped to think about…it’s easy for you to forget what a charming, sexy rascal that husband of yours is…or for anybody to just get bored with what they already got, and anybody can get boring with too much time together without a break.”

“…Even if he sort of broke both our hearts long before Amy and I ever met each other, I’d be lyin’ to ya if I didn’t admit how much we missed him…and not for just the sex….I also know that any woman naturally wants to protect what she’s already got….and nothin’ can remind her quicker than when she sees her man through the eyes of another woman who wants him.”

At this point a tear rolled down Rebel’s cheek and she flushed with embarrassment although she managed to force a wistful smile.

No one had ever heard Rebel talk that much at one time before, let alone show her softer side, or any real vulnerability. 

“But honest-to-God, Chiana, this is too good…too perfect for any of us to rush. Trust me, The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil has changed all of our lives, and I believe with all my heart and soul that we are all supposed to be together.”

”I tend to take a while to warm up to people, and even longer to trust them,  but I knew you were destined to be the Fourth Wind, the last cardinal point on the compass and the Missing Element almost as soon as I met you. We are sisters, as daughters of the moon.”

“Hell, even the three of us had gotten to take Jed for granted, maybe just a little bit…at least until we saw the two of you get all goo-goo over each other, and I wouldn’t dream of tryin’ to talk you two out of fuckin’ each others brains out…and trust me, he is one great piece of ass, but The Knowledge is going to change your life forever…and I’m just sayin’ that in less than an hour, it’s gonna be that much better, so why not let that energy you feel right now for Jed build just a little bit more as we all take this next leap of faith together.”

Amy had been slowly approaching the two women for several minutes before she took that opportunity to gently, gingerly caress the backs of both women. Although usually the most loquacious of the four, her silence was also disarmingly conspicuous.

“Becca and I aren’t trying to tell you what to do or feel…that’s not our place…but the truth is…well, we like you too…so maaaybeee…when you come back up for air…well, we’ll still be here, and we can keep Elliott distracted so you can loosen up and not have to worry about him getting jealous…(if that’s even possible), but after that, we really want to get to know you a whole lot better, too.” (the last of which she leaned over and whispered into Chiana’s ear) it was all Amy had to say, but the genuine tenderness with which she said it spoke volumes,

Meanwhile, Elliott, Jed, and Leigh-Ann silently observed the three women like naturalists observing the courtship of some heretofore unknown, endangered species.

And Elliott silently noted that once again, despite her affectionate humor, genuine warmth and enthusiasm, he was still just as dumbfounded as ever about Leigh-Ann.

Strong women tend to keep their cards close to their chest and Leigh-Ann was the most determined and strong-willed woman he had ever met. They had been quick to express their mutual love for each other, all those years ago, but her independence, and his seemingly fickle nature seemed to keep them just a hair’s breadth from any real commitment. 

Now she was married, and yet, nonetheless, there she was, so many years later.

But he also realized that he had no reason to assume that she was still interested in him that way, and in fact, she hadn’t given him the slightest clue one way or the other, except just now, as they stood next to each other, to softly allow the back of her hand to brush against the outside of his thigh, as if by accident…or was it?

Then again, Elliott knew that if…or when she desired physical intimacy, she would make her desires known, and it would be on her terms. She had a generous and loving heart, and she might surrender her body, but never her will.

The same as it ever was.

And only time would tell.

Chazz Vincent

01/10/2019

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: And Now we Begin Again.

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on October 13, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

Chapter 28

 

As the others enjoyed their coffee, Chiana produced a vaporizer and the now famous Dragon Drops to help set the stage for the meal that was to follow. 

After the gluttony of the previous night, Elliott was reasonably sure that today’s first meal would be best appreciated for its quality, rather than sheer quantity.

Melon, Mango, and grapefruit. All locally grown and a homemade “approximation” of prosciutto gave everyone a chance to prepare themselves for a meal to begin the first day of the rest of their lives.

After being told about The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, neither Elliott nor Chiana had much of a clue about what to expect. 

They had tried LSD, Peyote, Mescaline, Ayahuasca and Psilocybin many years before, and had even used the local mushrooms twice since establishing The Colony.

With such an imposing name, it would be difficult to live up to anybody’s expectations were it not for the fact that, once ingested it would so far exceed them that there was about zero chance that they would be disappointed.

As they consumed their sumptuously restrained repast, Jed and Leigh-Anne took the lead in attempting to prepare them for this most auspicious of occasions.

“Although you will probably experience the briefly unpleasant sensations of almost flu-like symptoms and a very low-grade fever like the onset of virtually all psychedelics, in addition to an initial feeling of minor disorientation, bordering on dysphoria, when it passes, you will not feel as if you were being catapulted into some surrealistic fifth dimension, or anything that you would be inclined to label as hallucinations.” Leigh-Ann’s demeanor was part clinical nurse, part tour-guide, and part merry prankster.

“But you can rest assured that before you have any real chance to feel any sense of disappointment that you will be presented with some sort of enigmatic observation or vision that will precede the systematic deconstruction of essentially everything you have taken for granted; not as an illusion, but rather as if you are observing successive layers of illusion being lifted.” Jed was affectionately gentle and reassuring as he alternately shifted his attentions to Chiana and Elliott.

“You may be reminded of the Dance of the Seven Veils. As long as you don’t try to control what is presented to you, it’s more like a philosophical strip-tease…” Leigh-Ann’s words trailed off as she smiled and slightly shook her head, obviously amused by her own turn of phrase.

The systematic deconstruction of every aspect of your known world is not like a continuous series of fun-house mirrors, nor was it likely to be a horror show either, given the present company’s familiarity with each other, which more or less precluded any serious concerns for anyone’s physical or mental safety.

“And never forget…what starts as well as what happens between friends stays between friends…” Rebel interjected almost as if she had been reading this narrative as it was being written, (which was presumed to be happening as the event was unfolding…something of a stylistic ouroboros….).

As much as she tried not to appear to be too deep, or too sentimental, as she let down her bravado, when she did, the sincerity was even more disarming.

This was one of those times; it would be easy to portray her as an almost illiterate self-parodying porn star with hillbilly roots, but it would be the most unkind of injustices to ignore her instinctive drives for finding and nurturing  true friendship, and her own fierce loyalty, as well as her hidden wisdom of the moon.

Nonetheless, everybody, including Rebel groaned loudly at the re-overworked cliche, before suddenly becoming silent, touched by her aura, or whatever you might be inclined to use to describe the ambience of that moment , (but that’s just it, even trying now to scratch the surface of the transcendent with mere words, can never do it justice, so there….perhaps you may even be inclined to use your imagination; after all, you didn’t just start reading this as if you were an empty vessel, right?).

Jed continued. “I would not advise anyone to consider taking ‘The Knowledge’ with anyone other than close, trusted friends, at least for the first time. I realize that puts Chiana at a distinct disadvantage, and although there is no sort of competition in any of this, I would be remiss not to at least recognize that five of us have known each other for years, even if it has been a long time since Elliott was a part of our group.”

“As much as I sincerely want to share this experience with Chiana, I am compelled to offer her a ‘pass’ if she is uncomfortable in any way with any of us, because if she is, it will come out eventually.”

“At best, you be challenged by the sheer magnitude of the experience in general. I don’t mean to sound condescending, so please understand me on this point. As we progress into this experience, you will see each of us like an open book, and we will be able to read you just as well.” Jed was soft and sincere in his approach.

“Some people are not prepared to accept some of the truths about themselves that they may have been trying to either deny or pray not to have to acknowledge.”

“Then again, as far as those aspects of our psyche’s are concerned, like either falsies, heel-lifts or a toupee, most of the time, the only person that is fooled  is the the one who thinks that anybody else is.” Rebel chimed in with her characteristically droll and bucolic ease.

Rebecca’s native intelligence had taught her that most people don’t have the attention span of a gnat unless you weave your real message into a conversation about sex, money, drugs, or human politics.

(But she also admitted that she would occasionally test her listeners by protracting the conversation even farther by exaggerating her drawl. She often made her friends ‘prove’ themselves to be worthy to an extent that drove off all but a select few, because once you made it past her radar, she was as generous and passionately loyal as a pit-bull.)

Once again, Jed found himself completely absorbed in Chiana as he stared into her eyes with a tenderness and affection that would have betrayed his true feelings, were it not for the fact that everyone, including Elliott was very much aware of not only his infatuation with her, but her infatuation with him as well.

“By the end of the day, you will see each of our identities dissolve to the point where you may feel that you can’t tell where you end, or where I begin. You will see yourself in each of us, as well as each of us in you.” Leigh-Ann once again took control of the conversation as it became evident that Jed had lost his bearings and was adrift in his own revery.

“Looks like it could be starting already…” she chuckled and shook her head.

“Hey! You two haven’t been dipping into ‘The Knowledge’ without us, have you?”

“…You know I’m kidding, right?” she added.

“Because what you are feeling right now isn’t a splinter compared to a Sequoia, once ‘The Knowledge’ begins to take over…Jed already knows that, so I can only assume that he is simply adrift in fantasy.”

“But before we get too intellectual about all this, I just wanted to add that at some point, you will recognize that ‘The Knowledge’ is going to re-arrange the Table of Contents in your brain.”

“What I mean by that is this: as long as the neurons are healthy and undamaged, every experience, every sensation, every word to which you have been exposed remains in your brain. This includes an unbelievable amount of seemingly trivial minor details, as well as horrific details you may have tried to bury. Without reinforcement, including recall, the connection pathways grow very faint.”

“The Knowledge will eventually index, categorize, and cross-reference EVERYTHING in a way that allows you to intuitively connect all relevant data and information flawlessly and seamlessly in less time than it will take your thinking mind to narrate this message to yourself.” Leigh-Ann paused for a moment to let it all sink in.

“And as we spend time together, we eventually learn everything that each of us used to possess singularly.” Amy and Jeannette (aka Rebecca [Steele], aka Rebel) were speaking in perfect unison and pitched harmony as they jumped into the conversation.

“Hi! We’re the Rogers Twins, and we’ll be here all week.” (The most remarkable aspect being that Amy’s voice was now coming out of Rebel’s mouth.)

“Be sure to try the veal and the sweetbreads, and don’t forget to tip your waitress…” (Similarly, Rebel’s voice now was coming from Amy).

Everyone laughed, but Amy and Rebecca made it clear that some, if not most of the effects were not only essentially permanent, but also cumulative.

“And this here is one thing I think you will especially appreciate, Doc…there is nothing like fuckin’ somebody you really like, and have them suddenly turn into you…it’ll teach you a thing or two about the difference between true love, self-love and narcism.” Rebel’s words were more deliberate than protracted as she shyly winked at Elliott.

“So what do you say we take this dog and pony show on the road? As China spoke, she arose to look each of them deeply in the eyes as she alternately smirked or winked at each of them, but it was the way that she rotated and slightly raised her shoulder as she leaned into first Elliott, and then Jed, caressing their lips with her middle finger to beckon them as she started to walk away for three very exaggerated steps before turning to look backwards over her shoulder, raising her eyebrows as if looking over a pair of sunglasses that spoke volumes to attest to the fact that Chiana was clearly more than ready…at least so far.

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/12/2018

 

Thought for Today: 10/02/2018

Posted in Crazy Zen Wisdom, Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on October 3, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

If you can summons from within yourself the ecstasy, wonderment and rapture of a zealot, there is no need to invoke a deity in your own image. 

…Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 

…さよなら絶望先生

(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/02/2018

PS: (This is not to be confused with writhing in bed screaming “Oh God! I’m coming!)

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: A Convergence of Many Things; Part X, chapter 27

Posted in Much Too Good For Children, Novel, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on August 15, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

 

With the arrival of the new morning, Elliott, Chiana, and Jed quietly left the bedroom so as not to awaken either Amy or Rebel. First they returned to the bath and kitchen tailer, and showered together, which was a very sensual, and heightened experience that left all three of them quite stimulated and famished.

Elliott then immediately took over the kitchen to get ready to prepare breakfast for everyone. Chiana and Jed took directions from Elliott regarding the prep work, but they were clearly distracted by their newfound infatuation with each other.

As much as they tried to disguise it, Elliott found himself fascinated by their behaviors together. It would have been easy to become reactive and jealous. He felt very strong emotions, but as he thought about it, he realized that there was a distinct thrill, like driving much too fast at night on deserted roads.

He knew it was all too easy to misinterpret what he would have labeled as jealousy, and in the process become defensive and critical of how either of them behaved while in the throes of this crush.

Their infatuation was unmistakable, and as he observed them, he felt something of a pinch as he watched his wife and best friend doing their very best to disguise their feelings because he still remembered how she used to look at him that same way.

He was also touched by the fact that they clearly did not fear Elliott’s feelings about the way they reacted toward each other, but rather made every effort to show their mutual respect for Elliott, not wanting him to feel pain or insecurity, which they all realized was expecting a  great deal.

For several months before the unannounced arrival of their new houseguests, there had been more than a little tension between Chiana and Elliott.

There comes a time in every relationship where one or the other party becomes aware that they have heard every joke, every tall tale or war story, as well as every opinion that the other is likely to express.

From that moment on, how both of them responded to this awareness will determine whether or not they make it to the next level.

Often, it is at this particular junction, or crossroad that many, if not most relationships fail. We crave experience, especially new experience that challenges our belief systems, or habitual modes of behavior.

Less solid marriages often experience a sort of mutual antagonism, where one or both members resort to nagging criticism, caustic replies and endless bickering.

Or else one or both them shut down emotionally.

Chiana and Elliott had weathered more than a few episodes that might have finished their marriage, and had been in and out of love often enough to recognize that like everything else in nature, even romantic love was subject to a waxing and waning like both the moon itself and the seasonal cycles, only on a much longer duration.

And because they had allowed each other the opportunities to explore sexual liaisons as they had presented themselves, and had been swingers long before they ever came to live at the Colony, although they tried to  avoid the pitfalls of jealousy, they both knew that it was better to acknowledge their feelings than to pretend that they did not exist.

Long ago, it had been Elliott who had first broached the subject of Polyamory, and Chiana that had expressed her disdain  for it. Fucking relative strangers was more like a sport than a lifestyle choice, but whenever either of them became aware of deeper emotional feelings expressed by their paramours, Chiana became reactive and jealous, or broke off her contacts with any “outsiders”.

Since coming to the colony, there had been what was more like expeditionary excursions than any real sex. Given that the community was so small, they both agreed to be sure they were both in absolutely perfect agreement before they initiated or encouraged any real frolicking.

They did, however enjoy a great deal of salacious banter and flirtatious behaviors. They figured nothing was written in stone, but caution was advised, due to the interdependence and close proximity of virtually all of the residents in one way or another. 

As much as Jed prided himself in being able to enjoy both the everyday as well as the more exotic pleasures of life, he found himself in awe of how well-supplied and sumptuous Elliott and Chiana’s  larder was. Fresh eggs, butter, and diary, the best bacon Jed had ever eaten, and homemade breads of exquisite quality were immediately produced as they began their preparations.

But it was the coffee and tea that really impressed Jed. The (formerly) United States of America is so vast, with almost limitless space, as well as variations in climate, soil type, and elevation that self-sufficiency within it’s borders was taken for granted…except for those conditions conducive to the cultivation of either tea or coffee. 

Americans consumed both beverages with absolutely no regard for what it took to procure and import them that it was not until the Armageddon Virus triggered the initial collapse of virtually every space-age culture that it became so apparent. If one were intelligent, resourceful and ruthless enough to survive the initial apocalypse to have enough time to miss the finer things in life that such everyday commodities became so glaringly conspicuous in their absence.

So shortly before the others began to straggle in, as Jed noticed the almost cavalier way in which Chiana had produced the most delicious and aromatically seductive pot of coffee, he remarked that he literally couldn’t remember the last time he had so enjoyed this seemingly perfect beverage.

She acknowledged that they usually cut their coffee with locally produced chicory to extend their stores, but since this was proving to be such an auspicious occasion she couldn’t resist at least making the first pot this morning using their best blend full-strength, (although all three admitted that they relished such favorites as French Market (which was already made with chicory).

Elliott explained that he and his eldest son, Alex had been in Miami procuring supplies to stock their lodge out in the Everglades when the first rumblings of the fecal matter hitting the spinning ventilation device, and somehow, they had the presence of mind (and random chance) to be in the right place at the right time (and with sufficient cash) to get the entire beds of both of their trucks filled with everything from ammunition to brewer’s yeast, as well as more luxurious items such as coffee, for instance.

That first morning, with the three of them alone together, temporarily suspended in the most delicious of present moments, which they knew could only last for so long;…they could feel the portent of such a prelude, although they were all three of them in no hurry to even fantasize about taking wherever they were headed to the next level.

And that morning, as pristine as the sparkling reflections of the sun off the waves of the surf on the ocean on a perfect, clear summer’s day had not yet taken on the trappings of whatever was to follow; regardless of outcome, yet that present moment played on like a series of chromatic approach notes that, instead of reaching their resolution, played on in a panoply of ambiences, seductive turns of ambiguous polytonalities, and resonances that led them further on, regardless of what would have created tension in anyone hypnotized by the ubiquitously conventional mentalities of those more conditioned to only crave the destination, the pay-off, or just The End.

Soon, they would have an audience, once the others began to straggle in, and Heisenberg notwithstanding, it would change the atmosphere, if nothing else.

It had been one hell of a night, between the effects of the Cush, and the whiskey, and Dragon Drops after a long hot day of riding, hot showers, and a great meal, and the others had slept the dreamless dreams of the amoral, as well as the guiltless alike.

After all, it rains on the innocent as well as the guilty, and no one was quite sure where any of them stood within that spectrum, nor did they see any reason to care.

Besides, the burdens of such concepts as fear, guilt, shame, sin, sacred or profane were just the kinds of words that had helped bring about what could have easily become the end of days for all humankind.

Never before, had it been so glaringly apparent that if you open your mouth to speak, already you are wrong. Understanding is not evoked by knowledge so much as The Knowing itself.

Humankind’s addiction to Duality had led to beliefs (rather than ideas) that by their nature, invoked opposition, inviting conflict and suffering on a world-wide basis, where wealth, position, power, and privilege were even more likely to breed dissatisfaction, envy, covetousness, and disappointment to an extent that any of them would have heedlessly thrown it all away for the lust of wanting more, (or despising those who possessed it) enough to kill in the name of their God, even if it was Manna.

Like zombies smelling blood from afar, first Leigh-Anne, followed by Rebel and Amy returned, led by the intoxicating aromas wafting from the same kitchen where the night before they had eaten, drank, and smoked themselves stupid.

“Hey motherfuckers…wassup?” Rebecca drawled as Amy massaged her back.

“Omagod!! I smell real, fresh coffee…you’re kidding me, right?” (Leigh-Anne then added in a stage whisper to Jed) “…Can we pleeeease live here forever?”

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/14/2018

Quandary

Posted in Crazy Zen Wisdom, Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Letting Go, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on July 28, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

 

What do you do when you find yourself anesthetizing yourself against the discomfort of daily life?…the Pain of being Human?

It is the mantle we embraced when we traded our Instinct for Reason.

Whether it’s because of an unloving or narcissistic spouse, a job that seems to suck the life from you, disobedient or disrespectful children, indebtedness that threatens to drown you, or even writer’s block, the only person standing between you and your own happiness is you.

I used to work with someone who was constantly complaining about his wife; between alienation of affection, selfishness, and constant, nagging criticism, I often found myself vacillating between feeling pity and annoyance at the endless suffering he endured.

Then suddenly, he missed three days work. When he returned he looked more miserable than ever and later admitted had been drunk the entire time, despondent that his wife had left him.

“I don’t know what to do” he moaned.

“Be grateful” I offered.

“What?! he snapped. “I thought you were my friend…what kind of insensitive prick would say such a thing to anyone in my situation?”

“Let her go” I replied.

“I can’t…I love her too much” were the only words he could mange to choke out before he started to weep again.

As I recalled our previous conversations that inevitably centered around his misery, I found it would have been difficult not to laugh at his last remark, were it not for the compassion I felt for his suffering.

“Then be happy for her, and grateful that she won’t be spending all your money and cuckolding you any more.”

“But she says she’s in love with someone else.”

“Well, at least that would explain her behavior, and why she was such a bitch as she was to you… You should be glad; that also means she won’t be fucking up your next opportunity to be happy for once, and do whatever you want to do.”

“If she’s rally in love with someone else, she will leave you alone…Hell, when a cat gets bored with torturing a mouse, they usually kill it. If she has something new to take her attention away from her love of dominating and torturing you I’d say you got off easy.”

“She says I’ll never find anyone like her again, and I’m afraid she’s right.”

“Don’t be afraid…you should wish she’s right…make her put it in writing,”

“You know, you can be a real insensitive prick when you want to. Have no no feelings for my suffering?”

“What you don’t realize is that I have felt sorry for you for a very, very long time…don’t talk to me about suffering…you have made all your real friends suffer for far too long, watching your misery at the hands of that horrible bitch.”

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you were the one who taught her to treat you that way.”

“Well, you’re certainly right about that! I don’t want to hear about it…”

“Think about it…as long as she withheld acknowledgement of her satisfaction, she had power over you; so the more of a bitch she was, the harder you tried to please her, all the while ignoring your needs. You need someone who enjoys giving as much as receiving, if in fact you really NEED anybody as much as you did…be glad for your freedom.”

“But I love her too much to let her go.”

“That’s how you taught her to hate you…how can you respect anyone who lets themselves do what she has done to you?…tell me something, do you really love her…would you be willing do anything for her happiness?”

“Yes.”

“Then let her go…in peace, so she doesn’t have any more excuses for hating you for making her feel guilty for being happy. You two could have been friends if you hadn’t made yourself so pathetic.”

Every hungry woman dreams of the whipping post…every slave embraces their collar.

Whether it’s your spouse, your job, your parents, your friends, or even your neighbors, there comes a time when you have to choose to not only recognize, but also accept the reality of your present circumstances.

Most people do not. They may complain, but not usually to anyone who might have the ability to change anything. They may practice some sort of sullen, resentful non-compliance or argue and criticize, but they rarely take action, speak up, or leave.

There is always an excuse that they claim prevents them from doing so, but more accurately, it allows them to continue to wallow in the interlocking series of lies and self-deceptions that constitute the fabric of the eternal suffering that provides them with their identity.

Each of our lives contains an essential enigma; a paradox so central to our being that if we could even recognize it, we might be closer to resolving it.

Suffering is an inevitable quotient of life, but denial and self-deception prevent us from realizing the wisdom needed to find the acceptance and surrender that can lead us to true freedom.  

And that excuse is at the very heart of their problem, which is inevitably unsolvable because of the fact that it has to be, because without it, there would be nothing to prevent them from facing the Great Existential Void.

And whether it’s drugs, or alcohol, or even meditation, they wallow in whatever it is that will prevent them from facing the enigma that lies at the heart of their existence.

It has been with them from the beginning of time, long before their parents’ parents were born; it is what keeps bringing them back.

Lifetime after lifetime.

 

 

 

 

 

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.

Sukina Bava.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/28/2018

 

Once in a Blue Agave Moon; A Convergence of Many Things, Pt. IX, chapter 26

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Liason Between Parties, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on July 28, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

 

“Does anybody else want to address the giant elephant in the room?” Chiana had a feeling that she would be the best person to start the conversation.

“Please do.” said Elliott about the same time that Jed affirmed his support.

“What’s next?” she enquired. “I think we are in agreement about where this is heading, right?” 

They both immediately confirmed her suspicion.

“Well, perhaps the most obvious and pressing question  is whether we want to take it to the next step now. I don’t want Jed to have to be too frustrated, considering his present condition.”

Jed was the first to respond. “As delicious as this feels, believe it or not, I’m enjoying the tension…after all, we’ll only know this state of indeterminacy once…I want you so badly I won’t even try to put it into words, and yet…it’s the not knowing…it’s the anticipation that I started feeling the minute I laid eyes upon you that has me worked up in a way that I haven’t known in a very, very long time.”

“Isn’t that kind of painful? Chiana asked.

“If you mean ‘blue balls’ no… That may be a teenage condition, but it hasn’t affected me in many years.”Jed replied.

“I find it hard to believe that there are too many times you have to wait…that women don’t want to fuck you right away….” she quipped.

“Ahhh…good point, Chiana. When you put it that way, I suppose you’re right” he admitted.

“But this feels very different…and I have a reason for wanting to wait. It’s the ‘Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil’…and Tantric.”

Jed was feeling he needed to explain more.

“The Fruit is the most singularly amazing and powerful experience I have ever known…it makes acid seem pale by comparison, even though it is overall a much more gentle and natural drug, and doesn’t leave you with that shattered feeling that LSD can invoke.”

“And Tantric will just magnify the entire experience. Believe it or not, as much as I desire you right now, ‘The Fruit’ will change the way you see the world forever, and I am absolutely sure that we will all know when the time is right, and in the meantime…the waiting…the anticipation is positively breathtaking.”

“I want us all to take it together tomorrow.”

Jed suddenly realized that he and Chiana had been talking as if Elliott wasn’t even in the room about the same time that Chiana did.

They both suddenly turned their attention to Elliott and blurted out “How do you feel about all this?” at the same instant, which seemed a bit disarming to Elliott, who thought to himself (“Shit! They’re already finishing each other’s sentences! Why don’t I feel threatened?”)

“We seem to be of one mind…I love you both so much that as much as all of this might be most people’s worst nightmare, I feel exhilarated beyond words…I hope I don’t end up regretting all this, but wherever this takes us, our destinies are inescapable. Here we are. Here and now.”

It had been years since Elliott and Chiana had bothered to take the time to practice Tantric Sex. It’s so easy to become lazy and jaded when you are with the same person for so long. It seems like there’s always tomorrow, and you end up taking each other for granted without ever realizing it.

They spent the rest of the night until well after dawn just touching, kissing and caressing each other. 

Suddenly, every moment was supercharged and hung heavy in the air with portent and significance. Every touch, every sight, glance, sound or nuance was filled with an excitement none of them had known before.

All in all, it felt like everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be.

At least for now; for this present moment, this was all there was.

Of course,

This is all there ever is.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/27/2018

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: A Convergence of Many Things Part VIII

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 7, 2018 by dreamlanddancing

Chapter 25

Although their kitchen, dining room, pantry and bath was built around their first trailer, which was finally bolstered with a rough-hewn log-cabin exterior, their living quarters were constructed from salvaged freight containers like the ones used on trucks, trains and steamships.

It was not immediately apparent from the outside because they had installed windows and doorways, although they had saved the cut-out portions and made them into shutters and the exterior was covered with wood siding. The doors were similarly made from the cut-outs, and edged with steel. In a minimal amount of time, they could be secured as tight as a bank vault and were at the very least, hurricane-proof.

Similarly, the interiors were paneled and either carpeted or tiled, and the ceilings were constructed from thick foam insulation that simply looked like a textured white ceiling.

Elliott had constructed wooden walkways between all of their buildings and the walkways were covered to provide shelter from either sun or rain.

It is interesting to note that the melaleuca tree was brought to Florida in an effort to dry up the parts of the Everglades that were too wet to grow sugar. Unfortunately, they became an almost uncontrollable invasive species.

Elliott decided to use a very narrow stand of melaleuca to surround their property because it grows so closely and forms such a dense barrier that it provided privacy as well as a wind-break and generally formidable barricade.

It was also useful for keeping the somewhat boggy land around their property dry. It is however a very formidable menace because of its extremely invasive nature, and Elliott quickly learned to keep it confined to only the perimeter of their property.

Fortunately, tonight it also provided them the privacy to walk to the living quarters as naked as jaybirds without being seen by their neighbors.

Not that any of them were especially shy, but it was clearly none of anybody else’s business.

The two containers used for their living space were stacked crossways on top of each other, The bottom container was set up as a very spacious and grand parlor and living room, with a staircase built up to the top container which housed their bedroom.

The bedroom also opened out onto a balcony that ran along the entire side of the upper container, providing a cover for the areas under it.

Their bed was a California King. Sleeping six adults on it was probably unrealistic at best, but Amy and Rebel promptly passed out in each others arms, and Leigh-Ann volunteered to go downstairs to sleep on the couch, leaving Elliott in the same quandary as when she first arrived.

As he stopped to think about it, he realized that, even years ago, when they had been so close, no matter how cheerful or enthusiastic she was, she was strangely aloof about showing her truly genuine feelings. She could be very affectionate, but she kept all her emotional cards very close to her chest.

No matter how much they had loved each other, they never proclaimed to be in love with each other. Then again, they had never quarreled, and never really broke up, although the last time she came back to Florida, she had told him that she wanted to see him one more time, just to confirm that she could be faithful to the man she intended to marry when she returned to Arizona.

She was, at least back then, but for about the last ten years, she and her husband never traveled or vacationed together. She made it no secret, but she did not elaborate beyond that.

He found it strangely flattering, to be her litmus-test for fidelity, but he sometimes wondered if things might have been different if she hadn’t left. Neither of them had wanted her to join the ranks of ex-wives and the animosity they carried, but they both admitted they had thought about it more than once over the years.

But for now at least, it seemed there would be bigger fish to fry.

There was still plenty of room for Chiana to nestle herself between Jed and Elliott.

Although she put her head on Elliott’s shoulder, she rather casually let her hand slid from her hip to Jed’s belly before slowly moving it down to his noticeably rigid cock.

First, just a light touch as she curiously dragged a finger along its length before slowly grasping it, palm down as she sighed deeply enough  for Elliott to notice.

That moment hung in the air as if charged with St. Elmo’s Fire. Elliott turned his head just enough to observe her hand before lightly kissing her on the top of her head. He wanted her to know that she had his understanding, support, and approval.

Jed responded by rolling to his side to face Chiana, but kept his hands to himself. As aroused as he was at that moment, he wanted to be sure he did not overstep any of Elliott’s boundaries, but suspected that at that moment he probably could not have overstepped any of Chiana’s, even if he tried, and he would have been correct in his assumption.

Everyone was enjoying the delicious tension it created.

That was the way it had always been with them, and Elliott knew that whatever he gave, she always returned many times over, but this was going to represent a much greater emotional risk than ever before.

It was time to face his demons; he despised jealousy in any form, most especially in himself. He had loved and trusted Jed like a brother, and clearly understood Chiana’s attraction for him.

This would be his greatest leap of faith ever.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

03/06/2018

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