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Why I suffer

Posted in Uncategorized on January 16, 2017 by dreamlanddancing

It is because of impermanence
that we suffer.
We expect that happy things stay
and bad things go.
But you can’t get your heart broken
unless you fall in love.
You will only mourn your lost youth
if you wasted it
by not living now.
All our friends will die
our pets will die
All our lovers will die.
Our children will die.
No death…?
No suffering…?
Would you give up Love
just to feel no pain?
Would you never take chances
just to avoid calamity?

The Circle of Life
that one must take life
to sustain one’s own.
Fish eat other fish.
Cows eat grass.
Birds eat worms,
and one day
worms will eat us.
Respect the life you take,
as well as the connections
you form
as you do.

I like to feel hungry
I like to eat.
I like to get thirsty
because I like to drink.
I like to feel loneliness;
it makes me
appreciate companionship
as well as solitude.
I like to feel
unbridled Lust,
fueled by
the searing pain
of emptiness
because I know
the only way
I can apperciate it
is if I know
The pain of lost love
only exists
after one has felt
The Crush of
as new as
spring grass
after the rain.

I learned to call myself
The Eternal Singer of
Torch Songs
just to try to find a way
to channel all the energy
generated by
all the lost loves of my life.
Like it or not,
we are all connected.
Sometimes it seems
as ethereal
as a wift
of the perfume
of a lost love
that continues to haunt me
years later,
coming our of nowhere
into the Now Here.
At other times,
a phantom
that haunts every breath I take
as it steps upon my shadow
while the Earth bleeds
with each step I take.

Desire follows all suffering.
As we joyously pursue
our desires,
we must learn to be
what we wish for
and prepared
to embrace
the suffering that will follow
as we move on
through this life
here and now.
Joy will come to us
just long enough
to hurt us when it goes.
There is no escape.
Only this.
Just this.
This is why
I suffer.
This is why I smile.

Some day
there will be no more suffering;
My mind will stop chattering
and I will hear only
The Music
of the Clear Mind.
The Music of
Mu Shin.

Even Now
the briefest moments
one measure
of the
Symphony of Eternity.
For Now,
I still smile
as I suffer.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

Chazz Vincent

Yet Another Page

Posted in Uncategorized on December 24, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

I have just now put all of my assembled poetry onto a separate page accessible from the “About” page.

It is entitled “Songs of Love from the Bottom of the Ocean, Within the Asylum, or Inside the Armory.”

It is something of a rough draft, and a few entries may yet be eliminated, but I thought I would put it out there while I am still working on it.

Most of it was written over the last four years except for “Spring Dream” and “What Have You Done with My Goddess?”.

I plan on assembling my collected essays on yet another page sometime in the future.

Otherwise, I have been told it is not very easy to access some posts from the archives; I have found it difficult myself, since I do not necessarily know when I may have posted a particular item.


Chazz Vincent




Morning Revelation

Posted in Crazy Zen Wisdom, Observations of a Recovering Buddhist, Uncategorized on December 24, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

How can this be?

I am looking at a drawer filled with about fifty-three unmatchable   black socks; some are more black, or more blue, or more grey/gray(?); no ribs, ribs that don’t match each other; high-tops, low-tops no tops; over the calf, below the calf.

All black.

All just slightly different enough for me to notice.

Where did they all come from?

Where did their mates go?

Is this some portent of what my life has become?…a series of flawed choices born of imperfect alternatives?

Despite this daily conundrum, I make the best choice I can, fearing that everyone will notice the source of my secret shame the minute I enter the room, only to arrive at work, and while crossing the parking lot to discover I am walking behind a woman who has unknowingly tucked the back of her dress into the top of her pantyhose.

Fortunately I know her well enough to avert her eventual humiliation and even try to dispel her embarrassment by showing her my mis-matched socks.

And at that moment I thought, naked or clothed most of us are too busy and preoccupied with our own real and imagined flaws to notice anyone else’s, and those who would call attention to our own faux-pas are only trying to divert attention away from theirs.

And if they did, I would have retaliated with a scathing critique of something I already knew they believed they were hiding from everyone else who already knew, deceiving only themselves in believing their subterfuge had worked.

(Somewhere within me I had developed a talent for noticing such things in case “I needed them later”, and it was quite liberating to give up that addiction.)

BTW: It’s the same mentality that provokes an entire nation’s government to stockpile enough nuclear and biological weapons to destroy the entire world seven times, monitor every electronic word or internet access we make and generally wipe their asses with the first amendment in the name of protecting our Freedom.

I don’t hate the government…but sometimes I think they are trying to take over the country…and if that statement doesn’t strike you as being tragically and ironically funny, I suggest you look up the phrase “…for and by the will of the people…”.

It’s contagious if you fall into that trap, but we have only ourselves to blame if we do.

Otherwise, who will protect us from our protectors? But ah!..I do digress!

The entire universe is a reflection of our own minds’ inventions.

You have the choice to put it all down.

Somehow, I had created those socks in order to force myself to notice something I already knew but refused to acknowledge.

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei

(Goodbye Master of Dispair)

Chazz Vincent


PS: Almost every faith, race, or belief system on the planet celebrates any number of holidays over the course of this month and the next; wouldn’t it be great if for just sixty days we didn’t use our beliefs as an excuse to destroy or impugn everyone else’s?

“When you impugn, you hazard repugnant pugnacity.”

“…nemo me impune lacessit…”

(…and vice-versa…)

Sayonara y’all!


What’s in Your Wallet?

Posted in Uncategorized on December 21, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

Your Time

your Energy

and your Love

are the Currency of your Life.

Chazz Vincent

My Favorite Buddhist Joke

Posted in Uncategorized on December 20, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

(More observations of a recovering Buddhist)

I first heard this many years ago. It was funny then for an entirely different reason.

A man decides he wants to become a Zen Buddhist monk, so he goes off to devote his life to the pursuit of Buddhism.

He is interviewed for several hours by all the monks in the monastery, who tell him they will decide amongst themselves and for him to wait outside for their decision.

They finally call him in and tell him they admire his devotion and dedication, but they think it would be best if he went back into the world to get a life to give up.




How to Breathe Underwater

Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

(This is a re-blog I found while assembling my collected poems that deserved a second reading)

You were perched on your rock

when I came upon you,

ready to dive

into the water,


in the late mid-morning.

The sun had evaporated the morning dew

and the air was heavy with the vapor.

You tried to cover your nakedness

at first

but I was not the kind of gentleman to look away

once I had already recognized you first.

You seemed to sense that it was I

and your shoulders drooped

as your hands fell away

from your tender parts

with a soft, sweet sigh

and you smiled that smile

I hadn’t seen

in too many lifetimes to recall.

We later named that rock Reality.

I hadn’t planned on seeing anyone there

that day.

I thought it was my special place


You blushed and giggled

as you looked over your shoulder,

then winked

and dove right under.

I stripped and followed you right in.

I found you waiting for me there

very deep in the pond,

halfway to the bottom

where the water was still clear

and the sun shone down

illuminating us both,

our eyes open wide and

your smile so broad…

When we touched,

we kissed for so long

that you started to gasp

and struggle

to reach the surface,

clearly panicked…

afraid for your life.

I smiled and said

“What’s your hurry, my dear?”

“This is our dream you know…”

“Only a dream?”

you asked, almost tearfully.

“It’s all a dream of a dream

within a dream…

Now breathe in

and realize your true power.

After this we can fly

like Peter and Wendy

as naked as jaybirds

until we are dry…”

“…But only a dream?”

you repeated again,

and this time I really thought you would cry.

“What do you mean

only a dream?

Reality is for people who can’t handle


“You can live in fear

of what might happen

and chances are

nothing will.”

“Nothing at all…”


Swim with me.

Dream we are dolphins

until you learn to dream

of breathing underwater.

Fly with me.

Do not be afraid.

It isn’t the fall that hurts

it’s the sudden stop

at the end of the dream

we never want to end.

Stand on the edge of the volcano,

or swing on the swing

 at the end of the world

with me.

We can jump

or fly away as we choose.

We can do the Ghost Dance together in Dreamland

until the detonation

sweeps us all away.


Posted in Uncategorized on December 12, 2016 by dreamlanddancing

I once wrote a post here called “She Wants to be the Other Woman”.

It was written for Suki, my spouse and co-conspirator of over twenty years.

The mother of our three children.

She rarely writes at all anymore; she says it is just “not her thing” and although it was not her strongest skill, the inspiration, understanding and support she provided was a creative thing of beauty in itself.

She never got to enjoy the kind of creative banter or literary flirtatiousness that I have enjoyed with a number of fellow writers (and fellow travelers) who have inspired me in other ways.

I assumed she already knew, and enjoyed the companionship and intimacy not provided others who have inspired me, in much the same way as a wife is jealous of a mistress.

My real mistake was in not recognizing that she never felt she got the credit she deserved just for being there for me.

Favorite Poems #’s 1,2,6 and 9 were inspired by her.

We give to others according to their needs, as well as for what we get from them.

We all bring something different to this movable feast we call our lives, and nothing tastes better than it does when we hunger for it, and we will do more to get it when those hungers are not satisfied.

Her hunger was for recognition as well as acknowledgement. I regret not understanding that now, in retrospect.

Between Suki and Anastasia (sometimes literally) I drew inspirations I have learned to envy and miss in more ways than I could have imagined. It is not surprising that they developed the rapport that they found within each other that I was blessed to witness, and I share her nostalgia for that wonderful time in our lives together.

At least Suki is still here, although sometimes I feel like I was the consolation prize. The long gone Astral Traveler left without even saying goodbye, but I later learned that it was just her way of hoping we would leave the light on for her, because in truth, she always came and went as she pleased, and we loved her for it.

(We still do, by the way.)

She called me from somewhere in eastern Europe almost a year ago; she had been traveling with a techno EDM band that barely spoke any English at all, and I understand she is playing electronic percussion for them, which is quite amazing, since she never played the drums at all before, and often lamented that she always ended up with the guitarist even though she wanted the drummer.

Now she can be the drummer she always wanted, but never got.

Good for her.

To even know either of them was a blessing for which I  will always be grateful, but since I never seem to manage to say it…

Thank you Suki.

Dōmo arigatōgozaimashita, tsukimono suji no kimi.

どうもありがとうございました, 私の最愛の白い魔女

We miss you Anastasia, and yes we’ll leave the light on….

Chazz Vincent


Sayonara, y’all!


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