Love on the Three Hundred Mile an Hour Train

 

 

 

 

How does it happen? In spite all of your insecurities and imagined faults, you meet someone who thinks that you are attractive, clever and sexy and they seem to be everything you have ever desired.

They sense your mutual attraction, and it empowers them in ways they never knew before, inspired to reveal themselves to you in ways they never knew possible.

You are stunned…awestruck within this dance of courtship, flattered beyond your imagination that someone so amazing is just as attracted to you.

Your soul feels lighter than air. Your imagination soars and every word you speak sounds brilliant to both of you, and you never felt quite so good looking before.

In each other’s eyes you raise each other far above the mundane, and the banal, each one better and brighter than either was in each others absence.

For a time.

One day, the spell breaks. First she stops believing in herself.

She is no longer inspired to charm and seduce you with the brilliance that she believes that she no longer possesses, and you in turn lose the faith in yourself that had made you so irresistible to her.

To be the idol of one’s own idol is to steal fire from the gods.

Like enlightenment, that which we desire cannot be attained by mere will.

In either courtship or marriage, now our longing and neediness as well as our self-consciousness makes attainment of our desires impossible.

The dog does not chase the deer because the deer runs…the deer runs because the dog chases it.

So you forget about it long enough to loose yourself in your self doing whatever makes you feel most alive. The longing is gone. You no longer feel incomplete.

You are complete within yourself.

You are back on the three hundred mile an hour train.

No desire, and no suffering.

Only this, just this.

If you try to call a cat to come to you, unless you have food, or something else that they want, they never come, but if you ignore it and read a newspaper, they will come to you.

Love comes, Love goes, yet we remain.

Fish swim with the tides, into and out of the lagoon as it empties itself, receives from, and flows back into the sea.

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

07/19/2020

Friday the Thirteenth

…so I wake up hearing a voice whispering “Oh shit! Here we go again…why can’t we just go back to sleep?”

“Indeed. In fact, why bother to wake up at all?” I found myself replying, albeit sarcastically.

(I suddenly realize that at this point, I am engaged in clever repartee with myself.)

And it was then that I realized that I was only dreaming.

Nevertheless, I found myself deeply disturbed that such notions were in my head at all.

Yes it was only a dream, but apparently, dark impulses must be generated from within, but why?

One year was enough…too much in fact…for either recuperation or morning. Life was slipping through my fingers…as if trying to cup my hands to catch my own blood.

I was suddenly overcome by anxiety, as I felt my chest tighten and I became short of breath, as if suffocating.

It was then that I realized that I was only dreaming.

So I went to my long forgotten mistress, my muse, the keyboard, with whom so much time had passed, so long ago.

Initially, she rebuffed my advances, shamed me, questioned my motives, and demanded to know my intentions; jealous and hurt, she nonetheless reluctantly consented to physical congress, although it was really her affections that I had missed the most.

Go figure.

The longer that I tried to express myself, the further down the rabbit hole I fell.

I fell so far that it felt like I was flying, and suddenly I was.

It was then that I realized that I had only been dreaming….

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
さよなら絶望先生
(Goodbye, Master of Despair)

Namasté
नमस्ते

Sukhino Bhava
सुखिनोऽभव)

Chazz Vincent
Friday, the 13th of March, 2020

Return to Nothing

 

 

Knowing Nothing. Doing Nothing.

Wu-wei

 

No.

Wu!

Nothing

 

Everything associated with the Mind is subject 

to duality, 

impermanence and illusion.

 

Yes.

 

Our thinking minds

create all the suffering in the world

as they inject fear into the future

generated by ruminating about the past, 

leading us to believe

we cannot live without our minds.

 

Perhaps.

 

Our minds, like spoiled toddlers

having a tantrum in public.

 

We’ll see what we can do.

 

In loosing our minds,

the air and the water become still 

and everything becomes completely clear.

 

For a moment.

 

Everything you need, you already have.

Everything you need to know, you already know.

Everything you need to be, you already are.

 

Always.

 

The return of Nothing Special.

 

Everyday Zen.

Wu-wei wu

(One less thing to neglect.)

 

Planck time is the ever-present never-present

present moment

Between Nothingness and Eternity.

 

Everything is.

Was.

and

Will be.

Right here.

Right now.

 

 

 

 

Namasté

नमस्ते

Chazz Vincent

08/27/19