Observations of a Recovering Buddhist…(what?!?!)

 

What is a ‘Recovering Buddhist’?

No God, no Buddha.

No Heaven, no Hell.

No Sin, no Salvation.

Nothing Sacred, nothing Profane.

No mind.

No data.

No facts.

No information.

No knowledge.

No truth.

No wisdom.

No beauty.

No love.

No music.

Only the Knowing.

“Wu.”

A lifetime spent sitting at the feet of the Buddha cannot replace one second of unvarnished experience.

All facts are simply interpretations awaiting to be disproved.

The Dharma cannot be transmuted by anyone.

The Buddha never told anyone to become Buddhists, any more than Christ ever told anyone to become Christians.

It has often and long been said that “If you should meet the Buddha while traveling along the road, you should kill him and feed his body to a hungry dog.”

If you understand what this means you understand “Wu!”

No Religion.

Understanding is the difference between Knowledge and the Knowing.

Authenticity requires Living by Dharma Action.

Everyday Zen hangs poised in the ever-present/never-present present moment as Nothing Special is revealed, a small sliver of blinding Insight passes through us; holding onto nothing, we gain the entire universe.

Desiring to attain Enlightenment or seeking Attainment is like trying to swallow an entire elephant in one bite…or trying to hit the moon with a stick.

Enlightenment is not the Eternal Kiss of True Love.

No Enlightenment.

No Zen.

Just this, only this.

Each day, as I arise, The Ten thousand Things attempt to obfuscate The One.

If all things return to the One, to where does the One return?

Zero.

And when at last, the One finally returns to Zero, there will be no more sadness, no more suffering, with no one left to mourn our passing.

“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is….”

I heard someone say “It’s a destination to make the journey worthwhile.”

More often I have heard “It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.”

I am on a journey that makes the destination irrelevant.

Fish swim with the tides, in and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from and flows back into the sea.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/27/2018

Retrospective or Requiem? Well, that just Depends. Pt VI

My first novel was a recapitulation of the horrors of my experiences in emergency medical rescue.

The second proved to be a semi-prophetic fantasy that grew out of my need for more understanding of the nature of Sentience, as well as a lampoon of how corporate greed and excess has permitted Benefit Managers to highjack the entire healthcare industry.

As the dramatic action of the narrative plot of the second novel began to unfold, I noticed that what seemed to follow in my personal life I now perceive to be more synchronicity than prophesy.

Similarly, the third novel continues to unfold, and I am starting to become aware that there is a distinct possibility that what I write will precede events destined to take place in my life, not so much because the writings will cause those events, but more likely that my awareness of certain truths are themselves caused by circumstances set in motion before my parents were ever born.

So in case anyone other than the one follower of my posts here that bothered to ask has noticed my seemingly inconspicuous absence from these pages, all I can say is “I’m feeling much better now….”

A baby bird fell from its nest while its parents were gathering food. It was quite bitter and cold, and a young farm boy heard the baby bird’s cries for help.

Unable to return the bird to its lofty perch, the boy spotted a very warm, gooey pile of cow shit beneath the tree, so he made a hole in the center, placed the bird in it, and pushed the shit all around the tiny bird to help keep it warm, and left.

The almost featherless baby bird was feeling much better, and began to sing out of sheer joy.

The bird’s song was eventually heard by a hungry fox, who tore it from the pile of shit by the head and ate it.

Sometimes, it is good to remember that it is not always your enemies that get you into the shit you’re in, and it’s not always your friends who get you out of it, but if you are warm and comfortable…keep your big mouth shut.

So…I guess it all just depends.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei…

Sayonara Y’all….

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

04/21/2018

Retrospective or Requiem? Well, that just Depends. Pt. II

The things we desire may turn into suffering, but the suffering itself may lead us to the Palace of Wisdom.

A life devoid of desire serves little purpose or motivation, but what we desire, and how we pursue those desires will determine the quality of our lives and our suffering so that we may rejoice in all of it.

Several years ago, I was forced to give up one of the great loves of my life in order to regain the greatest love of my life.

For more than two years, the sadness of that loss threatened to overcome me. I was forced to break the heart of another lost soul who had herself resuscitated me, as well as my marriage. 

It also propelled my drive to finish the second novel.

When it all began, I was despondent and lonely; my Eternal Beloved had proclaimed that she no longer loved me.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a disarmingly beautiful, tall, and slender young woman who sat next to me began a friendship that turned into a “work spouse” affair that grew into something much more than that.

What touched me most was how sweet and generous she was to me. I could detect no visible pretense or guile in anything she said or did, and her loving nature was as genuine as I had ever encountered. 

She loved the million-dollar words I used. She made me feel like the handsomest smartest, and funniest man she had ever met.

She made me feel loved again, and suddenly, my relationship with my wife was renewed.

I had been honest with her about my new friendship, and we were already no strangers to exploring physical sexual relationships when the opportunities presented themselves, but when she realized that my paramour and I had emotional feelings for each other, I was faced with an ultimatum I was unprepared to accept.

It was either one or the other, but not both. No compromise, no discussion. So much for Polyamory.

In one day, three hearts were broken, but in the process, my wife and I re-discovered each other, and the woman who saved us both went into rehab.

I had turned a blind eye to her alcoholism, and perhaps my love had enabled her affliction, but I suspect that the pain of rejection was enough to prompt her to seek help.

It had been the end of the happiest year of my life until I finally realized that the sweetness and joy I had been shown would always be mine; it was something that no one else could ever take from me…not even her.

I was forced to let go of everything in order to learn how to hold onto the feelings, rather than just the circumstantial situations or people, so that they should remind me what is loving, true, and beautiful.

If one is fortunate enough to recognize the arc of one’s life, and wise enough not to try to hold onto the past with excessive rumination there is potential to discover some degree of purpose, or motivation running through the narrative we somehow believe we are writing, at least until we finally come to recognize that we are mere actors, or perhaps more accurately, impostors attempting in vain to emulate the beings we aspire to become.

It is only then that we can attain any degree of authenticity.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei…

Sayonara Y’all….

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

06/21/2018

Retrospective or Requiem? Well, that just Depends.

Some of you may have noticed my relative absence during the last two years, or perhaps not….

This started as an explanation of sorts, but now has become long enough to deserve being turned into something resembling a bi-line, much like “On Letting Go” a few years ago. 

There is an old Zen story about a man who discovers that a fine thoroughbred stallion had wandered onto his property.

His friends and neighbors remarked “How fortunate you are to have this happen.”

His reply to such matters was always the same. “Well, that just depends.”

No one seemed to really understand what he meant, until his son attempted to tame the wild stallion, and in the process broke his leg.

Everyone who came to visit remarked what a terrible calamity it was that his son had been injured, especially since the old man depended so much on his son to help him tend his farm.

Again, his only reply was, “Well that just depends.”

At this point, no one, including his son, understood the meaning behind his words. Some were even offended or angered by his seemingly callous reply. His humor was so wry that it was not unusual they did not divine many of his remarks. 

Several days later, a local warlord arrived at the village where they lived. As he went from house to house to seek able-bodied men to conscript into service for his army to prepare for a terrible war that was being waged, he came upon the old man’s injured son, who was determined to be unfit for battle.

When his neighbors came to congratulate them on his good fortune, when they again heard him say “Well, that just depends” one of the exasperated visitors shouted “On What?” 

“We’ll just have to see” was all he said.

The last two and a half years have been like a rabbit-hole down a rabbit-hole.

It has been my experience that the really valuable episodes of growth or epiphany were preceded by either significant injury or illness, or deep personal loss…and pain.

It seems that the worst brings out the best in us. It all just depends on how you look at it.

Suffice it to say that I have been blessed by a series of events that have provided me with numerous opportunities for personal growth and enlightenment. 

So I guess we’ll just have to see.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei…

Sayonara Y’all….

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

06/21/2018

Just One Thought

Just One Thought

can spoil a lifetime

of Present Moments;

One Mind,

One Thought,

One Moment

can drown out

all the voices

of all the

Bodhisattvas,

बोधिसत्त्व

all of the

Patriarch’s,

पत्रिअर्च्ह्स्

and

all the Buddhas.

Bउद्धस्

***********************************************************************

It can obfuscate

all Wisdom

and Instincts

felt and known

(rather than

postulated,

elucidated,

and pronounced)

within

a mind obsessed

with

narrations,

utterances,

labels

and schemes

designed to seduce

your attentions

away

from

what is obvious

only

to those

who possess

Mu-Shin,

unclouded

by

Duality,

Fear,

or

Suffering.

***********************************************************************

One Thought

destroys

the Present Moment,

which neither leaves

nor arrives;

in so doing

it destroys

everything.

***********************************************************************

One thought,

conspicuous in its absence,

and

obvious

in its utterance;

creating something

out of nothing

when Nothing was

all that was needed

in the absence

of

a Witness

silently observing

a witness…

witnessing

the truths

that cannot be spoken

or comprehended

by the mind.

***********************************************************************

One Thought

Within

One Mind

for One

Moment 

is

all it takes

to create

All

The Suffering

In All the World

in the

Here and Now

which is

all there is,

ever has been,

or will be

…forever….

***********************************************************************

Namaste

नमस्ते

I bow to the divine in you.

 I honor the place in you

in which

the entire universe dwells.

I honor the place in you

which is of love, light,

peace and joy.

When you

are in that place 

in you

and I

am in that place

in me,

We Are One.

नमस्ते

നമസ്കാരം

வணக்கம்

নমস্কাৰ)

প্রণাম

নমস্কার)

ప్రణామము

దండము

ನಮಸ್ಕಾರಗಳು

ನಮಸ್ಕಾರ)

 

Chazz Vincent

02/04/2017

How do I Feel? (revisited)

How do I Feel about my World Today?

Who is Asking the Question?

Today’s Mantra.

Before I get in touch with My Gratitude, I feel the need to assess my current condition in terms that better lend themselves to self awareness as a way of exercising the Ever Questioning Mind.

Something to gnaw on while doing T’ai-Chi Ch’uan perhaps.

Once you see the illusion of life as well as its impermanence as we experience the Folly of it all, it is easier to choose which path to take at any given moment, as one might a hat or a pair of shoes.

This is not to rule out emotional considerations. They are a part of the equation, just not all of it.

I just ran across an old quote by Kurt Vonnegut. He was giving advice on how to write and called the semi-colon(s) “Transexual Hermaphrodites”. …as if that was something bad…at least that’s the way most of the critics of the day viewed it; however, only one source I found noted that his next statement was that in case no one knew if he was kidding, “…from now on, I’ll tell you when I am kidding.”

There is excitement in illusion, in intrigue and in the commission of The Act (whatever it is).

Kurt would not like my works, I think. Most of his advice goes completely against the way I write. OK, I get that.

I think I like the semi-colon more than ever, viewing it in the light Vonnegut suggests; and I also disagree that one cannot fragment and creatively use words in the fashion that John Coltrane or Pablo Picasso might with notes or paint. James Joyce already did that in Finnegan’s Wake, after all.

I want the reader to feel like they fell down the rabbit hole. (That’s where all the good [fun] stuff is).

By the time they reach the bottom they will have everything they need to know to figure it out for themselves…of course, they already do… even if they don’t know they know it yet.

Or maybe that’s just me.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/14/2015

 

 

 

How do I Feel?

How do I Feel about my World Today?

Then ask Why? seven times….

(Kaizen.)

Who is Asking these Questions?

And who answers?

Today’s Mantra…maybe.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

10/14/2915

 

 

 

I still get Hungry…

I still get Hungry…
I enjoy being Hungry…
because
I also enjoy being Satiated…
…to consume….
…to be consumed….
I love Anticipation.
But most of all,
I want
for you to want me.
The question remains
“How much Drama
will this Dharma cost?”
“How much must we pay to play?”
I understand
that suffering follows
all desires.
But as long as
I know the price
and still desire to
Joyously
pursue Joy,
as even the arrow
pursues the intention
one cannot willfully
eschue
pleasure before it is sated.
Only then can you step aside
of your desires.
It is only then
that we proclaim
our noblest of intentions
nonetheless
inspired by an altogether otherwise
sort of fire
now alight in our chests
which once smoldered
in our nether-most regions.

I like also to feel
the rumble in my stomach
as hunger
overwhelms
all other desires
or intentions,
and I become the Hunter
and the Hunted
by choice of will, or passion,
or instinct
and strength.
I choose to live.
I choose to love…
not easy fairy-tale
puppy-love
as fragile
as a wood-nymph’s wing,
No…
this is tough and leather-clad
Love
astride
our engines of pleasure
sparked by impulse,
horsepower fueled by desire
compelled by instinct
injecting lust
supercharged with anticipation
undaunted by fear.
Poised and ready
for a
high-speed run
along the beach at night,
every lamp on high beam
penetrating the darkness
and the smell of Ocean in our hair.

As long as I still
enjoy the twenty-story
elevator shaft drop
just as much as
that accelerating ascent
that always preceedes it,
I’ll surf the waves
as best I can.
Until then…
until serenity
surplants enthusiasm,
…perhaps
some other time,
perhaps then….
when I no longer
enjoy being hungry.

As five hundred
lifetimes
come and go
in the batting of an eyelash,
we’ll meet again,
and if we don’t turn out
to be just as ignorant
and foolish
as we are now
it will be a miracle
to be celebrated
Here and Now
just as if we already had.
Let’s face it…
we both desearve it
just by wanting it
enough to pay the price.
Bound by Desire
a prisonser of Passion,
Every Hungry Woman
dreams
of the whipping-post.
Every Slave
loves
the collar.
Tomorrow’s Bodhisattva,
बोधिसत्त्व
is
Today’s
Post-Neo Dharma-Bum.

Namasté
नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent
05/30/2015