Archive for the Much Too Good For Children Category

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: Chapter 39

Posted in Metaphysical Action/Adventure, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, The Knowledge of Good and Evil on May 6, 2020 by dreamlanddancing

The Knowledge of Good and Evil

 

 

Although Jed, Rebecca and Amy had considerable experience with The Knowledge, they all acknowledged that it was never the same on one level, and exactly the same on many other levels.

Elliott was well-known for saying “I never met a psychotropic drug that I didn’t like…” and LSD, Psilocybin, Peyote, and Mescaline were at the top of the list.

 He had been wanting to try it from the minute he heard about it.

Chiana, on the other hand rarely even smoked weed, except as an enhancement to a particular ritual or ceremony, and on occasion, for sex…just not much recently.

The onset of effects in terms of the participant’s awareness of what it was that they were experiencing might initially manifest itself as either auditory, visual/perceptual, mental/intellectual/philosophical, spiritual, or physical sensations and awarenesses.

The amusing thing is that whatever door opened first, it was a choice, or rather an invention devised by your psyche, to call attention to itself long enough to distract you so as to awaken you from your dream.

Often, the telepathic awareness was well upon its users before they realized it, especially among people with a history, or common experiences and consciousnesses.

Of course, ever since the four of them had rolled into the Fourteenth Colony, Anticipation, even when offset by the slightest degree of uncertainty, had preoccupied their attentions.

The If, the How, or the When remained a common question to be determined, even as they contemplated it, unable to take anything for granted, despite the fact that they knew intuitively what each of them thought, felt, or even hoped.

Or, at least what they intended to accomplish. The truth is that nothing had remained the same within or around each of them, despite the fact that once separated, their own cognitive assessments, memories, and feelings about each other, good or bad, still remained.

Snapshots of memories, more likely than not, in arrested development, as the rest of their lives went speeding on by.

Was it possible “..to love like there’s no tomorrow, and still  not cry when it’s time to go?”

How about when it’s time to go back?

“Well, at the time that was how I felt, but so much has changed since then…” is not just a cliched movie dialogue; it’s probably spoken somewhere every day, along with “…it’s not you, it’s me…”

Even when you think you know how you’re going to feel about reuniting with a long-lost love, when the time comes, it may feel different; something separated the two of you the last time, and they may not recall how you two parted as fondly as you do.

However, the likelihood of anyone traveling that kind of distance under the dangerous conditions of the road should rule out the likelihood of revenge or resentment motivating anyone in this group. 

How many times have you run into an old flame, only to be rebuffed, as if you were never really friends in the first place? It only takes once….

Some things however, were certain; Chiana’s attraction for Jed, which was hesitantly reciprocated, although everyone could see how Jed seemed reluctant to do anything to hurt Elliott.

As their perceptions continued to become more heightened, the giant elephant in the room was Jed, Chiana, and Elliott.

Once they came to grips with the fact that even their efforts to hide the infatuation swirling around them were in vain, the greater the potential for essentially hurting Elliott even more…by patronizing him, underestimating him and injecting Guilt to poison the moment.

And yet all of them watched as each of them catapulted through a series of understandings and insights communicated by a simple glance or an expression passed between the three of them, almost in an instant.

Elliott did not want to cause Chiana to censure her exploration of her feelings for Jed, as well as her attractions on a physical level, so although they usually participated and shared everything together, they agreed to be open and honest…separately, for now, just now.

But still she felt that somehow, she was not being fair to Elliott, so much so that Chiana even suddenly blurted out how Elliott was probably going to have his hands full, just “properly entertaining” the other guests, as a good host should.

Chiana suddenly realized that she was willing to encourage her husband to occupy his attention with whatever combination of three of his closest past lovers, two of which, she suddenly realized were among “the great loves” of his life, just to indulge herself in something that she did not want to ignore or deny herself.

“The Three Greatest Loves of his Life” of course, referred to before he and Chiana met. Back when he first became a sentient adult, Elliott’s “Three Winds” were the constants in his life…indeed, they had been his muses, but he didn’t even realize it until they were gone.

April Tremski was dead. It had been years since Amy or LeighAnn had been a part of his life, and for a long time, it had been sadder, and meaner for it.

Then he met Chiana. She gave him children and a sense of purpose. As they fell into and out of Love, he began to understand Stability in ways that would have been incomprehensible before he chose to devote his life to his family, to put their safety and care above his egotistical indulgences in self-expression. She was, and would forever be The One True Love of his life.

And of course the friendship between Elliott and Jed was deep, so when it was Jed who shed a single tear as he looked at both Chiana and Elliott, it seemed obvious that everyone would open their hearts sincerely to each other in both love and trust.

It only took an instant, and the uneducated eye would have barely noticed any of the almost imperceptible expressions that passed between them, and yet the rest of the group understood what they had just observed in the complete absence of words, quite eloquently.

Ever since they had arrived, Elliott had noticed that there was an odd sort of ambivalence reflected in some of his most trivial exchanges with Amy. She was quite guarded, which he interpreted as being either reluctant to give Chiana any reasons to regard her as a threat, or because she was realizing just how much she didn’t want to experience the heartaches of the past again.

She had been down that road before.

She had also experienced rejection before; and Elliott knew that it’s hard not to find the initial exhilaration of reunion suddenly replaced by resentments from the past.

She and Rebel had an amazingly intuitive relationship and it was Rebecca who wasn’t reluctant to be seen as the more aggressive of the two (with the implication that it was a group package), which might (they hoped) make the opportunity irresistible.

“Back in the day…” Amy had been Elliott’s “Chic Magnet”. It may be an arcane and sexist term by today’s standards, but the truth was that she lead more women to his bed than he ever did alone, at least at that time.

Amy had an appreciation of other women that was uncanny. It wasn’t just sexual, because she really craved to know the friendship of another woman that rivaled the friendship between Jed and Elliot.

Even though they did not have sex with each other, on many occasions, they had shared one or more women together.

At times, they realized that both Amy and Elliott compensated for their other insecurities with their considerable sexual prowess; that somehow because she feared he might grow tired of her unless she provided “the other woman” and he feared that he had to be “the stallion” that would keep her insecure and guessing, even mistrusting her own interests as a distraction from his feared ordinariness.

But in truth, they both were extraordinary people in extraordinary times. So much so that years later, they would pity anyone who hadn’t walked in their shoes.

It had been a long and crazy ride, tragically, beautifully doomed by the simple fact that back then, it was already written that in the absence of resolution, it would become finite.

Each of those lives had their own agenda, and the train was about to leave the station.

Because he chose not to make a choice, he got none.

Since Rebel also had developed a very good understanding with Chiana, they teated each other as sisters as far as Wicca and the significance of the planetary convergences occurring this weekend, but they both sensed that there was more to it than that.

Rebel later said that she figured she would “wait for the swelling to go down” before they explored the deeper and more esoteric aspects of the Moon.

She and Chiana both knew very well that each other’s agendas could reinforce themselves without conflict, and she was not shy about calling it to Chiana’s attention.

Rebel had every reason to have been the most jaded woman to ever live. As a porn star, her meteoric rise from the barefoot, superstitious, illiterate poverty of tidewater Virginia to Hollywood by way of the Adult Film Industry was tragically predictable to the point of appearing to have been scripted.

Yet although she was not shy about acknowledging her pain, as well as her toughness, her blunt frankness hid a very soft, tender heart.

When she met Elliott, she had already lost her money, gotten her heart broken repeatedly, and no longer worked in the Sex Industry. Despite this, she was surrounded by lackeys, hacks, hangers-on, and parasites. She also  was in danger of becoming addicted to opioids to counter the pain caused by a reaction to the silicone that had leaked from the breast enhancements that she felt she needed over the course of three separate, increasingly larger implants.

Now, she was so self-conscious of them that she never let anyone see them in the daylight. Anyone willing to spend the money to see them on film had well over one hundred opportunities to watch them grow dramatically, and she did not share the same modesty about her pussy.

When they had originally gotten naked yesterday after their showers, she had kept a very short cut-off tank top that was stretched so far that it was already nearly transparent. 

 

Elliott had made no attempt to hide his attraction to her back then, but it all started with a few simple acts of kindness, and words of appreciation, rather than transparent flattery that must have made him so irresistible to her.

He never tried to initiate any sexual advances despite numerous opportunities and innuendos, even when he was clearly as aroused as she was.

She had heard it all before, and done it all before (for money), but for Love, if she could have done it all over, she would have done it all over you. She was derisive of men who thought that they could seduce, conquer, or tame her, but Elliott had really gotten under her skin by not trying.

She could only stand so much of his seemingly guileless, compassionate detachment before she essentially threw herself at him.

Oddly, though he found her dark, smoldering sexuality very attractive, when the moment finally forced itself upon his consciousness, the fact was that he just didn’t have the heart to refuse her in her moment of weakness…

(Admittedly, the transition from pity to animalistic hedonism was almost instantaneous.)

It was a very short-lived romance, but the sex was breathtaking and the friendship they developed was uncanny, although when he moved from Florida, he made no attempt to contact her again.

He never did, not with anyone. He found that reminiscing about the past inevitably led to profound depression.

He dreaded even cleaning out an old desk drawer, for fear of reliving the longing, and the angst, or perhaps even the realization that he missed it so much, and remembered it too fondly, considering how much he complained and found fault with it for not living up to his expectations while he was living it.

Elliott might reminisce from time to time, but he was completely disinclined to look back, let alone go back, which sharply contrasted his present situation as it was unfolding before them all, and yet he was enthused and energized by it. 

But the true mystery…the wild card was of course, LeighAnn.

Elliott was not even sure if she had ever realized how much she had intimidated him in so many ways. 

She was focused, determined and direct, where he tended to be vague, evasive, and fickle. At the time, it was clear that she cared deeply for him, and there were many times when she seemed to be the only person (other than April) that he trusted not to try to manipulate him with psycho-drama.

It was right then that he suddenly realized that the abuse he had suffered as a child had convinced him that as much as he craved to find his equal, he consistently sought out the damaged, co-dependent women whom he eventually would grow bored, or annoyed with only to reject and sabotage everything between them.

He never intended to be a predator, but Sex was the one thing that seemed to empower him, to compensate for his endless imagined shortcomings and get away with playing the fool until they left him.

That was part of the problem. He often thought that she could see through his most elaborate ruses. She wasn’t so gullible as to drink the Cool-Aid and he didn’t believe in himself enough to think she could actually fall in love with him.

Sometimes, “back in the day…” he perceived mixed messages when she would drop off the radar for awhile, only to reappear just as sweet and affectionate as ever, but if she was ever truly enthralled by the Infatuation of The Crush, she never let it show…or maybe Elliott was too blind to acknowledge it.

Sometimes just the realization that you may be in the presence of your equal is enough to intimidate a man who’s not up for the challenge, even if he knows he will regret his cowardice later.

And now, he wasn’t even sure if he understood why she was here at all.

No one could want a better or more competent friend. There was a curious  undercurrent of what he perceived as a sly sexuality which he found most endearing. There always had been.

Last that he had heard, her ranch in Arizona was a truly self-sustaining operation; enough so that she believed that she could be spared for “awhile.”

Before the Crash, she had become a very sophisticated world traveler and bon vivant, but as far as he knew, she traveled more or less alone and there were few mentions of her spouse, one way or the other.

And yet, there was no mistaking that familiar pull, that feeling that somewhere around the next corner, they might suddenly find themselves in each other’s arms again, all the while wondering…“What?!?!”

At times, it had seemed that some kind of cosmic forces were at work, trying to keep them from connecting…like walking hand in hand around their campground at night during the Wild Hog Festival, afraid Elliott’s wife would suddenly catch them…or having Elliott’s mother-in law show up at his place in the middle of the night while his wife was spending the weekend in Jamaica with “a client,” demanding to know what was going on…or years later, when she came to visit him at his hotel, only to find him exhausted, with a high fever.

 

Certainly, it was no coincidence…yet here they were again; it would be dubious to discount whatever it was that had drawn them back into each other’s sphere of influence.

It was a delicious game of cat and mouse. He knew she was observing everyone else, including him, sizing the politics of the moment.

It was at about that time that Elliott suddenly became aware of just how transparent everything and everyone were about to become.

“Share this smoke with us now, so that our words shall be carried straight to Heaven, and there shall be no lies between us.”

(Ceremonial pipe blessing of one of tribes of the Indigenous Peoples, unknown origin)*

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

05/03/2020

      

  • (Author’s note: This was a phrase that I heard often when I was a child, but I don’t know from where it actually came.)

Once in a Blue Agave Moon; ch. 35

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Polyamory, The Knowledge of Good and Evil on April 20, 2020 by dreamlanddancing

 

The Knowledge of Good and Evil

 

As the shadows began to lengthen, the sun no longer shone straight down into the center court. As the intensity of the light under the canopy of the hanging gardens began to lessen, it was quite obvious that everyone was beginning to really see the visual effects that Amy had so meticulously described earlier in the day.

But the visual effects were pale in comparison to the mental, psychological, and emotional products of this drug.

Complex relationships between empirical data and research, theories, philosophy, and every single anecdotal experience that you may have thought was long forgotten suddenly seemed to be interconnected in ways you could not possibly assimilate or anticipate in ten lifetimes.

That is because The Knowledge had a reputation for restoring long-buried engrams and their neurological connections in a way that had been described as ‘Re-booting your Table of Contents’.

In a computer, if the Table of Contents becomes corrupted it becomes virtually impossible to access the information stored there, rendering it useless.

Human brains, on the other hand, have an ability to interpolate and draw conclusions or cross-reference data (experience) in ways not commonly possible with most computers.

But it is somewhat random or haphazard insofar as the thinker may perceive a commonality between two seemingly unrelated subjects or experiences, or simple facts that would not have been identified as being related, but with the assistance of The Knowledge, everything becomes connected.

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is based upon the concept that, for instance, by simply observing, or measuring a phenomenon, it becomes altered by the observer.

It is also further postulated that the observer may interject prejudgements or may be unable to discern the difference between allegedly causal relationships and mere synchronicity, i.e. “after this, therefore because of this” or in Latin “Sic hoc ergo propter hoc.”

And although in purely analytical and empirical terms, this is a distinct danger, it has the potential to also account for creativity and insight to which virtually all computers (at this time) are incapable.

Courtesy of The Knowledge, your ability to access everything and anything that you have either experienced or learned and connect the dots by inferring or assuming the commonality between seemingly unrelated data represents a quantum leap in human intelligence not normally possible via computers.

All neurological impulses are governed and transmitted by neurotransmission and neuromodulator chemicals, most notably acetylcholine and acetylcholinesterase.

In addition serotonin, glutamate, GABA, dopamine, and norepinephrine are linked to the thought process, anxiety, depression, and even relaxation.

Additionally, neuropeptides are responsible for regulating brain activity, including analgesia, reward, food intake, metabolism, reproduction, social behaviors, learning and memory, as well as emotional responses.

The chemist responsible for discovering the effects of what was to become called The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil was developing a next-generation antidepressant when he noticed some intriguing properties of one of the bi-products of its synthesis.

Since it was considered to be a waste product, his access to large quantities of it went completely unnoticed by the manufacturer.

After additional research and fine-tuning, several analogs and numerous isomers later, The Knowledge (the short nickname) was perfected.

A threshold dose was approximately one hundred micrograms. Within eighteen months, its creator had produced enough of it to dose the entire world daily for over one hundred years.

Since it was clear that the government would undoubtedly declare it to be a schedule one controlled substance, like LSD, MDMA, psilocybin, et al,

he decided to hide it on the grounds of a New-Age religious group called The Home for Wayward Souls, of which he was a founding member.

Between the legal complications of protection of religious freedoms and a very thorough screening process of anyone being considered to receive it, even rumors of the existence of the drug were kept to a minimum.

Regardless, even if the DEA had known what they were looking for, it is doubtful that they could ever find it, given the extensive grounds and outbuildings that comprised the entire complex, often called The Sanctuary.

Jed and his accomplices (aka: The Three Winds) had become semi-regular attendees at The Sanctuary and courtesy of his preternatural talents for barter, had acquired a considerable quantity (“Just in case…”).

Neither Merle, nor Ash would ever sell any of it, but they had a great respect for Jed and his entourage, and wanted to allow them the opportunity to help make the world a better place, which they all believed themselves to be doing.

So there they were, perched on the edge of a precipice of truly mind-boggling proportions in every direction.

Would they confirm their hopes that this was to be a positive, creative, and profitable enterprise for all parties concerned?

The unexpected chemistry between Chiana and Jed had altered their original paradigm, where it was believed that Chiana would prove to be the wild-card as far as liking and accepting everyone else, as well as their modus operandi. 

Now, there was little doubt that she and Jed would be exploring any number of possibilities, but the long-term compatibilities would take time before they could be determined.

Everyone else had already experienced the push-pull, or waxing and waning of their mutual infatuations long ago. 

Although she had proven to be an unexpectedly different sort of wild card, they wondered if Elliott would be the one having to deal with jealousy issues.

A week ago, they would have all said “Never! It’s not in his programming to be jealous.” but that seemed like a very long time ago now.

And although Elliott seemed to be cautious or guarded in terms of expressing his emotions regarding the three women who had once been lovers in past times, he was surprisingly good-natured about Chiana’s behavior with Jed.

“Wise move, Elliott” was all Leigh-Ann would allow herself to even think; she alone was the one guided more by reason than emotion, and she was definitely keeping her cards close to her chest. 

“You gotta give action if you want to get action.”

The next twenty-four hours would probably see the answers to all these questions revealed.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

04/19/2020

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: Chapter 34

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Polyamory, The Knowledge of Good and Evil on April 20, 2020 by dreamlanddancing

The Garden, the Serpent, and Eve…

 

Chiana was very proud of their garden. Although it was an unending work in progress, it was beautiful, lush, and soothing.

Elliott had defined the outer boundaries with rough-hewn upright timbers buried three feet in the earth surrounded by broken coral rock or concrete that had to be brought in as it became available while foraging, or through barter, with cement poured in around the voids to create substantial footers to support the cross-beams.

Those cross-beams supported all manner of hanging plants ranging from air plants to orchids and several varieties of ivy and climbing vines, with the plants that required the most sunlight arranged higher than the others, so as to provide shelter for the more sensitive plants as well as to provide welcome shade in several areas for flowers, plants and bushes as well as people on the ground.

The hanging gardens were predominantly located in the corners, and around the perimeter of everything. Rose bushes, boxwood, and Florida Cherry enclosed the entire garden using trellises to support the roses and various vines and climbing plants.

In the very center, a small banyan tree had been planted.

Shelves made of salvaged lumber were constructed so as to be movable, depending upon what they were intended to provide support as new or young items were being cultivated.

Paths meandered through the area between the center and the outside perimeter so as to allow for longer walks, as well as a certain feeling of isolation as much as privacy, and you could easily wander into a small side path and remain unseen to anyone unless they were right there practically next to you.

Here and there, she had placed flagstones as either markers, or a place to sit, or stand along the paths. These are not easily located in Florida and were premium items for barter unless they traveled farther up North, but most people had no use for them, in favor of items more suited for everyday survival.

And seen in that light, it was easy to understand Elliott and Chiana’s reservations about needing much of anything. Survival was no longer on the table. 

They were comfortable, at least for now, but Nature abhors a vacuum, and Change is endemic to all life.

The whole area was probably no more than about seventy-five by one hundred feet, but once inside, it seemed much larger, but most inviting to those who enjoyed it.

Chiana led the way to the center of the garden and the other five followed, or rather, wandered behind her. It was clear that everyone was beginning to experience the effects of The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

Call it foreshadowing, or symbolism, but it was Rebel who suddenly said “You know, if I didn’t know better, I would think that I was in the Garden of Eden right now.”

Chiana came up beside Rebel as she was speaking and very slyly said “Well thank you Rebecca, I’m quite flattered to hear you say that. This has become both my sanctuary and my primary focus of my best and most creative abilities and efforts.”

“But tell me just one thing, my dear…Who is to be the Serpent, and who shall be Adam? Chiana leaned toward Rebel as if inquiring in confidence, but it was a stage whisper intended for everyone.

“I don’t mean to sound pretentious, but it should be obvious that Elliott and Chiana are Adam and Eve…” LeighAnn suggested.

“After all, it’s their garden” she added.

“Which means that Jed would be The Serpent?…or am I making too much symbolism out of all this?” Chiana’s eyes sparkled with mischief, and there was a decidedly ‘psychedelic’ gleam across her face as she spoke.

If she thought that everybody didn’t already know where this was headed, she was definitely misinformed.

Jed, LeighAnn, Amy, and Rebel could not have anticipated Chiana’s infatuation with Jed any more than they could have foreseen the events that had finally led them here in the first place.

Samhain (Sauin), a Blood Moon, and a Blue Moon were predicted to occur tonight in conjunction with a Lunar Eclipse. The number of coincidences that have to be in play for this to happen at the same time are so rare that it only occurs once in many, many years….

It was to be a Necromancer’s Honeymoon…The Witch’s Woodstock…the Apex of the Occult…

And out here, on the edge of the Everglades, you could feel the pulsations of pure energy. The animals were animated and emboldened, but no more especially aggressive than usual.

After all, the Cycle of Life never takes a holiday. One Man’s Meat… is an

other animal’s leg, or ribs…or head…and vice-versa.

Chiana was indeed a daughter of the Moon, and had been anticipating this weekend for over a year. Although usually a very gracious hostess all by herself, since she and Rebecca had bonded over their mutual practice of Wicca, she had no fears about her own agenda being interrupted by any outsiders…

…Except for yet another agenda she was hoping to conjure with one Mr. Jedediah Drummond, and even that was already ‘in the cards’, and would (she hoped) only be heightened by these celestial alignments, and The Knowledge…

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

04/19/2020

Once in a Blue Agave Moon: chapter 33

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, The Knowledge of Good and Evil on April 10, 2020 by dreamlanddancing

 

What Amy didn’t know was that as her hair fanned out, it was just then that Elliott was beginning to experience the first visual effects of The Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

The expansion of Time resulted in seeming to slow down everything he observed around him, like watching a slow motion replay of an explosion.

He later reflected that it seemed as if his “scanning rate” had rapidly accelerated as frame by frame, everything else was being broken down into a series of smaller, yet slower intervals.

Amy’s rich chestnut hair eventually seemed to be standing straight out in all directions. The movements were so slow and minute that they were barely perceptible. Everything about her seemed to glow from within, creating an aura, like a halo that shimmered with neon highlights that slowly were being flung off of her.

“…Elliott?…hey Boss! Are you coming, or not?”

“Hell, I’m not even breathing hard. Why?”

“Be patient El…I meant are you going outside? …Whoah! You’re already getting off, aren’t you?…I can see it on your face, and in your eyes…can you walk?” Amy chuckled and she took on an almost motherly tone.

“I hadn’t given it much thought…at least until just now when you asked. Maybe I should try to stand up to see. Would you mind spotting me?” Elliott winked as he offered up his forearm parallel to the floor like an elderly woman stopped at a street corner waiting for a Boy Scout to escort her across.

Elliott then began to notice that he could hear the sounds of their voices splashing off the walls, resulting in a delay causing time/phase/frequency comb filtering, a barely discernible metallic ring, and a deeper, more resonant thickening of her voice caused by the heterodyne of the sum and difference of the combinations of the frequencies being resonated within the room.

As they stood up together Elliott closed his eyes and smiled.

“Can you hear it? …or is that just me?” he asked.

“Our voices, or our thoughts? Be prepared to bare the depths of your soul today; to become of ‘One Mind’ is to keep no secrets.”

Amy paused slightly before she added “I trust you to understand that without fear…the only times that I have ever seen anyone struggle with it was because they were in denial about themselves, or their present circumstances…pretty much like acid in that respect.”

She paused again to give Elliott a moment to process the concept.

This was the first that Amy had really engaged in such unfettered candor or even direct dialogue between them since she had arrived, and in so doing, risk betraying those long-lost feelings that were bubbling up to the surface.

She remembered that years ago, when they had sought professional advice for couples therapy how much he valued unfiltered honesty.

“Right this minute, just hearing everything with new ears is taking up just about all of my attention…but then again…” Elliott’s voice trailed off as a new sensation overwhelmed his attention.

“My sense of smell…it’s quite extraordinary, really…” again his voice trailed off as he found himself raising his nose slightly as he flared his nostrils and turned his head  slowly left and right like a dog testing the air for a scent.

Then he suddenly smiled broadly as he stared into Amy’s eyes.

“All right. I know what you’re doing…” as Amy spoke, she reached out to touch Elliot’s face. “A penny for your thoughts right now, baby…what is it?”

Elliott closed his eyes as he spoke “I can…I can…well, smell your pussy! And it’s quite wonderful, really…I mean…”

“You don’t have to explain…I already knew…and I’m not embarrassed at all, because I can already begin to hear your thoughts. It may take awhile to get used to it, and to learn to trust your instincts, and to act upon your intuition.”

A flood of very happy memories flashed between them in an instant as Elliott opened his eyes to stare directly into Amy’s hazel eyes as a tear ran down her face.

It was like a high-speed photomontage of long-forgotten memories of days long gone.

“What’s up, Doc?” Rebel whispered into Elliott’s ear, startling him.

As he turned to face her, he realized she was across the room, sitting in a chair, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. He could even hear her purr, in fact.

“If you try, I’d be willing to bet that you can also smell my cooter from way over there…recognize it?” (Rebel had this way of turning her face slightly downwards as she looked up at you smiling slyly and slightly wickedly.)

“As best I can recollect, you really enjoyed that more than most…but then again, we all thought you were part hound dog in more ways than one” she drawled so slowly he thought he might forget what she was saying before she got to the end of the sentence if her eyes and thoughts hadn’t already delivered the message in an instant.

And she was rarely ever misunderstood.

“Time to get moving to the garden, boys and girls. I think we can all really benefit from the change of atmosphere.” LeighAnn was clearly the designated den-mother of these, her cubs…at least for now.

As Elliott turned to go to the door, he suddenly noticed the beatific expression on Chiana’s face as she stared into Jed’s eyes.

“Well I can see that there’s no point in trying to keep any secrets around here today…not that there ever was in the first place,” he mused.

It would be wrong to try to deny that he didn’t feel a pang, or maybe even a pinch, a twinge, perhaps, but it wasn’t jealousy; it was more of an exhilaration, like the drop on a roller coaster, a very fast elevator, or a small private plane, followed by a strange sadness he hadn’t really anticipated, and couldn’t really explain.

He had always maintained that it was in moments like this that he learned his most valuable lessons about his true feelings, and also when he felt most alive.

He was often known for saying “Don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I don’t care… it’s just that I don’t mind.” but most outsiders had no clue as to what he really meant by that, although it was really said for the benefit of those who already knew.

To those who did, he also often said “Call it whatever you want, but whatever it is that I feel in that one clear moment, I know just exactly how deeply I love you, how much I really want you, and how much I want to encourage you to pursue all of your desires with my blessing.”

And he had said it surprisingly often.

Elliott now found himself surrounded by a phalanx of women leading him to the garden as his eyes met Chiana’s. He watched her face betray first a slightly guilty embarrassment, followed by that same twinge that he had just experienced watching her, and then the most beautifully knowing smile of Moksha by way of Satsang.

“Just like the old days…right, ‘Doc’?” Elliott suddenly realized that he had just heard her thoughts, but it was definitely Chiana’s voice he was hearing, despite the fact that her lips never moved as she winked at him.

One Mind indeed.

“And things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

April 8th, 2020

Friday the Thirteenth

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Janitor To The Temple Of The Holy Of Holies, Much Too Good For Children, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on March 13, 2020 by dreamlanddancing

…so I wake up hearing a voice whispering “Oh shit! Here we go again…why can’t we just go back to sleep?”

“Indeed. In fact, why bother to wake up at all?” I found myself replying, albeit sarcastically.

(I suddenly realize that at this point, I am engaged in clever repartee with myself.)

And it was then that I realized that I was only dreaming.

Nevertheless, I found myself deeply disturbed that such notions were in my head at all.

Yes it was only a dream, but apparently, dark impulses must be generated from within, but why?

One year was enough…too much in fact…for either recuperation or morning. Life was slipping through my fingers…as if trying to cup my hands to catch my own blood.

I was suddenly overcome by anxiety, as I felt my chest tighten and I became short of breath, as if suffocating.

It was then that I realized that I was only dreaming.

So I went to my long forgotten mistress, my muse, the keyboard, with whom so much time had passed, so long ago.

Initially, she rebuffed my advances, shamed me, questioned my motives, and demanded to know my intentions; jealous and hurt, she nonetheless reluctantly consented to physical congress, although it was really her affections that I had missed the most.

Go figure.

The longer that I tried to express myself, the further down the rabbit hole I fell.

I fell so far that it felt like I was flying, and suddenly I was.

It was then that I realized that I had only been dreaming….

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
さよなら絶望先生
(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

Namasté
नमस्ते

Sukhino Bhava
सुखिनोऽभव)

Chazz Vincent
Friday, the 13th of March, 2020

OIABAM: Indeterminacy, chapter31

Posted in Enhanced and Fortified non-fiction, Mature Theme, Much Too Good For Children, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on September 20, 2019 by dreamlanddancing

 

His best friend, a retired porn star he had once rescued long ago, two of the great loves of his life, and his wife…now thoroughly infatuated with his best friend.

All the necessary ingredients for a really complicated Daisy-Chain of Karma.

With all the commotion and uproar since their arrival, it was in the occasional odd quiet moments that he realized how much Amy’s sudden appearance had managed to preoccupy increasingly larger portions of Elliott’s most private thoughts.

Amy Rogers; originally of Miami Beach, of late a true Mondo Civitano.

Her intellect at least matched (perhaps even exceeded) Elliott’s, which not only hypnotized him when they first met, but he soon began to realize just how shrewd she had been since they had arrived.

When she called him “Boss” over the radio, he couldn’t have been more stunned, and once it sank in that it really was her, he was overcome with emotion, realizing that he might just “choke” (cry) when he saw her, (absolutely not acceptable in his world), but instead she managed to slip back and forth between distraction (with Rebel’s help) and just enough familiarity to provoke speculation without showing her hand.

(It never occurred to Elliott that Amy might be just as apprehensive about direct, sincere, or emotional interaction as he was.)

She had been like a fan-dancer, showing only as much as she chose, all the while implying…hinting…alluding to so much more.

Up until she had explained some of the visual experiences associated with The Knowledge…, she had also scrupulously avoided exposing either her mind, or the depth of her character, or how well-cultured she really was, but to Elliott, it had been conspicuous in its absence.

She knew that he would be expecting her to reveal her intentions, all the while playing coy, ever the coquette, avoiding direct interactions with Elliott, and using Jeannette Rogers, her “twin sister of different mothers and fathers” (aka Rebel, Rebecca Steele, and about a dozen other aliases) as bait to sweeten the deal, much like she had done so many times before, so long ago, without having to risk outright rejection.

…Not a second time, and he knew it, having had so many years to ponder if it had been a mistake to let her walk away the first time.

They both pretended it was mutual, even though neither of them wanted it to end, each hoping the other would intercede; both of them regretting that they hadn’t, even as they were doing it…Ah! Pride….

In the bigger scheme of things, they probably had a metric shit-ton of Karma to burn off first…and other fish to fry…but this had been unresolved for so long; long gone, but not forgotten…just sent to a dormant wing of each others’ brains that had been shut down since that acid trip at the Pink Floyd concert.

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

09/20/2019

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei 

さよなら絶望先生

(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

 

Once in a Blue Agave Moon; Indeterminacy: Chapter 30

Posted in Dangerous and Unsavory ideas that are possibly harmful to the weak-mided and overly simplistic and religious, Much Too Good For Children, Novel, Once in a Blue Agave Moon, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone on August 31, 2019 by dreamlanddancing

 

 

They had been The Three Musketeers ‘back in the day’…when everybody else lost their minds in an emergency, you could always count on them to pull the fat out of the fire.

But if it suited their nature at any given moment, any of them, but especially all three of them together were capable of a level of good-natured depravity, debauchery, and perversion that was breath-taking to just observe, let alone experience.

Elliott, Jed, and Leigh-Ann….

They continued to watch and analyze the group as they interacted and reacted together.

“I think this is going to work out after all” Jed breathed an obvious sigh of relief that would have made you think he’d been holding his breath since he had arrived.

I knew that it would” was all that Leigh-Ann would smugly allow. She could bluster and bluff with the best of them, even when neither of them believed it.

It was at that moment that Elliott realized it suddenly felt like the familiarity had returned; like she had just driven over from Hialeah after a week’s unexplained absence.

They had an uncanny ability to get sooo close…only to disconnect for no real apparent reason without any animosity or need for explanations when they reconnected.

I’m almost afraid to breathe…honest-to-Christ! I don’t think I could have imagined anything more perfect than to spend ‘the end of the world as we knew it’ than with you guys…but I don’t know if you knew how much this means to me…” Elliott confessed.

“Are you kidding?” Leigh-Ann almost whispered incredulously. “With all the seemingly impossible coincidences BEFORE we learned that we were on YOUR trail?” She grabbed his face to turn it to face her as she looked intently into his eyes and said “After all that, we didn’t so much know as much as we BELIEVED it was meant to be…and if something is truly meant to be, it doesn’t really matter if you WANT it or not, because Destiny has just issued you notice of a command performance.”

It was then that she quickly pulled his face to hers until they were nose-to-nose just long enough for her to whisper “…besides….” only to suddenly turn and mumble something he couldn’t quite hear clearly enough to allow himself to be sure he’d heard it properly….

It was one of her best moves; Elliott could be one difficult, cocky, quirky motherfucker at times (although he’d shown no evidence of any of that since their arrival), this technique never failed to level the playing field between them.

They always worked well together, but they also played as well as they worked.

One thing just seemed to follow the other, and they all knew that before the day was over, they would watch it all unfold in front of them.

“Time to get to work….hahahah…just kidding…this will be the easiest thing in the world…”. Jed held the bottle of brilliant, deep blue capsules aloft.

“…Like drinking a glass tea…” Amy winked playfully at Elliott, knowing he would catch the decades-old reference to old world Miami Beach.

“Line up to take yer vitamins, kids” Rebel drawled.

Amy slid on her knees right up to Jed as she opened her mouth, stuck out her tongue and posed her hands, forearms upwards, palms down, like a puppy begging for a treat.

With that, Rebel walked up beside Amy and stroked her hair as Amy rubbed her head against Rebel’s thigh. The pantomime between those two was uncanny…very ‘one mind.’

“My best advice would be to let it dissolve under your tongue. Just leave it alone to melt away. It will get into your system quicker.” Leigh-Ann’s instructions were a mixture of part nurse, part tour-guide/stewardess.

“It’s best not to expect much of anything especially dramatic or overwhelming at first, at least. This is nothing like acid. Expect nothing and gain the wisdom of the universe in the process. You can’t anticipate it, so don’t even try” Jed advised as he dropped a capsule into Amy’s still open mouth onto her extended tongue.

“You may notice a point where it will start to seem like whatever you are watching will begin to melt, especially if you let your eyes unfocus slightly” Amy added as she turned to face Elliott and Chiana.

“At first, the forms themselves may seem to melt, like ‘The Persistence of Memory’ by Salvatore Dali, only to eventually present with two or more alternative views, depending on foreground versus background or ambiguous outlines and alternate forms, like ‘Bowl of Fruit and Saddleback Hound’…not to pick on Dali….”

As Amy’s voice began to trail off, Jed added “There is also a  distinct possibility that what you observe visually will provoke certain ideations, philosophical or even scientific hypothesis that seem to be supported by your newly acquired visual perceptions.”

“You may notice that you can recall exact details and sequences of events that you had thought long forgotten, only to juxtaposition them in such a way as to imply interrelationships between those events or actions that had heretofore remained unnoticed.”

Leigh-Ann continued “The insights provided in this fashion will forever change the way that you perceive everything around you.”

Chiana had gracefully managed to slide into second position as she bent over sharply at the waist, like a nineteen-forties pin-up, raising her head to open her mouth and stick out her tongue, winking at Jed as she seemed to unroll her tongue like some red carpet that led straight to the center of the universe.

Chiana had absolutely no gag reflex whatsoever, and even doctors were usually taken aback or even slightly startled as they stared down her throat, inevitably triggering speculation leading to naughty fantasies of ‘unfathomable’ (please pardon the pun)…oral sex.

As Jed watched the brilliant blue capsule disappear into the cavernous void of her open throat, everyone watched Jed suddenly sprout a truly monstrous erection in less than two seconds.

Two men and four women, all naked as jaybirds since yesterday, who had seemed to only skirt the outer edges of raw visceral sexuality suddenly burst into hysterical laughter as Jed blushed a florid hue, not so much by the erection as by this inarguably obvious expression of the inevitable product of his attraction for Chiana.

As they did, everyone else availed themselves of The Fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

And (please forgive me, but…) with a name like that, it had BETTER be not just good, but fucking amazing.

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/30/2019

 

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