Archive for the Satire Category

An Interesting Coincidence?

Posted in coincidences, Random Observations, recycling vs. plagerism, Satire, Second Amendment Rights with tags on January 6, 2014 by dreamlanddancing

An Interesting Coincidence?

You may remember a post I wrote on December 29th entitled: “This Theater of the Mind”. I wrote it the day before my mother died.

It is a very volatile screed for mature audiences only (what else would you expect from the likes of me?) It deals in a very roundabout way how we make choices of dress and associations that shape the character of our actions, demeanor, and thoughts.

It also questions how limited or pre-determined our behaviors and thinking become, based on those choices. The examples I used revolved around the Kink/Fet, BD/SM, and GLBT communities (One should write about what one knows…), and a warm-up paragraph about our choices of religions, Sin, and Punishments, as a satire.

Imagine my surprise to find a post entitled “The Theater of the Mind” dated December 4th by another author in my reader. I must admit I have no idea why his work is in my reader, (other than the fact that I chose to follow him for reasons totally unknown to me now) because we could not possibly be farther afield from each other, and true to form, the body of his post bears absolutely no resemblance to my work in either style or content.

He did, however quote Shakespeare’s “All the world (or Life) is a stage…” in his opening, as I did, albeit with a different twist.

I was not offended. Although I Googled and Wikkied “Theater of the Mind”, I did not find any cross-references to it, but nonetheless do not consider it to be especially original, because it probably isn’t.

I often have been known to include references to song lyrics or titles and catchphrases of some particular era, or even what one reader called a “shout-out” to Dr. Who when I made a metaphor about the Targus (referencing something that it larger on the inside than on the outside).

The reader responded to it very positively, and in the course of our discourse, I explained how there were also two other references to both a very beloved author, and one of his works, for which he thanked me profusely, once he looked those up. What one may call a “shout-out” I consider to be an “homage”.

Some days, it seems like all existence is one giant allegorical reference.

If I was writing a research paper or treatise of some kind, I would be obligated to quote my source, etc. or risk charges of plagiarism.

Thankfully, so-called “original” or “creative” writing is not so encumbered, at least in the most modern genre, especially considering recent court rulings on practices like “sampling” (in the Music Industry), for instance.

“Re-blogging” a piece, does not even require the permission of the author. Indeed, the rules have changed drastically, probably for the better.

As many of you know, I am very fond of sharing all manner of things….

I made a comment to his post, calling attention to the “coincidence”, which he briefly approved, then removed. He has not, as of yet, seen fit to reply.

I sent him this comment:

“Theater of the Mind?”…What an interesting co-incidence…Please feel free to read my post of December 29th entitled “This Theater of the Mind”. Although we start with the same title, and interestingly enough, the same reference to Shakespeare’s “All the world (or life) is a stage”, that is indeed where the similarity ends.

Curious…just to see how far afield we could be with the same start. We must come from similar backgrounds somewhere long ago, because you make frequent references to similar metaphors I heard as a child. (Like the Bottle/Lobotomy thing).

Your reference to “the living sacrifice” of Romans 12:1/2 would lead me to believe you to be a pious man, so you may NOT want to read my post, on second thought… (It is always my intention to avoid giving offense, and there is none intended.)

Then again, I have also been known to say that “great minds surf the same gutters”…

Please allow me to introduce myself…Mr. D.

“There are no co-incidences, there are no accidents” (The Celestine Prophecy)

My point is this: Based on my (very limited and biased) understanding of quantum mechanics, we are in a time loop (infinity) that is constantly recycling and converting the same matter and energy. There is nothing new anywhere.

When we die, our energy is released back into the Universe. In this sense, we are immortal. Every encoded engram of thought is energy that can neither be created nor destroyed, and (I am told) every sperm contains thirty-seven point five megabytes of information. (…maybe that is why I am so very fond of sharing information, btw…).

I was also a licensed amateur radio operator and an improvisational musician. I think our brains work like receivers for those bits of energy, and how we assimilate and assemble those bits of energy and information is what gives us our (semi) unique character as an assemblage of ideas.

It’s all recycled immortality.


This Theater of the Mind

Posted in A Dirty Mind is A Terrible Thing To Waste, Confessions of a Mad Philosopher, Dancing in Dreamland, Dirty, Dominance and Submission, Enhanced and Fortified non-fiction, Enhanced and Fortified non-fiction, Explicit Sexual Language, Fornicating, Fun, Humor, Imp Of The Perverse, Jantor To The Temple Of The Holy of Holies, Mature Theme, Memoires of a Post-Neo Dharma Bum, Much To Good For Children, Much Too Good For Children, Philosophical Sexuality, Philosophical Sexuality, Polyamory, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, Primate Romance/Adventure, Random Observations, Sacrilege, Satire, Sex, Sexual Action/Adventure, The Home For Wayward Souls, The Id, The Talking Monkeys, Theater of the Mind, Vagina, What You Have Conjured Up, Witchcraft, Zen with tags , , , , , , on December 30, 2013 by dreamlanddancing


This Theater of the Mind

All the world’s is a stage…(that we’re going through)…and we are all players in this Theater of the Mind….

I was wondering the other day if people ever choose their religions by what sins they would be committing when they do commit them?

I suppose that if a man (or woman) can choose their own poison, they should also be allowed to choose their own punishment….

(Imagine, in my perfect world, a guy goes to confession… he says to the priest “Father, forgive me…I masturbated five times a day last week.”, What should I do as an act of contrition? whereupon the priest says…”Look…here’s One Hundred Dollars…go downtown and pick up a Catholic hooker named Rose Flannigan…you’ll recognize her right away…she’s a ginger with freckles and carrot-top red hair…and take her to dinner, and treat her really nicely before you fuck her…it will do you both a world of good…she needs the money and the validation, and you need to get out more.”)

I mean, virtually any life any of us chooses to live is essentially an acceptance of certain codified rules and laws that determine what a priori assumptions and conditions must be present to support one view of reality, and almost all of it seems to be someone else’s invention…like gown-ups playing children in adult clothes, only with less imagination.

Whether you are a Hell’s Angel or an investment banker, your mode of dress and behaviors are rather rigidly pre-determined if you desire safe passage through the realms of either.

This is what separates cannibal headhunters from family court attorneys, even though on the surface, many of their behaviors are remarkably similar, but ah! I digress….

What concerns me the most is why most Western religions hate sex so much, worship virginity, preach abstinence, and generally eschew Fun? Why are we so quick to condemn behaviors that naturally satisfy our most basic needs and desires?

What would our world be like if there was such a thing as an Episcopal temple prostitute? Why not “Whores of Mensa”?

Who says? Under what authority? Your God, or mine?

Similarly, Kink/Fet, LGBTG, and Polyamorous “Communities” all seem to need rules, guidelines, bi-laws, charters, sanctions, and their own newspapers and magazines, issuing statements, pronouncements and whitepapers to tell people the difference between right and wrong, or appropriate vs. inappropriate for that particular group’s members so that they know how to behave.

I italicized “Communities” because it is odd that although we do so much to separate “Us” from those “Not like Us” economically, racially, and culturally, there is not generally a “Gay Town” or “Swingers Corners”, or even concepts like “The Understated Elegance of Bondage Manors…(a very well-disciplined community)”.

Nudist colonies are the notable exception. It might be nice to live in a gated community that was inhabited only by fellow perverts of a similar stripe, for instance, but then again….

There is a decided lack of diversity in each of the “Alternative Lifestyles” to the point that there is a great deal of bashing of transgender and bisexual individuals within the Gay/Lesbian communities, for instance.

Why learn to think outside one box only to crawl back into another one?

I enjoy the company of just about every type of pervert that exists, but it seems like I end up moving from one circle to another with very little overlap or congruency. Most people seem to need concentricity just to feel validated.

After a few years pursuing any style of living, you start to resemble others of a similar persuasion, whether it be hairstyles, humor, tattoos, scars, or attitude and demeanor, and after a while you can tell who is who even when we’re naked.

I prefer the adventure of experimentation. Why do I have to join your union or wear your flag just to get naked with you? Sometimes I like the top, other times, perhaps the bottom…I love the smell of leather in the evening…whether it’s in my hand, or against my skin…and although I prefer the feather to the actual live chicken, I try to keep my mind, and my options open….

I figure you ought to try anything at least three times, just to make sure you got it right before you make a judgment about it.

Are there any other Eclectic Omnivores out there? What about Sexually Deviant Scientists? Pervert Philosophers? Free-lance reporters for International Pornographic? Or even Dr. Satan’s All-Volunteer Human Meat-Puppet Show? (It’s hilarious!)

How about an Actor’s Guild for the Theater of the Mind? There’s one union to whom I might consider paying dues….

Feel free to ring me up.

A Rejected Submission (Satire)

Posted in Humor, Philosophical Sexuality, Possibly Dangerous to Everyone, Satire with tags , on December 1, 2013 by dreamlanddancing

Program your Children for Success by Bribing them with Alcohol, Marijuana, Music and Pornography

(My publicist strongly advised me against even sending the following entry to Parenting Magazine at all, but I could neither resist nor wait for either their reaction or rejection, so please feel free to comment on your thoughts on this issue.)

If you believe that punishment is an effective method for either teaching or behavior modification, do not read any farther, unless you thrive on being provoked or offended. If your lesson plan for your children includes subservience, or if you believe in the divine right of kings, we have nothing more to discuss.

If you think that the answer to non-compliance is more punishment, or that there is something inherently right or wrong in any method or means to any desired end, prepare to have your sensibilities abraded, should you choose to continue; I do not recommend doing so, however.

And finally, if yo do not believe that you have the ability to learn at least as much from your children as they do from you, I would direct you to the Asian koan that states: “A wise person is more likely to learn from a fool than the other way around.”

What the school system dictates as either curriculum or methodology is beyond my control. It has been my finding that the System is more concerned with compliance than education and job security takes precedence over learning.

Most of us were raised amidst the ruins of either a marginally successful or marginally failed romantic monogamy and attended devotional worship of some higher power in which we did not believe, but were afraid to denounce, wallowing in layers of denial supported by an interlocking interdependent series of lies and self-perpetuating illusions enforced by punishment. fear, threats, shame and guilt.

Please regard this text as a modest proposal for a rational alternative. Within that context, consider these possibilities.

Try to realistically introduce your children to the pursuit of sufficient Power and Autonomy to achieve Happiness. When most adults are doing what they like to do best, it usually involves Nakedness, Sex, Pornography, or at least “Blue Humor” and off-color jokes, drinking alcoholic beverages, taking drugs, listening to whatever they consider to be “their kind” of Music, and generally trying to get far enough out of their heads to forget, or better yet, never realize how badly their life sucks.

Let’s face it, other than Adultery, Autonomy, Hedonism, Altered States, and Self-determination, there are few perks to recommend Adulthood over Childhood.

Since it is usually the people with the most money or social privilege that get away with the most licentious behaviors, it would be best to get rid of their childhood delusions of Democracy, Equality or Fairness as early as possible, so they can concentrate their efforts into learning how to get what they want.

This does not mean give them what they want…make them earn it. Bonding is great, and quality time is positively essential, so wouldn’t it be better to maximize the effectiveness of the whole process by knowing that they will actually listen to what you say if they think you will give them what they really want?

“You want to get high on grass?…I want to see your name on the Honor Roll…then we can celebrate together with some Kush”

“…Want to play grab-ass with little Suzy in your room?…Not if it isn’t clean.”

“…Would you rather pick out your own clothes, or have your mother buy them for you?…Make sure the laundry is done.”

“…Do you like to drink beer?…I’d like to have the lawn mowed.”

“…Want to watch an NC-17 movie?…Let’s watch it together.”

This empowers the parents by eliminating the necessity of introducing a “middle man” into the equation who may undermine your authority and interfere with the bonding process. Fall back upon your own experiences by remembering what it was like trying to find some degenerate who was willing to provide teens with drugs or alcohol. There was usually a cost incurred which either made the transaction exorbitant or dangerous.

Speaking of child predators, by keeping your children off the street to get their kicks, you also reduce the likelihood of predation by law-enforcement.

Direct stimulus-response programming of desired behaviors has been scientifically proven to be the most effective method of behavior modification, as well as learning in general. Punishment is the documented worst method. It has been proven more than once to be less effective than doing nothing at all.

You have the opportunity to reestablish your Hero Status as their parents. Remember when you thought your parents were just the greatest and smartest and most wonderful people on the planet, and you couldn’t wait to do their bidding, just to receive their praise and favor? Probably not…but even if you did, do you remember how or when it suddenly stopped? Here’s your chance to put it all back in your favor.

How far are you willing to go to get back in control of your child’s attention and behaviors? If you tell them they can’t have it, they will just get it somewhere else, and pretty soon, they will get the mistaken impression that they don’t need you at all, and by the time they figure out how wrong they were, they may already be homeless, in jail or even dead. If they come to view their home as a Sanctuary, they will be disinclined to want to leave it, or to lose your camaraderie.

By doing this, it wins back their affection at a time when alienation and rebellion are most likely to distance parents and children. They may even acknowledge that they really don’t have any issues with you at all, since you know what they want, and are willing to allow them to have it…for a price. As the saying goes “You gotta give action if you wanna get action.”

Don’t confuse them with pontifications about unconditional love; make sure they realize that everything they desire in life is contingent upon successful completion of desired behaviors, just like it is in the real world.

This not only removes the most powerful weapons of rebellion and turns them into tools for effective programming and control of behaviors, it most importantly removes the motivation to rebel in the first place.

If they still insist on indiscriminate, uncreative use of vulgar and obscene words and expressions, then simply get high with them while you watch an entire afternoon of the Jerry Springer show on DVD, with all the commercials taken out, so they get the full effect of what they really sound like.

And don’t neglect to listen to their music with them. Open your ears, your mind, and your heart. You can teach them to appreciate retro, jazz, or other forms of music in general just by the example you set, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you hear. I now share my son’s appreciation of Daft Punk, Knife Party, The Gorillas, and Skrillex as a result.

If you can acknowledge that they just want to have the same things that you want, and perhaps even enjoy secretly, you may be able to divorce Hypocrisy and Denial from the equation. Nothing weakens the position of parents who try to lord their feigned moral superiority over their children more than those two obvious flaws programmed into unthinking adults.

When the social dynamic of the interaction between parent and child is based on honesty and frank dialogue, parents are as likely to learn from their children as vice-versa.

As the child recognizes the importance and power of conforming to adult standards of behavior with direct stimulus-response mediated rewards and feedback, your likelihood of success in modifying their behaviors is increased since once you can control the body, the mind naturally follows.  And this gives children the opportunity to happily follow the path of least resistance with compliant behaviors.

Pornography is not an end unto itself of course, but rather represents a symbolic acknowledgment of their sexuality. It provides them with an outlet for their desires until a suitable human partner can be acquired. By permitting sexual explorations within the home, rather than driving them out of it, they are less likely to be harmed and/or victimized.

If they are still adamant in their insistence upon rebellion and rejection of the norms of society in general, then just point out that Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll made you what you are today. This will seem so repugnant to them that I can’t think of a better way to steer them into more effective and conventional behaviors.

Your relationship with your children can be the most significant and profound bond of your entire life. They are not pets, nor subjects, nor extensions of your egos to allow you to vicariously relive your failed past. Raise them to aspire to be your equals and treat them as such.

Remember, you are training them on how to take care of you, eventually.

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